Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Etiquette for sharing a hotel room with someone you don't know well

86 replies

DetailMouse · 07/03/2022 15:47

After a very long marriage I have recently become single. A lot of the time this is fine, but some things are very expensive as a single person - like hotel rooms, basically double.

I'm going away with a hobby group soon and had booked a room for myself, but a female acquaintance has asked if she can share, to save us both some money. I've said yes

Similarly, I'm interested in booking a small group holiday. If you don't pay the single supplement, they'll room you with someone of the same sex. I don't love that idea, but single rooms are expensive and usually not very nice, so thought I might try it.

What do I need to know/take to make this kind of sharing a success?

OP posts:
OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 07/03/2022 18:08

I’ve had to for work, with a colleague I didn’t know well and wife of a colleague. (Chaperoning kids). Earplugs, earbuds, nightwear, VIPoo, change in loo, or when the other is in there. Luckily they were both nice, though one snored like a train. So loud the kids in next room thought it was me.

Workyticket · 07/03/2022 18:12

I did it on a group walking holiday years ago. I went with 2 friends - I cared the least about sharing with a stranger so I went on the mix up list

The lady I shared with was older and had done it before so she took the lead. I had long hair, she had short. I showered first so I could dry my hair whilst she was in the shower

She needed to get up for the loo in the night so took the bed nearest the loo as I didn't

She dealt with bugs (was abroad) and I kept her water bottle filled in return

superram · 07/03/2022 18:12

I try to poo in communal toilets rather than in the room.

BlanketsBanned · 07/03/2022 18:13

Where are you going, do you want help finding hotels that might be cheaper

gingerhills · 07/03/2022 18:13

I've seen a few group tours recently that are advertising no single supplements - I think Explore or Exodus was one of them, so you might not have to share.

rookiemere · 07/03/2022 18:14

Don't do what the lady I shared with on a walking weekend did. She arrived back in the room - loudly- at 1am, proceeded to have a shower and then snored like a trouper all night.
Oh and don't do what my friend did and start reading your fecking kindle at 3am unless I have eye patches on.

AngelinaFibres · 07/03/2022 18:16

@DetailMouse

It's OK saying don't do it, book your own room but you end up paying for two people every time you go away.
My mother is now a widow. She started off her new life sharing rooms with people she knew. She wouldn't share with a stranger. She has now decided that she would rather pay the single person supplement and have privacy and freedom from other people's snoring,farting and dumping. Worth every penny apparently.
WeirdlyKind · 07/03/2022 18:17

@BlanketsBanned

Most chain hotels you pay for the room, if you have to give both the names then just tell them on the day they will be joining you later.
I've booked in both Premier Inn, Holiday Inn and Travelodge as a single person and never been charged more as a single. It's the room with the chains, not the occupancy.
MrsGHarrison87 · 07/03/2022 18:19

I wouldn't, I'd rather pay but I like my privacy

Words · 07/03/2022 18:20

I'm afraid this is my idea of hell. I just couldn't do it.

Agree that single occupancy rooms are a huge rip off. Even worse are single supplements on hols you're taking by yourself. It can be up to 50 per cent more on walking holidays with some operators.

ramabanana · 07/03/2022 18:20

I did a 2 week no single supplement tour with Wendy Wu and was allocated a room with another lady who did the same, purely to save on costs as otherwise I would absolutely get my own room as I'm very introverted.

It worked out really well, the tour was a mix of singles (most paid to have their own room) and couples, and as we were 'forcibly aquainted' it made for a quick friendship and we buddied up during visits, eating and down time/ exploring on our own.

We weren't in one hotel for long so didn't have too much time to get messy but as long as you keep relativley tidy, aren't super loud and don't hog the bathroom it should be fine.

Ultimately it depends who you end up with but it's more than likely they'll be in exactly the same boat with the same worries.

Worth a try at least once!

AngelinaFibres · 07/03/2022 18:21

@Wouldyoubaby

I used to share a lot with strangers that were colleagues when I was working away…… have a poo when the shower is on :)
Hot, steamy room with fragrance of someone else's poop is very, very unpleasant for the next person. Save pooping until you can use a different toilet. Downstairs hotel toilets when everyone is at the breakfast buffet is a more considerate option.
MarianosOnHisWay · 07/03/2022 18:23

Poo in public toilets or in cafe etc when out and about.

wearewizardsofoz · 07/03/2022 18:23

I've shared on field trips (teacher) with other members of staff I don't really know. I would advise

Communicate frequently (but not obsessively!) about things like who's going to use the bathroom first etc to avoid awkwardness at bedtime/morning.

