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Original poster

Etiquette for sharing a hotel room with someone you don't know well

86 replies

DetailMouse · 07/03/2022 15:47

After a very long marriage I have recently become single. A lot of the time this is fine, but some things are very expensive as a single person - like hotel rooms, basically double.

I'm going away with a hobby group soon and had booked a room for myself, but a female acquaintance has asked if she can share, to save us both some money. I've said yes

Similarly, I'm interested in booking a small group holiday. If you don't pay the single supplement, they'll room you with someone of the same sex. I don't love that idea, but single rooms are expensive and usually not very nice, so thought I might try it.

What do I need to know/take to make this kind of sharing a success?

OP posts:
Original poster
DetailMouse · 07/03/2022 18:43

It's not turning the lights out that gave you a hangover Grin

OP posts:
Letmetakeaselfie · 07/03/2022 18:44

The worst thing is some couples wouldn't even have the decency to abstain from anything whilst in the room with others... I've heard some awful hostel stories, disgusting.

You can get very basic inexpensive single hotel rooms

Gwenhwyfar · 07/03/2022 18:47

"I've booked in both Premier Inn, Holiday Inn and Travelodge as a single person and never been charged more as a single."

You don't pay more in those places, but you pay the same as two people would as they don't have single rooms afaik so you end up paying twice as much as people sharing would be paying. It's normal though I suppose, you're using the room almost as much.
Other hotels often have single rooms or a lower price for single occupancy. I've never paid a single supplement, but it's obviously more expensive paying for a room rather than half the price of a room.
I presume single supplements are used on package trips...

Gwenhwyfar · 07/03/2022 18:48

@DetailMouse

It's not turning the lights out that gave you a hangover Grin
It's having to go to bed straight away. I need time to wind down, drink some decaf tea and water. It definitely makes a difference. The other friend and I still wanted to chat (it wasn't particularly late and we were on holiday) but it at a certain point it was lights out and that was it.
Orchidsonthetable · 07/03/2022 18:51

Bring your patience. You need to expect worst case, that the person will habe different sleep or room habits to you. They may stay up late, want to watch tv, they may get up very very early and have a shower, have rhe light on to read, they may want coffee etc. they may have insomnia and get up in the night, they may snore or hog the bathroom and be in there for a good hour when you need. They maybe messy or bring loads of stuff. They may eat smelly food in bed. They may spend ages on the phone when you’re trying to sleep. None of their habits will they find unusual or anti social, they will be normal to them, and they may find it very difficult to not do their normal routines.

And many of your habits they may find annoying. They might get pissed off you want to get up at six when they want to get up at seven, so you feel you need to just lie there.

So for me, it is bring your patience.

Lovingeveryrainbow · 07/03/2022 18:54

Poo in the lobby toilet

Original poster
DetailMouse · 07/03/2022 18:55

@Letmetakeaselfie

The worst thing is some couples wouldn't even have the decency to abstain from anything whilst in the room with others... I've heard some awful hostel stories, disgusting.

You can get very basic inexpensive single hotel rooms

How? Where? A lot of hotels don't even have single rooms, you have to book a double for single occupancy. Even when they do it's more than half of a double. If you go on an organised trip there's almost always a single supplement.
OP posts:
Orchidsonthetable · 07/03/2022 19:01

I couldn’t do ear plugs and an eye mask, I don’t have anxiety but if I was sharing with a relative stranger I’d like to know if they were moving about the room from a personal safety perspective. Too many weirdos out there,

Blossom64265 · 07/03/2022 19:04

I couldn’t do this because anyone I’m sharing space with that long has to agree to only use allergen free products.

I do help my dd get set up for sharing on trips and at summer camp each year so I do have some practical advice.

Bring something that will help with outlet constraints. Two unrelated people charging devices can create issues.

A portable mirror can really come in handy. Bonus points if it lights up by battery.

Try to make space on your luggage for a robe. It will just make things easier. Sometimes you forget something you need in the bathroom or want a few minutes before getting properly dressed.

Load entertainment onto a device in case streaming isn’t working. Have headphones. The tv isn’t as much of an option when you don’t know one another so you want a personal device of you want to watch anything.

dirtyjoan · 07/03/2022 19:04

I sleep really badly in shared rooms, even with close friends. I really hate it.
I had a couple of trips this summer with friends and I was shattered.

