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Original poster

Reporting a family member to the RSPCA

46 replies

LadyTwinkle · 28/02/2022 16:59

Has anyone ever had to report a family member to the RSPCA? Because I think that's where I'm heading to with my dad. He's an alcoholic and has two dogs. They're both matted and one had severly rotten teeth. He's refused all offers of help. The thing is I know if I report him and he loses the dogs he'll be heart broken. He's all alone apart from them. My brother has cut ties. And I know if I report him it will be the end of our relationship. But at the same time I can't stand by and let him neglect his dogs in the way he does.

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 28/02/2022 17:12

You need to report him. Would he have to know it was you?

GeneLovesJezebel · 28/02/2022 17:14

Yes, report him. He is neglecting his dogs, his needs do not trump those of the dog’s.

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 28/02/2022 17:15

They don't accept anonymous reports. But I don't know if they would tell him it was me.

OP posts:

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Dogs
IsItTooHotInHere · 28/02/2022 17:15

REPORT him. He's severely neglecting his animals. I'd report anyone who ill-treats any animal. It would be better if he did lose his dogs. You have to do what is right for those animals. They can't speak, but you certainly can and should do so.

RedRoseRay · 28/02/2022 17:20

Please stop putting your feelings and the feelings of your abusive father above the feelings of two voiceless animals who need someone to speak up for their welfare. How would you feel if when you were a child he left you with matted hair and rotten teeth and no-one reported it because they prioritised his feelings over your welfare?

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 28/02/2022 17:24

You all saying what I thought you would. And how I feel. Everything you're saying is right.

OP posts:
earsup · 28/02/2022 17:26

is there another charity you could contact..?? rspca will do little and hound you for donations for months...dont give them your details....my sister tried them and regretted reporting a neighbour...8 calls a day and junk mail to get a donation !!

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 28/02/2022 18:37

I looked into the PDSA. But he didn't qualify for help.

OP posts:
withernseawoes · 28/02/2022 18:43

Would he allow you to treat them if you paid for the treatment?

Hoppinggreen · 28/02/2022 18:45

They might actually help and support him to get the dogs proper treatment, plus if they do get involved would it motivate him to sort it out?

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 28/02/2022 18:45

I probably should add that there is a massive backstory regarding my dad and his appalling behaviour. But it's too much to put here. He's very manipulating. I know he's feeding me lies about why he's not getting the dogs help. He manages to afford cigarettes and alcohol daily but not his dogs treatment. Me and my partner have just had a massive argument about my dad. My partner said I would destroy the relationship with my dad if I phoned the RSPCA. I was very upset and ended up walking around the estate in the rain with no coat on. This is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make and not one I've undertaken lightly. I know if I do this it will end the relationship with my dad. But it won't be my fault it will be my dad's.

OP posts:
Unmumsymofo · 28/02/2022 18:46

I actually reported my MIL about 5 years ago for this. Also an alcoholic, animal living in filth every time she went on a bender and family aware of the problem but refusing to rehome. The rspca visited, she didn’t answer the door, they posted a card and never returned. But it gave her a kick up the arse to care for the animals better for a while at least. Of course I was the evil one for a bit but the rest of the family had to agree to rehome the dog the next bender where she wasn’t looking after the dog again because they knew when I threatened to call the rspca , I meant it. Got loads of grief from them about it but they eventually forgave me. I know I did right and I would do it again.

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 28/02/2022 18:46

I offered that and he flat out refused.

OP posts:
fortunenookie · 28/02/2022 18:48

Alongside that serious neglect are they flea treated and wormed ? Vaccination booster? Walked regularly?

Expect not
Sorry but like children, dogs and other pets are innocent and need protecting. I wouldn’t hesitate to report non anonymously

Him feeling lonely and you being concerned they’re his lifeline doesn’t trump the very serious responsibility for caring for them which is not happening.

Not a criticism just the facts I know it’s hard for you

withernseawoes · 28/02/2022 18:48

Definitely report then. It is only the RSPCA with any sort of powers (and even then frankly not much). No other charity would be able to do anything at all without his cooperation.

withernseawoes · 28/02/2022 18:49

And of course they won't tell him who reported him. Even before data protection laws they wouldn't have, and now, not a chance, they would be in serious trouble if they did.

cushioncovers · 28/02/2022 18:52

Please be an advocate for those animals. They can't defend themselves. The rspca won't give your dad your name.

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 28/02/2022 18:54

Fortunately my brother supports me in contacting the RSPCA and my dad isn't in contact with anyone else in his family. (Which amounts to one brother and a 90 year old aunt he never sees.) It's my partner and his dad that seem against me phoning the RSPCA.

OP posts:
Beachsidesunset · 28/02/2022 19:46

If I can report my sister to the NSPCC for neglecting my niece (she never found out who it was) you can report him. Those poor dogs.

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 01/03/2022 09:10

Just to let you all know that I phoned the RSPCA and reported my dad first thing this morning. I was really nervous but the lady I spoke to was lovely. I also sent some photos that I'd managed to take of the dogs teeth.

I want to thank you all for giving me the kick up the bum and courage I needed to make the call. You helped me see I was making the right decision no matter how hard it was.

OP posts:
Stillafatknacker · 01/03/2022 09:19

You have definitely done the right thing, poor dogs Sad

fortunenookie · 01/03/2022 09:34

You have done the right thing for them

GordenBennett · 01/03/2022 10:03

Well done @LadyTwinkle, you really have done the right thing

longtompot · 01/03/2022 10:26

Well done for speaking on behalf of those dogs. I hope they get the help they need. It's very odd your partner is so concerned about your relationship being ruined with your dad if you reported him. Does he have a particularly good relationship with him?

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 01/03/2022 10:30

I reported my bff years ago. And also to the rescue she got wjr ddog from.
Ddog was removed the next day.
She never knew it was me.
Well done op.
Animals need a voice. Your df is a big boy.

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