Take decent pyjamas!

If you like extra pillows etc take your own as they might want them too and there's not always enough.

Be tidy and willing to share snacks or appliances like hairdryer/iron/charger if you bring them.

Take a book if you're not keen on chatting at night, gives a signal without having to ask them to stop talking! But do check if they're ok with you keeping the light on!

You can be friendly without expecting a friendship.

If you have a hobby in common think of some conversations around that. I've found out loads about my fellow teachers through talking about our careers, families etc.

You never know you might end up good friends!

MaChienEstUnDick · 07/03/2022 18:24

I've done this in various situations.

Ear plugs are essential.

Also just be self-aware - I know I tend to jabber when there's a silence with a stranger, I read it as uncomfortable and try to fill it - that's not necessarily the case. It's actually better to surface stuff like that and say 'if I chatter on please do say'.

Poo elsewhere if you possibly, possibly can.

MaChienEstUnDick · 07/03/2022 18:25

Oh yeah, if you read get a kindle - it has its own night light so you can read when you want without disturbing the other person.

Shutthefeontdoor · 07/03/2022 18:27

I share with friends when away in a group and I like my space and privacy because I sleep awfully (thanks peri menopause!!) it’s fine though, I take my e-reader and have the light as low as I can and headphones so I can listen to a podcast. You will probably have fun and if it’s not good put it down to experience. Good luck!

Janeyjacke · 07/03/2022 18:32

Sorry wouldn't do it in a million years, I'd pay for a single room unless I really couldn't afford it, no way I'm sharing with some random person i barely know

Original poster
DetailMouse · 07/03/2022 18:33

@Janeyjacke

Sorry wouldn't do it in a million years, I'd pay for a single room unless I really couldn't afford it, no way I'm sharing with some random person i barely know
It's OK to say that but when this is your life It's £££ extra every time you go away, it's not a once only thing.
OP posts:
DameHelena · 07/03/2022 18:34

@Palavah

I've done it - it's fine. I met one of my best friends this way.

I would take:
Nightwear (ie don't sleep naked)
Ear plugs - a pair for you, a pair for them
Eye mask
Contain your stuff to one bit of the room
Consult each other on alarm times and bathroom usage - be cheerful and polite.
Have a book and earphones for chilling out.

Enjoy!

This is excellent advice, especially ‘Ear plugs - a pair for you, a pair for them’ and ‘Consult each other on alarm times and bathroom usage - be cheerful and polite.’

I think often the key to putting yourself at ease is actually putting the other person at ease.

Derbee · 07/03/2022 18:35

@DetailMouse

It's OK saying don't do it, book your own room but you end up paying for two people every time you go away.
Totally worth it, to have your own room. Especially if you’re worrying about the etiquette of it all
Original poster
DetailMouse · 07/03/2022 18:37

I'm not "worrying" about it, I'm just giving some thought about how best to make it work. And it's not once. It's every time you go away, effectively doubling your travel budget or halving the number of trips you can have.

OP posts:
Janeyjacke · 07/03/2022 18:37

An old friend of mine lived in Australia for a year and as rent was so expensive she shared a room with 4 other people, two of whom were in a couple. She was 30 too. I appreciate some people will either have to live like this or be homeless, but I have no idea at all how she managed it, never having your own space or privacy, I'd have lasted one night. Never stayed in a hostel for that reason

Gwenhwyfar · 07/03/2022 18:40

@DetailMouse

It's OK saying don't do it, book your own room but you end up paying for two people every time you go away.
I just go to cheap places. I'd rather be somewhere very basic for £40 than pay £30 to share in a nicer place. I shared over Christmas and realised I just can't do it any more. If I've gone out drinking I need some time to wind down afterwards and the person I was sharing with insisted on lights out straight away, which would leave me with a hangover in the morning. Never again.
Gwenhwyfar · 07/03/2022 18:42

@Janeyjacke

An old friend of mine lived in Australia for a year and as rent was so expensive she shared a room with 4 other people, two of whom were in a couple. She was 30 too. I appreciate some people will either have to live like this or be homeless, but I have no idea at all how she managed it, never having your own space or privacy, I'd have lasted one night. Never stayed in a hostel for that reason
I know someone who went on a group holiday and then had to be in a small place with a honeymooning couple!
Swipe left for the next trending thread