I have been forced to work from home for two years now and I hate it. I live alone in a tiny flat. Sometimes I don’t see real people for a whole week, except for those I see in Tesco when I do my shopping.
My work is stressful, and I am a people person. I need to decompress, I need to feel like I am part of a team - but I don’t. I feel really isolated, it’s not my team's fault, they are crazy busy like I am. I don’t speak to my colleagues for days sometimes.
I work for the local education authority, I have back to back Teams calls most days with people who have problems and I have loads of paperwork piling up that I can’t do because I’m either taking calls all day, or just frozen with overwhelm and demotivation. I feel isolated and unhappy and all of the stress is within my own home - I have no escape. I feel trapped and it’s horrible.
Should I just carry on working miserably? I don’t think I am doing a particularly good job, which is depressing me. I feel that my reputation must be dwindling with every meeting I’m in, every report that is late. I cry once a week at least. Nobody knows, nobody sees. I put on a smile and a brave face in meetings, or at least I try to.
I want more than anything to do a good job, but I feel so overwhelmed now that I can’t. I am a shadow of the employee I could be.
I feel I need a let up, a chance to catch up with things and step off the relentless treadmill- but if I go off on sick - my reputation at work will be ruined anyway? My self esteem plummet even lower?
There would be nobody else to fill in for me if I am off except for my two colleagues. They won’t be able to recruit anyone to cover for me. So I will be making their jobs so much harder if I take time off.
But - I just don’t know if I can cope with this downward spiral I’m in. Should I just keep putting on a brave face? Can anyone advise?