Would you make a good police detective?

[Nailest]

Or maybe a better question would be can you tell when someone is lying?!

I am so completely gullible that the country would be overrun by murderers and thieves if they’d been interviewed by me! I thought age might make me a bit more discerning but, nope, still get completely taken in.

It's not so much I can tell people are lying I have an inner radar that kind of pings when something is not right or when someone is up to no good I can't really explain it but I suppose it's like an inner gut feeling

On the one hand, I’d be excellent. I’m a cynic by nature and get a sense when something is off and things don’t make sense. I’m analytical and my mind works fairly quickly in situations.
On the other hand, I’d be rubbish as I never recognise anyone so probably wouldn’t be able to spot the murderer that I’d previously interviewed and suspected or remember what car they drove.

I'd second what a PP said. It really doesn't matter if you know who is lying or not. You need evidence that they committed the offence. CCTV, forensics, witnesses etc to convict someone. I think to be a good detective you basically need to be really nosy, and have a good eye for detail.

I like to think I would be. I'm very cynical anyway.

I'm good with facts and unravelling information. I have had jobs where people are not who they say they are to avoid paying bills. Very satisfying presenting them with what you've found. Not so nice the name calling and threats
On a personal note I'm crap.i trust everyone

I think so. I’m tenacious when I want to find something out, I love detail. I also look like Viv from No Offence

I think I could be quite good.

I tend to read people very well. I usually know when someone is fibbing.

I have a natural curiosity and like putting pieces together.

I handle stress fairly well overall but I couldn’t work on cases involving children, they would upset me too much. I think I’d end up taking work home with me, which wouldn’t be good.

I'm not at all sure I could tell when people are lying.

But I think I have a good eye for detail, and could be really good at putting disparate items of info together, which could be the way to work out what lines of enquiry need to be considered next.

No. I feel too sorry for folk even when they don’t deserve it and get drawn in to their sob story. DH and I watched a programme of a mock trial years ago where the jury thought it was real. Anyway I was abso taken in by the accused “vulnerable” upset persona I decided not guilty….. of course he was guilty and I was horrified at how easily I believed them !

My DH is a retired police officer, did various roles including being a DC and a DS.

Positives: He will find anything, I feel defeated but he will go on relentlessly and get there in the end.
Negatives: He will go on relentlessly about other things. I'd hate to be interrogated by him, I think I'd confess to anything in the end just for a bit of quiet.

I think the big thing is believing you can find it/work it out.

He has tracked down people on the run and it would amaze me how he would get a snippet of information in one place and it would lead him to another place and on and on but he'd get there.

I couldn't do it, I'd give up because I wouldn't believe I could find them/solve it. I don't think knowing who is lying is the biggest issue I think it is determination.

Do you think that if you convince yourself you’re telling the truth (maybe by repeating your lies so often you believe them) that your body language then doesn’t give you away? Yes I've heard my husband saying this, the liar who believes his own lies is very convincing.

I was a devoted fan of the Famous Five as a child. I knew that I could beat the combined forces of MI5 and Scotland Yard if only I stumbled upon an appropriate mystery.

Unfortunately, my experiences as an adult suggest otherwise. There was the time I thought the health food shop opposite was unusually busy. I didn’t realise until the police turned up I’d been watching a robbery.

And I was the idiot who handed over my phone to someone who barked at me that he was the police. He was chasing someone, asked for my phone whilst flashing a card at me, and so of course I handed my phone over. Okay. It turned out he was the police…

Timmy the dog is clearly considerably brighter than me.

@Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies

I was a devoted fan of the Famous Five as a child. I knew that I could beat the combined forces of MI5 and Scotland Yard if only I stumbled upon an appropriate mystery.

Unfortunately, my experiences as an adult suggest otherwise. There was the time I thought the health food shop opposite was unusually busy. I didn’t realise until the police turned up I’d been watching a robbery.

And I was the idiot who handed over my phone to someone who barked at me that he was the police. He was chasing someone, asked for my phone whilst flashing a card at me, and so of course I handed my phone over. Okay. It turned out he was the police…

Timmy the dog is clearly considerably brighter than me.

We could be friends I feel!

You’ve just reminded me of the time when I waved nicely at the people who were nicking our car …

@ancientgran I bet your dh is a nightmare to argue with:

You: I told you, I don’t like cornflakes.

Your dh: On the contrary, you told me on 23rd of July 1987, and I quote, “I’m very partial to a bowl of cornflakes of a morning”.

No. Having had a DC in our lives investigating my former husband's crimes for the past 6 months, I realise, it's a job I couldn't do. My emotions would totally rule me and I'd get quite stressed by people's attempts to deny their abhorrent behaviour/actions (talking about criminals here). I think you need to have mental stamina built like a brick shithouse (as my dad would say) and I have nothing but the deepest respect for detectives. I think they're amazing individuals... constantly playing mental cat and mouse with some very troubled individuals and still able to raise families, have a life, etc. That's not an easy balance to strike.

I think so. I am quite nosey and love digging out information.

I work with vulnerable victims, though some shall we say are not what they seem!
It can be laughable, today I said "yes I appreciate X tried to assault you however it would be a matter for a judge to decide if holding x down in the ground with your hands around their neck would constitute reasonable force!!" Thougb the response was "but I was the victim first!" (Which was true enough)

Not really. Im the type if person to say “guilty” because the look a certain type🤷🏼‍♀️

@Nailest You are very close there except he doesn't need the bloody notebook, he's got a memory like a steel trap. Generally I just agree and go merrily on my way regardless.

I've got a brilliant memory, bordering on the eidetic. It wouldn't make me a good detective. I'd burn out within months. I can also read people which would do nothing but frustrate me.

Being a detective is almost nothing like people suspect, especially if you watch or read a lot of crime fiction! If it were like they depict with a irascible but brilliant inspector and a keen but naive sergeant sidekick, most of MN would be well employed. MNers with their nosey, slightly judgemental but sympathetic leanings would be all over it. Sadly, DIs don't do any of that stuff you see on telly and as a DS, dh spent most of his time on the phone arguing with CPS, filling in paperwork and recording no comment interviews.

A decent detective needs to not have caring responsibilities, an ability to compartmentalise, attention to detail, patience and an acceptance that you are part of a framework. You almost can't have an opinion or hope. You investigate, you gather evidence, you present it. Even in interview you're not sniffing out things or unravelling, you're interview trained and following procedure.

I'd be good at spotting drug deals. I am invisible to dealers. Seen at least 6. Some right in front of the car I am sitting in.

Yes. I have a similar forensic thinking skill set but use it in the private sector.

@Soubriquet

Not even a little bit.

There’s a book called Cairn’s Jawbone, and it comes in a completely random book of pages. The idea is, you need to put the book in the right order to solve the murder. So far there have only been 3 people to successfully complete this.

I’m so tempted, but I know I would fail. Badly. And then end up super frustrated.

I bought this recently and haven't started it yet, as I have the potential of being able to do it, before I've actually started!! I'm sure my illusions will be dashed! 😂

I usually know when people are lying and I am good at spotting small details so maybe I would. According to DH and the DC I am good at interrogation too
However, my tolerance for Dickheads is very low and I have a habit of showing how I feel on my face so I would be rubbish at lulling anyone into a false sense of security or doing the “good cop” routine.

I would be rubbish

I'd get so bored and want the whole thing wrapped up - the mind-numbingly long process and procedures would kill me!
I'd basically be thinking about what to have for dinner and what colour I should paint my kitchen etc etc instead of concentrating!