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Original poster

Grandparent asking to take DD9 abroad?

59 replies

anon2334 · 07/03/2022 13:36

My mum has asked to take my daughter abroad for two weeks in the summer? I would miss her and I’m slightly nervous but it’s her home country and I know my daughter would love it but it’s two whole weeks and I worry a lot. My daughter has said please please can I go. Pro is she would have a great time, I hope and a good experience but the con is I’m worried too, I remember going as a child and the heat is a bit intense and I felt sick a few times but I did have fun too. What would you do?

OP posts:
RollerGirl7 · 07/03/2022 13:38

What country?

NuffSaidSam · 07/03/2022 13:38

Let her go.

(Unless there is going to be a massive dripfeed that she wants to take her to Afghanistan or something).

Forestdweller11 · 07/03/2022 13:38

How old is child? Is grandparent capable/active/sensible? Will they have any support?

Personally I think two weeks on holiday is a long time, even with own child! Could they go for a week?

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Families
whoruntheworldgirls · 07/03/2022 13:40

Could you go for part of it? I wouldn't want to be away from my daughter for 2 weeks and i think it's likely she'll miss you too, despite how much she wants to go.

RandomQuest · 07/03/2022 13:41

What country? Could you go too or could you compromise at only a week?

Mumdiva99 · 07/03/2022 13:43

It depends. Do you work full time? What else would she be doing? Do GP regularly look after her? Has she been to this place before? Are there other kids to play with? Can you take her out for just 1 week....you travel weekend and GP bring her home....or they take her and you collect her....

YellowHpok · 07/03/2022 13:47

Nope. 2 weeks is too long. One week maybe, but not 2

Original poster
anon2334 · 07/03/2022 13:50

@Mumdiva99

It depends. Do you work full time? What else would she be doing? Do GP regularly look after her? Has she been to this place before? Are there other kids to play with? Can you take her out for just 1 week....you travel weekend and GP bring her home....or they take her and you collect her....
I work part time, I can’t afford to go and I have other younger children both on the spectrum and myself and dad will be looking after them. When the other two are a bit older grandma will treat all of us but can only afford my daughter at the moment, plus she is older and more capable. They are very close and she has looked after her many times during holidays but never gone abroad. The country is southern Italy and in august it can get very hot, often touches 40c for days and even weeks but it’s a lovely part of the world. I would love to go but my other children work, finances etc I can’t do even a week this year.
OP posts:
Loisiana · 07/03/2022 13:53

I think if you trust the grandparent fully and they have looked after your DD many times before, it sounds fine Smile Although I would find two weeks a bit too long as well.

BlingLoving · 07/03/2022 13:54

The only reason not to allow this would be if your other children would suffer/ feel hard done by. Yes, it's hot, but 9 year olds are remarkably resilient and adaptable and hot countries are generally also set up for it and I'm sure they'll spend lots of time swimming and in cooler places during the day, staying up late at night when it's cooler etc.

2 weeks is a long time. But for a 9 year old who is confident and happy with her grandmother, I'd consider it a perfectly acceptable solution and a wonderful opportunity. DH's grandmother took each of him and his siblings away at around that age and the all universally loved it.

Original poster
anon2334 · 07/03/2022 13:56

No my other two children are younger and both would have lovely days out and we will make sure they have a lovely summer. They would miss their sister though yeah. I might ask for 10 days as a compromise. She wouldn’t do a week, it’s not enough for her. I’ve asked lol

OP posts:
AwkwardPaws27 · 07/03/2022 13:57

They are very close and she has looked after her many times during holidays

Based on this I'd say yes (if DD had never been looked after by her it would be different).
I regularly spent time in school hols at my grandparents, & went to Canada aged 9 for a fortnight with my Nan (we visited her sister there). It was brilliant, so good in fact that I went with her again a few years later Grin

wanttomarryamillionaire · 07/03/2022 14:01

My nan used to take me away all the time, then she took my dc abroad when they were younger. We all absolutely loved it.

CagneyNYPD1 · 07/03/2022 14:02

Let her go. I say tihis gently (I have a dsis with ASD) but being the NT sibling can be very, very difficult. Let her go and be thoroughly spoilt by her GM and the wider family.

mangowithasqueezeoflime · 07/03/2022 14:05

When I was 11 my parents put me on a plane and I flew 4.5 hours by myself where my aunt took me off (still same country). We did 2 weeks and then again the following year. I can honestly say that time away from them and that independence made me into the person I am today. I now have visited as many counties as my age- and that's not a low number.

Let her spread her wings if you can.

LaLaLouella · 07/03/2022 14:07

As she has such a good relationship with her GM already I'd let her go - it sounds like a great adventure. Don't let your fears hold her back.

Mumdiva99 · 07/03/2022 14:16

Well sounds like an adventure. I hope she enjoys it.

Mariposista · 07/03/2022 14:27

The reasons you don't want her to go are all about YOU, not the wonderful cultural and bonding experience your daughter will have with her grandmother. Stop being selfish and let her go!

Innocenta · 07/03/2022 14:37

100% let her go! She'll have a wonderful time, and children have had so many restrictions during the pandemic. It will probably be a near magical experience for her, something she will remember all her life.

ImSaxyAndIKnowIt · 07/03/2022 14:39

My DS has been to America twice with my
Parents to visit family, once when he was 7 and again at 8. We all went together when he was 5 but my job/circumstances have changed so I haven’t been able to afford to go then of course Covid although we’re about to book up for next year!

Anyway my DS had the absolute best time, he still talks about it now. Of course I missed him and he missed me but he truly had the time of his life and I wouldn’t hesitate to let him go again

Madre123 · 07/03/2022 14:41

Let her go x

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 07/03/2022 14:44

Can you compromise with a week?
Holiday with a loving grandparent is great.

DespairingHomeowner · 07/03/2022 14:47

I would … if there are any issues you could be there in half a day so it’s not a massive distance (and why would there be issues)

Ask your mum to be careful re heat/sun but this sounds like a great experience for your daughter, and we cannot assume GPs will always be fit & healthy sadly, or indeed that travel will remain as affordable, so a shame to miss out

Westfacing · 07/03/2022 14:52

A nine year-old to Italy for two weeks with her grandmother would be fine with me. Sounds great - I'm sure DD will love it!

My two sons used to go abroad with their grandparents and I've taken my grandchildren, as has my ex. All works well.

gogohm · 07/03/2022 15:00

I would let her go. Yes it gets warm (32 in July last time I was there) but I'm guessing your mum is sensible in the heat. She will have a great time and learn about her heritage