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Original poster

Reporting a family member to the RSPCA

46 replies

LadyTwinkle · 28/02/2022 16:59

Has anyone ever had to report a family member to the RSPCA? Because I think that's where I'm heading to with my dad. He's an alcoholic and has two dogs. They're both matted and one had severly rotten teeth. He's refused all offers of help. The thing is I know if I report him and he loses the dogs he'll be heart broken. He's all alone apart from them. My brother has cut ties. And I know if I report him it will be the end of our relationship. But at the same time I can't stand by and let him neglect his dogs in the way he does.

OP posts:
IsItTooHotInHere · 01/03/2022 11:59

LadyTwinkle Well done. I've reported people in the past. Hopefully, the RSPCA will act quickly and get proper treatment for the dogs.

Lou98 · 01/03/2022 12:10

I'm glad you reported. I'm a dog groomer and I hate when dogs come in matted solid with obvious health problems such as teeth but it just falls on deaf ears with the owners. Matting is extremely painful for dogs - imagine someone following you about all day pulling your hair, no relief as they don't stop even for a second.

Unfortunately, when groomers report, having them groomed is seen as a step towards helping the dog so they can't do anything, never mind the fact they'll come once a year so you know they'll be in that state again in a couple months time

thereisonlyoneofme · 01/03/2022 14:29

The teeth thing would have me phoning the RSPCA alone, I rescued my dog from a puppy breeding establishment, the state of her mouth had to be seen to be believed, plaque covering whole teeth, teeth missing, ulcerated gums, and she never showed any sign of pain. Shes only got 3 teeth left now.

So hope RSPCA will at least visit now if they dont do anything else

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Madmog · 01/03/2022 14:44

You can't leave animals suffering as they've got no control over it whatsoever. Hope you're ok OP - you know you've made the right decision, but not an easy one.

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 01/03/2022 14:58

It's a bit of an anxious wait now. I wish I'd asked how long it might take for them to send someone out. I really hope they do send someone out to see them. I highly doubt my dad would tell me that he's had a visit from the RSPCA. But if he suddenly springs into action or the dogs disappear I'll know they've been.

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 01/03/2022 15:13

@longtompot

Well done for speaking on behalf of those dogs. I hope they get the help they need. It's very odd your partner is so concerned about your relationship being ruined with your dad if you reported him. Does he have a particularly good relationship with him?
No, but he knows me, my daughter and the dogs are all my dad has. Though my dad makes zero effort with us. He would never see us if I didn't arrange and instigate meet ups. My partner said if my dad loses the dogs it will probably kill him (and to be fair that's not completely untrue.) But I don't think that won't be my fault. I've offered to help my dad with the dogs and he's refused. I think my partner thought we should try and talk to my dad and persuade him take the dog to the vet. But I know my dad. He'll lie and manipulate and tell you what you want to hear then do absolutely nothing. I was hurt at the accusation that by reporting my dad to the RSPCA that effectively killed him. It was a really hard decision to make and I needed my partner's support rather than condemnation. Though his parents have since told me I've done the right thing.
OP posts:
REP22 · 01/03/2022 15:24

Just wanted to send you best wishes. You've done the right thing, as hard as it was.

As well as for the dogs', but also your father's, health. My experience of such things is that the dogs are probably toileting in the house at times, and that will ultimately seriously impact on the health of all, including your dad, physically anyway.

It's an utterly wretched situation to be in and no part of it is your fault. You have not created any of it. You really have done the right thing.

Every good wish to you. x

RedRoseRay · 01/03/2022 15:44

Well done @LadyTwinkle. You did the right thing, if only more people did the right thing when it came to animal care.

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 03/03/2022 22:38

Just to give you all an update, the RSPCA went and visited my dad this afternoon. He knew as soon as the lady said they'd had a report about a dog with bad teeth, that it was me who'd phoned them. Anyway they are working with him to get the dog the help she needs. It sounds like it's the RSPCA who are the ones making all the arrangements with the vets regarding treatment. There's a voucher they can give him towards the costs too. I'm pleased he's working with them and that he's not angry at me for getting them involved.

OP posts:
ElsieLappin · 04/03/2022 08:24

Well done @LadyTwinkle, you certainly did the right thing

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 04/03/2022 09:31

When he realises his ddog's quality of life is improved he will be grateful I imagine. Well done op. Not just people who need someone speaking out for them.

cushioncovers · 04/03/2022 09:53

Well done op. This is all about helping your dad to help his animals.

REP22 · 04/03/2022 09:54

Thank you for the update. That's really good to hear.

Very best wishes to you. xx

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 10/03/2022 15:29

So my dad took the dog to the vets yesterday, and she's now been booked in to have her teeth sorted out. They gave him a free consultation so he can put the RSPCA voucher towards the procedure instead. The vets have also agreed to a payment plan with my dad (which should only take him 3 months to pay off anyway.) My dad has also booked both dogs into be groomed too. So although it was a really horrible thing I had to do, I'm really pleased with the outcome of all this. It appears to have finally given my dad the wake up call he needed. Even if the message was a bit slow to get through. And he seems to be making more of an effort.

OP posts:
ThisBloodyNoiseInMyHead · 10/03/2022 15:40

I'm glad your dad is now going to get the dogs sorted out. RSPCA regularly helps out in that way, if possible. I once reported a bloke for a similar thing (I worked as a carer then) and RSPCA did the same thing. The man actually thanked me for ringing RSPCA.

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 10/03/2022 16:16

@ThisBloodyNoiseInMyHead

I'm glad your dad is now going to get the dogs sorted out. RSPCA regularly helps out in that way, if possible. I once reported a bloke for a similar thing (I worked as a carer then) and RSPCA did the same thing. The man actually thanked me for ringing RSPCA.
I'm glad that things had a positive outcome in your case too @ThisBloodyNoiseInMyHead My dad actually said he was glad and relieved that I'd call the RSPCA. I actually thought that was a strange response at first. Because I'd be ashamed and embarrassed if someone had done that to me. But I guess from my dad's point of view it gave him the help he needed without him having to borrow money.
OP posts:
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 10/03/2022 17:11

And best of all the ddogs get to stay with their owner who really can put them first from now on!!

Ellmau · 10/03/2022 17:31

Well done, OP, I'm so pleased there is a happy ending.

Original poster
LadyTwinkle · 10/03/2022 17:48

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

And best of all the ddogs get to stay with their owner who really can put them first from now on!!
I know lots of people would probably disagree, but I'm glad the dogs have got to stay with my dad too. Despite everything I know he loves them. And they are really attached to him too. I really hope that this has shocked him to changing his ways for good.
OP posts:
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 10/03/2022 18:07

Some people neglect themselves and don't even realise. Glad your df hasn't lost his ddogs. And you should be proud of yourself that you put their suffering before a human's feelings.Must have been tough.

Honeyroar · 10/03/2022 18:12

You absolutely did the right thing, and it can’t have been easy, so very well done. A great result for the dogs. 👏👏

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