Breastfeeding: is this a problem?

[Thejoyfulstar]

I live abroad but am from the UK. I has a babyb4 weeks ago who was born with respiratory distress. After 24 hours in NICU she was fine but my milk didn't come in until Day 5 and I suffered from dreadful nipple pain which hindered feeding even more.

My baby was 3460g at birth. She dropped to 3165g at 6 days old. They gave me a plan to breastfeed on demand and supplement with expressed milk or formula but this was though as she didn't want anything extra than my breasts. I was syringing in every bit of expressed milk I could get into her and giving her formula in a bottle, which she often vomited. By Day 9 she was 3220g.

Regrettably I decided that I would then focus on just feeding her from the breast. As far as I could tell, I had milk. I've breastfed 2 other children successfully so thought I knew what I was doing.

I leak milk when I haven't fed in a while. My breasts feel hard and full and after she feeds, the feel soft and empty. I can see by the movement between her ear and jaw that she is drinking, and I can hear it too. Afterwards she is contented and is a very settled, happy and alert baby. I change her nappy every 2 or 3 hours and there is always wee or poo. She sleeps a lot but I wake her if 3 hours go by to feed and she is feeding almost the entire time she is awake. My husband and I have been joking that we feel how heavy and chubby she is getting.

I took her to the paediatrician for her 4 week check today and she is 3550g. He says that is not enough weight gain and I have to give formula. I said could I still breastfeed. He basically said what's the point as I clearly don't have milk.

I am so upset and confused. I was certain that my baby was transferring a good deal of milk. The initial latch is still painful but that was the same in the early days of breastfeeding my other 2. I fed my middle child until she was 1 and never had an issue like this.

I feel like where I am, doctors overreact about things that drs in the UK would not. At the same time I don't want to be so arrogant to think I don't need to take their advice. I feel like I have put my heart and soul into establishing our breastfeeding journey and feel totally floored that is has all been for nothing. Am trying to find an English speaking lactation consultant but am really struggling to do so.

Does anyone ahve any experience of this? I have received such little support despite asking for it and looking for it. I dont know where to go from here.

Wonderful! I'm so so pleased for you. Now you can enjoy this stage as you should.

That's wonderful to read @Thejoyfulstar. I have been in awe of your determination and all round loveliness in your posts. Hope your baby continues to thrive and you feel very, very proud for making that happen.

I was worried about my babies getting enough milk from breastfeeding. I used to take them to a local pharmacy where a nurse saw customers for free and have the bubs weighed every few days to assure myself that they were gaining weight. After I saw the proof of their weight gains, I relaxed and stopped having them weighed

So glad you're feeling better joyfulstar :)

I know I said 'over and out' but I wanted to come back to provide an update in case there are any other poor mothers who are having the same problem, and are as distraught as I was.

Today is exactly 4 weeks from the day that the doctor said my baby wasn't gaining enough weight and advised me to move on to formula. The lactation consultant saved my skin, and although the regime was punishing both physically and mentally, it worked!

Baby feds every 2 hours and 99% of the time, there is ample milk. I have been exclusively breastfeeding and she never seems hungry after a feed, so no tops ups have been needed. Crucially, the biggest indication of how well things are going is the scale. In 4 weeks she has gained 970g, just 30g shy of 1kg. As the original doctor said, the mathematics tell the story. I will never forget all of the encouragement you all gave me and hope that this encourages someone too!

Lovely news! Well done, you got through it!

@Nightwithhertrainofstars thank you, I had really lost hope at one point!

Brilliant!

I was told to judge by amount of wet and dirty nappies and not by weight gain. If enough is coming out then enough must be going in!

My baby is now 8.5 months and has reached the average weight for her age without any formula

Resurrecting a zombie thread with an update!

I'm the OP under a different name. I just wanted to say that my baby has had her first birthday and I am still breastfeeding! My full milk supply came in fully when she was exactly 40 days old. From that point on, I never expressed or gave any formula ever again.

She gained weight quickly week by week and had doubled her birthweight by 5 months. At the time, I was beside myself because I wanted to breastfeed so much and was literally on the brink of giving up. Breastfeeding, pumping and topping up with formula was brutal! Had my milk not have come in at the 11th hour, switching to formula would have been the best choice in our situation, both for the sake of my baby's physical and my mental health. That period of time was unbelievably intense.

The support I received here was phenomenal and really kept me going! And even had things not worked out, the gift of hindsight shows me that motherhood is about far more than the milk you give your baby, and that a happy, thriving baby and mental stable mother are the most important things! I had reached my very limit just as my supply seemed to increase. No matter how it turned out, I wanted to give an update and to say thanks again for all the kindness and support I got.

That's lovely to hear!

Hi OP! That's lovely to hear. I'm so glad that it went so well for you from there on and that you're still going now! I'm about to have DC2 and feeling quite a lot of trepidation about what this bf journey might be like as I faced similar struggles to you with DC1. Hoping it will be plain sailing this time around! And even if it's not I know that barring very extreme circumstances I will keep bf even if I have to combi feed as I feel there are just so many benefits to it in parenting and caring for a baby/toddler. Doctors ordering women to just give up completely and "there's no point in continuing" because there are some issues make steam come out of my ears! Well done to you again for your incredible persistence!

@CatherinedeBourgh @Nightwithhertrainofstars
You were both so kind and helpful and I really felt you with me in those crazy days!

Nightwithhertrainofstars, how exciting! When are you due? My advice would just be to have a lactation consultant already sourced and on standby for the very early days. Looking back, my issue was that my daughter was separated from me for the first 24 hours and the doctor told me not to bother trying to express anything in the meantime. Then when I did first latch her on the next day, the latch was agony, bleeding nipples etc and I avoided feeding her. The hospital staff kept ignoring my requests to see the lactation midwife and to use the hospital pump. Then my baby was very sleepy and I could never wake her to feed for long. This was a recipe for disaster that was only really picked up at 4 weeks.

Had I had started pumping/feeding as soon as I was able and had a professional there to support me straight away, I think things would have been fine from the start. So get support pencilled in before the big day, even if you don't use it.

Now my baby is 1, the Dr here is saying that she needs to eat more solid food as she isn't gaining enough weight (she has rolls on her rolls!). I'm learning to block it out and keep going!

I'm due at the end of March. Eek! Yes, getting the support and expert advice early on is just key. It makes sense what you say about the contributing factors to your supply struggling to get established right at the beginning. Oh my goodness, you still haven't quite escaped the pressure from HCPs.. I think they finally chill out by about 18 months or 2 years at the latest! It is their job I suppose but weight isn't always straightforward, as we know. I'm currently feeling like I have to strictly limit my own pregnancy weight gain because of my OB coming down very hard on me about it.. (not UK, weighed at every appointment..) But I don't want to jeopardize breastfeeding by restricting. Very difficult. Maybe it'll be super easy this time round..

Oh I hear you...my OB was very cross about my weight gain and almost seemed relieved when I was borderline diabetic and had to be very careful. I'm not in the UK either and think there is an obsession with weight! Enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy and I really hope that everything goes smoothly for you!