Have you ever just left when your DC weren’t ready on time ?

[PurpleHollyhocks]

Just that really, DH has now decided on a zero tolerance strategy and just left without our DD.

I wonder if there's any link between the people who are perpetually late as adults and the ones that never had any consequences applied for dawdling as children?

At 11 i was getting the bus to school. There was no need for parents to apply consequences....bus missed=late to school. late to school for no good reason=detention. from around age 8/9 I was walking to primary school alone and again late to school meant trouble but not detentions. We were reminded on a sunday to get ready for the week but I don't think we were ever whooshed or needed it.

No but I've taken 6 year old niece to school in her knickers. She refused to get dressed, we were late so I shoved her clothes in the backseat, picked her up and put her in the car as she was. She made it as far as the garage door closing behind us before she got dressed.

Yes. Twice.
Never on the occasions that DD was dragging her heels because she didn't actually want to go. In those situations I don't know what to do other than get mad.

She was late for a hobby once as wouldn't hurry to get ready on time.
Thought I wouldn't repeat for school as 'school is too important and I'll tell them you left me' but I left otherwise I would've been late for work.
Has never been late for either since on my watch.
She's 16 now and her time management is much better.

@TakingTheLowRoad

Both event and where he has to go to afterwards (school) are almost two hours away -we can't afford to do the journey up and down twice, either separately or together. We suggested he comes with us and stays with a relative but he's refusing to get up. He's already had to pay the cost of two tickets and we've sent all three tickets to another family member for him to attend instead. But now we're all sitting in the house quietly seething with each other. And dreading later when he will have to get up and go back to school.

he's 16, why are you sat there seething? And definitely why are you dreading? He pays you back for the tickets, that's a given, he takes the flack for not being at school when he should, or he gets himself there and pays for the transport and you go out for lunch somewhere nice. Choices have consequences.

@Examsrus

Tough love within reason is good as teaches consequences of actions. My DP is tardy as well and we have missed a plane once!

My dh used to fly a lot for work, and I swear positively relished arriving in the nick of time, charging along with ‘last call’ flashing, etc.

All very well when it was just him, but when I was going too I would get so wound up when he refused to allow for heavy traffic, hold-ups, etc.

Until the time a major road on our route was closed because of a serious accident, and we only made it (an early flight) by the skin of our teeth.

After that, I insisted on plenty of time, and if an early one, staying at an airport hotel that chucked in free parking the night before. Comparatively blissfully relaxed!

I have. But my parents used to threaten that with my brother and never carry it through. So he knew he had us completely as he wanted.
A typical time would go: Mum comes and says she is going to X, if we want to come then we need to leave by, say 10am.
At 10:15 we're about to get in the car when dbro appears saying he wants to go too. So dm says we'll leave at half past. At 10:30 dbro is still in the shower.
At 11:00 he appears dressed but can't go until he's eaten.
We finally leave about 11:30... and arrive to find what we were going for is mostly over. He then moans that he got up and it was boring.

That was from about age 10yo onwards.
I always reckoned that if we'd left once without him it would probably have solved it.
So when one of mine began to do the "oh I'm just getting up" when I'd knocked half an hour ago then I gave 5 minutes and got in the car and left. I did drop the others and come back and get her (10 minutes away so she was then 30 minutes late) but now they know I will go, and not had a problem since.

Yes, at 11 she is old enough. I’m sure I did it much earlier!

You sound far too soft. He sounds sensible.

Once with DC aged 14. If we don’t leave at a certain time, they miss the bus which gets them to school in time and I’m late for work.

DC came out to the car late, sibling was already sitting in the front seat, child said ‘I’m not going then’ (expecting me to chuck DC out of front seat so they could sit there, beg cajole etc) I said ‘fine’ and drove away.

DH took them to the bus a bit later when he took the other DC to school, they were late and hated it. Haven’t had to do it again. I think it was a really important lesson for two reasons, a) don’t sick around and make other people late b) I mean what I say and follow through!