Would you make a good police detective?

[Nailest]

Or maybe a better question would be can you tell when someone is lying?!

I am so completely gullible that the country would be overrun by murderers and thieves if they’d been interviewed by me! I thought age might make me a bit more discerning but, nope, still get completely taken in.

Not even a little bit.

There’s a book called Cairn’s Jawbone, and it comes in a completely random book of pages. The idea is, you need to put the book in the right order to solve the murder. So far there have only been 3 people to successfully complete this.

I’m so tempted, but I know I would fail. Badly. And then end up super frustrated.

I don’t think I’ll be rushing out to buy that any time soon! How have you heard about that book?

I wonder what jobs the 3 successful people do!

Yes. I'm quute good at knowing when someone is lying to me, and I'm quite good at putting pieces of information together and figuring things out BUT, I'm extremely forgetful (worryingly so).

Based on my huge knowledge of TV detectives I think I'd be brilliant.

In reality probably not very good.

Yes. And I did. 😁

You need to be very thorough, skeptical and determined. It's SO satisfying to sit opposite someone and absolutely smother them in evidence of their crime, especially when they are lying to you.

My favourite was a guy who said "But how do you know all this?" when I'd worked out he was from New Zealand, not Australia as claimed and presented his entire criminal history across five countries to him in interview. I just said "I'm a Detective" and carried on with the interview. 😁😁😁 Good times.

@SilverHairedCat that must’ve been a supremely satisfying moment!

But could you tell if someone was lying to you when they were looking straight at you, swearing up and down they were telling the truth, protesting their innocence fiercely etc?

I was a police detective for over 20 years. Some you can catch out with other evidence.Some come out with such ridiculous lies you can't help laughing. Some really believe their own lies and convince themselves it's the truth. Some spin such a complicated, elaborate Web of lies that their brain can't keep it going and you can easily trip them up, they were the ones I like interviewing the most. Then there's the ones who were too stupid to even create a small lie - like the one who wrote a fraudulent cheque but put his own real name and address on the back of the cheque!

I was a police detective. I was pretty good but couldn't hack the stress levels. I quit before I turned into a female Cracker.

@gonnabeok and @AmbushedByCake I wish I had your ability to detect lies - might’ve made bringing up the dc easier!

Seriously though, hats off to you both, and others like you, for doing what you did.

I am / and would be great at digging in the background. I'm curious and have a need to understand. However, I'm not great with liers.

I would like to think so yes, it's something I regret, not going into policing when I was younger.

Nope! I'm autistic and I can't read people very well.

I don't think I'd be great at the interviewing people part, but I think I would be great at the deduction and putting together clues! Not sure what that is though - obviously not the detective!

DH has done the job for years and stresses that knowing somebody is lying is not as important as you think or a skill you need to be very good at the job. Often, as a pp said, you know quite easily who's telling the truth and who isn't but it's irrelevant. You investigate to a high standard and interview robustly. He says assuming guilt or innocence can prejudice your investigation in some small ways. He also notes that the most serious cases in his career involved people who were born liars and extremely convincing. He maintains that occasionally, you meet a criminal who is the perfect picture of innocence and nobody would know. Only the evidence tells the truth. And then the mask slips. Those are the career defining and troubling ones and thankfully, rare.

Have you seen those programmes where they show you how to read almost indiscernible body language ticks and movements. Brilliant. I even watched an actor on a tv show do it because he was saying the lines (that he killed someone or whatever it was in the show) but his body was saying no because in real life he didn’t.

I just assume everyone is lying all the time. But I’d be a terrible detective all the same because I am rubbish at narrowing focus. I get bogged down in detail.

I take my hat off to detectives.

I have a bit of a thing about detail. My old boss loved it. I remembered what people said and if it deviated I’d remember. If it came to paperwork, I’d notice discrepancies. I noticed the things that others didn’t.

I have an inner Catherine Tate nan.

But no matter how many hours I spend in front of Law and Order, Midsomer Murders and Vera, I know I would probably be pure rubbish in real life.

I’d be the person in the archives. Noticing things. 🙂

Im pretty good at reading people and working out when they're not telling the truth.

Im very cynical and take everything I'm told I with a pinch of salt. I have a pretty good memory too which would help because people don't normally remember the stories they've told.

I used to work with offenders and they were alway innocent! They were hilarious and truly believed they were being set up and their version of events was the truth even when presented with evidence usually CCTVV of them caught in the act.

@ShowOfHands

DH has done the job for years and stresses that knowing somebody is lying is not as important as you think or a skill you need to be very good at the job. Often, as a pp said, you know quite easily who's telling the truth and who isn't but it's irrelevant. You investigate to a high standard and interview robustly. He says assuming guilt or innocence can prejudice your investigation in some small ways. He also notes that the most serious cases in his career involved people who were born liars and extremely convincing. He maintains that occasionally, you meet a criminal who is the perfect picture of innocence and nobody would know. Only the evidence tells the truth. And then the mask slips. Those are the career defining and troubling ones and thankfully, rare.

That’s really interesting - thank you, especially the bit about not recognising someone is lying not being as important as you’d think.

Do you think that if you convince yourself you’re telling the truth (maybe by repeating your lies so often you believe them) that your body language then doesn’t give you away?

@Elieza

Have you seen those programmes where they show you how to read almost indiscernible body language ticks and movements. Brilliant. I even watched an actor on a tv show do it because he was saying the lines (that he killed someone or whatever it was in the show) but his body was saying no because in real life he didn’t.

I would love a link to those if you have time.

I would really love to work on cold cases. I think that must be really satisfying to put it all together and work out what really happened.

Maybe, I'm not sure.

I know when people are lying all the time. Especially by body language. For example, when people touch their nose. They do it subconsciously but that's a sign they're lying.

I'm quite good at piecing information together.

@Nailest

I don’t think I’ll be rushing out to buy that any time soon! How have you heard about that book?

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