I think because I snore a little bit when I've had a drink, that makes me paranoid too.

So if I can avoid it, I do.

I would hope that a heavy snorer would realise they will disturb their room mate and pay the supplement but I bet many don't!

Gonnagetgoing · 07/03/2022 19:16

Ear plugs, eye mask, pyjamas.

elvenqueen · 07/03/2022 19:17

I've done this loads of times when on long haul trips with a group of strangers. I found it was great to have someone to go down to dinner with etc. I was shy when I was younger but this helped me get over it. Agree about ear plugs, an eye mask and a kindle. Rather than pjs you could take a longer PJ top for modesty. hope you enjoy it

rookiemere · 07/03/2022 19:18

@MaChienEstUnDick

Oh yeah, if you read get a kindle - it has its own night light so you can read when you want without disturbing the other person.
Honestly it still disturbs the other person as any light would in the middle of the night. I just need to remember to pack eye patches - or preferable - not share a room with my friend again.
Gonnagetgoing · 07/03/2022 19:20

Also from past experience not necessarily me - but make sure you're both on the same page!

I was in an organised friendship group where 2 women went on holiday and didn't know each other that well. One of them picked up men and took them back to the hotel room - that was being shared! Didn't go down well with the other friend...

I had a similar experience on a Christmas work party which was away from where we worked in London in Birmingham. I knew that one of the women was having an affair with a colleague, I didn't know they both planned to come back to our shared room (with the woman). I think the man was sharing with a male colleague. When I realised what was going to happen I told them to get out. Female colleague not impressed with me but I didn't want that! Even snogging next to me in the room, no, find a bar!

Gonnagetgoing · 07/03/2022 19:21

@Letmetakeaselfie

The worst thing is some couples wouldn't even have the decency to abstain from anything whilst in the room with others... I've heard some awful hostel stories, disgusting.

You can get very basic inexpensive single hotel rooms

@Letmetakeaselfie - yep - see mine. I wouldn't have minded but my colleagues were professionals - architects.
rookiemere · 07/03/2022 19:22

A lot of it depends on the room as well and how long you'll be in it.
Another - non kindle reading - friend and I had successfully shared on a number of trips, but it just didn't work well on our last one. I think it was a combination of factors- our twin room was quite small compared to our friends who had their own room and hadn't paid much of a premium for it, because of covid the rooms weren't being cleaned so the bin filled up quickly with two people and because it was UK rather than abroad we spent more time in the room than we have done on other trips.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 07/03/2022 19:24

I think this is quite simple. You need to talk, and tell other person your boundary, and stick with it. It's nothing different from spending time with your friends that you now. Just have to be polite and direct, since they don't know you.

rookiemere · 07/03/2022 19:27

@grapehyacinthisactuallyblue but it would be perfectly possible that two people have conflicting boundaries.

In the example I shared I didn't think I'd need to spell out that having a shower at 1am in a shared room is somewhat selfish, but her boundary may be that she never went to bed without a shower.

Brideandprejudice · 07/03/2022 19:29

I think the main things to consider are being tidy and decent, and also having good communication with the other person. Much easier to ask them their preferences at the start than to find out the hard way through awkward conversations.

Maybe decide at the start who will use the bathroom first etc.

Erinyes · 07/03/2022 19:36

Honestly, I wouldn’t go on a trip rather than share with anyone.

Mellowyellow222 · 07/03/2022 19:54

Ask the hotel for extra towels - there is never enough and you do not want to have to use someone else’s damp towel

Liveandkicking · 07/03/2022 19:58

I like to read to get to sleep and have a little book light which is good for sharing a room without annoying the other person if they are trying to sleep. Conversely a sleep mask if they want the light on whilst you’re sleeping.

NecklessMumster · 07/03/2022 20:03

Earplugs, kindle, vip poo spray...the one you put in the loo pre poo, it does work

Scianel · 07/03/2022 20:13

Please check before randomly spraying air freshener, it gives some of us a horrible headache.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 07/03/2022 20:13

Sharing a hotel room with stranger is just unnatural. It can only be done with necessity.
I had to share a room with a colleague. It was ok, only because it was paid by the work, and unavoidable.

I think if you choose to get better deal/pay less by staying with someone, especially a stranger, then you need to understand, that it's really your choice.