Changing my surname

[Hopetobeamumof4]

Hi girls,

This sounds a bit odd I think but I wondered what the general opinion is? I’m still married and have my exes surname still. We have been split for a good while and am about to start a divorce. I’m with a new partner and we are having a baby in July and getting married in summer 2023. I want to have my partners surname when my baby is born. Is it weird if I change my name to his surname is that when the baby is born we will both have the same surnames on the birth certificate? We’d be getting married next summer anyway so my name would be changing then anyway. Is this weird? 😂 x

Just to clarify. My fiancé has a daughter who has his surname so he won’t be changing his surname. I don’t want to keep my exes surname despite it being my children’s names as that doesn’t feel right. And as for the previous poster saying my ex husband has parental rights over my baby well it’s a step too far. Thanks for all you input, I certainly have things to consider but I think I’ll be opting out of this now.

I had a friend who changed to her partners name, then changed back to her own name before the wedding as she wanted to give married vows in her maiden name. The whole trail has to be put on your marriage certificate, so hers said something like Lisa Smith formerly known as Lisa Jones formerly known as Lisa Smith.

So you might want to bear that in mind. If you are happy to give marriage vows as Lisa Jones to become Lisa Jones, then carry on and change it now.

@skyeisthelimit thanks for this. I did consider that as it sounds silly 😂 thank you

The ex husband has no parental rights over another mans baby. The father is the one with parental rights and only if married to the mother or named on the birth certificate.

www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/who-has-parental-responsibility

@skyeisthelimit my ex husband for sure does not have parental rights over this baby! Thank you

@AnotherEmma

You probably won't even be divorced by the time your baby is born, and I think that means your husband will have parental responsibility despite not being the father (the law assumes the mother's husband is the father).

I don't think that's true, because OP's ex is not the father. As long as OP's fiancé comes along to the registration of the birth, he will be named on the birth certificate and have parental responsibility.

Totally agree with earlier comments that women should keep their names on marriage and give said names to children. Given that women are much more likely to be primary caregivers, it just makes sense!

@HootOwl what the everloving fuck are you on about? Anyone can change their name whenever. Just do a free deed poll online. Need exes permission Jesus Christ.

TheSmallAssassin
"I don't think that's true, because OP's ex is not the father. As long as OP's fiancé comes along to the registration of the birth, he will be named on the birth certificate and have parental responsibility."
Yes that makes sense.

"It is presumed in law that if you are married at the time of your child’s birth your child is the biological child of your husband."
rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/parental-responsibility/

This is why it's important for the partner/fiancé to register the birth with the mother to ensure he is recorded as the father and gets parental responsibility.

So, you don’t think your man should change his name as he has a daughter? So why are you changing your name to his? Please think how your first children will think about this. Although they might say it’s fine, they are probably lovely children, but it may hurt. My friend had this and it still hurts to this day.

[quote 1smallhamsterfoot]@HootOwl what the everloving fuck are you on about? Anyone can change their name whenever. Just do a free deed poll online. Need exes permission Jesus Christ.[/quote]
Nope. If you're still married you need your spouse's permission. Page 2, 3rd subheading.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/964986/loc019-adult-eng.pdf

Here:

[quote 1smallhamsterfoot]@HootOwl what the everloving fuck are you on about? Anyone can change their name whenever. Just do a free deed poll online. Need exes permission Jesus Christ.[/quote]
Please refrain from misleading posters asking for advice and writing such rude comments to other posters about things that you have no knowledge about.

@HootOwl only if you want to pay to register it with the court of justice which is totally unnecessary. I changed mine with a free deed poll off the Internet against my ex husbands will. He could do nothing as it is nothing to do with him. My name change is legal and accepted by everywhere.