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Original poster

Talk to me about real life outside London

760 replies

Herewegoagain84 · 25/02/2022 13:36

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

OP posts:
fleurpots · 27/02/2022 12:01

@fleurpots

People always talk about the ease of getting places in London due to the public transport, and public transport is great in London. But during peak tourist times/rush hour it's bloody awful trying to get anywhere in my experience - I used to live in Zone 2 and it could be a twenty five minute door to door trip to the strand, but if it was busy it would turn into an hour long slog of standing on a crowded platform not being able to get on until the fifth tube, squashed between strangers, and then standing like sardines on the actual tube (or bus). I can't even imagine what it would have been like with a family and all that paraphernalia in tow!

Although I do appreciate that cars are expensive, there can be traffic, and it can be be difficult to get parked, I personally find it much easier to get places outside of London - even if there is traffic at least I have my own space, and there's plenty of room to keep extra coats/prams/etc.

I am speaking from a perspective of living in a market town nearish a large city - not extremely remote so appreciate it is different for others.
x2boys · 27/02/2022 12:03

@liveforsummer

Non of this is unique to London though ,I live in a large town in the northwest

There are plenty areas you won't find it though. I grew up in the Scottish Borders and even in the larger towns you wouldn't have fond and still wouldn't find a black hairdressers and the demographic is mostly white British although that's changed a little slowly over time

Of course ,which is why I said it depends on the demographics of the area ,but it's not unique to London at all
PriamFarrl · 27/02/2022 12:06

@liveforsummer

Non of this is unique to London though ,I live in a large town in the northwest

There are plenty areas you won't find it though. I grew up in the Scottish Borders and even in the larger towns you wouldn't have fond and still wouldn't find a black hairdressers and the demographic is mostly white British although that's changed a little slowly over time

This is it though. So many people talk as if there is London and not-London and that everywhere that isn’t London is one place. They live in one town/village/area that doesn’t have a certain thing and declare that it’s impossible to have that thing outside London. The Scottish highlands will be different to central Manchester, Leicester, a Norfolk village, the Cotswolds. All of those places will have things you can and can’t do or get.
Neurodiversitydoctor · 27/02/2022 12:08

Ex-Londoner here, we moved 14years ago. As with most things there are good and bad points:

Good;
DS has played football on grass every weekend since he was 6
The village primary school had a huge field with trees to climb and an outdoor swimming pool (They swam every day in school from May- Oct)
Dd learnt to ride from aged 4 very cheaply 5 minutes from the house
I can run on the Sea front on a Sunday morning
We have a much bigger house than we could ever have afforded in London
This allowed me to work pt until DC2 was 8

Bad points
Only 1 cinema in walking distance and crap public transport so v. little choice of films especially for teens.
Less exciting and varried restaurants also stop serving at 8:30 Or 9 !
Less choice of Theatre
Ditto live music although there is some of both.
Very personal but I miss the Thames.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 27/02/2022 12:09

I live in Kent not Maidstone but similar.

KalaniM · 27/02/2022 12:11

It’s about the loss of a sense of scope. The loss of a sense of endless possibilities. The fear of cultural claustrophobia.

It’s enriching to be in an environment where people are doing hugely diverse activities, and to be part of that creative movement, just by being there.

It isn’t really a London Bubble. It’s that one of the worlds premier capitals is a genuine buzz that is tough to match.

Honestly, people love to visit NY and Paris, etc… people don’t flock to Ohio or Nantes. Even though the quality of life there might be great.

DomesticatedZombie · 27/02/2022 12:19

That comment suggests you have already lost a sense of scope Kalani.

BarbaraofSeville · 27/02/2022 12:19

@PriamFarrl

Can we have a list of things that according to this thread don’t exist outside London.

LGBT people (don’t tell Brighton or Hebden Bridge)
Traffic lights.
Any good food.
Takeaways
Haricot beans
Tahini
Brown rice

Adds specialist afro hairdressing to list of things not available outside London.

I don't think anyone's claiming that you can find absolutely everything available in London in every other area of the country and we all know that if move to the rural Scottish borders and need a hairdresser experienced in afro hair, you're going to have to travel some distance, but if you compare like with like ie, another large city, of which there are many, then it's not just London where you can obtain these services and find several options within a short distance.

cheapskatemum · 27/02/2022 12:22

Apologies in advance: I haven't read the whole thread. I hope OP is still reading replies. We moved from London to mid-Suffolk 15 years ago with DSs aged 14.12.11 & 8. DS2 has significant disabilities. Other 3 play football & were soon able to get involved in local club teams: training, league games etc. Being rural, some sports & activities were more accessible eg horse riding. Swimming about the same as in London. Things are more widely spaced, but there's less traffic, so on balance take about the same amount of time to get to, for example getting to a gym. Buses are few & far between, but trains to nearest cities are regular & take about half an hour, plus 10 minute drive to station. We're 40 minutes from the coast, so sea swimming, beach & flying kites all possible, weather permitting. Myriad country walks, if you don't mind mud in the winter & hay fever at other times of the year. Jogging is popular. Esoteric sports, such as indoor sky-diving are just not available locally. DS2 was able to access generic play schemes for children with disabilities and also swimming, sailing and horse-riding. This is our family experience, I hope it helps.

crispsinasandwich · 27/02/2022 12:27

@Noideaatall

I totally understand what you're asking. (I'm also a Londoner) However I think some of the answers given here might have unintentionally given you an insight into life outside... Grin
Exactly! Previously lived in London - moved out as I wanted children but still miss London! Saw a friend in London yesterday - London in the summer is gorgeous!
PriamFarrl · 27/02/2022 12:29

Exactly! Previously lived in London - moved out as I wanted children but still miss London! Saw a friend in London yesterday - London in the summer is gorgeous!

London might have a lot of things but it doesn’t have different seasons to the rest of us. It’s still winter there too.

DiamondBright · 27/02/2022 12:43

I live in a largish town (15 minutes walk to the town centre) and a short drive (20 minutes) to a city, there's plenty to do for people of all ages, and equally easy access to the countryside for walks, quaint villages and country pubs. We have numerous stately homes and National Trust properties close by. Other towns and cities are also within easy reach with all their activities and events.

The world doesn't begin and end in London.

merrymouse · 27/02/2022 12:52

@PriamFarrl

Exactly! Previously lived in London - moved out as I wanted children but still miss London! Saw a friend in London yesterday - London in the summer is gorgeous!

London might have a lot of things but it doesn’t have different seasons to the rest of us. It’s still winter there too.

Come on - I know some people rave about Spaghetti Junction, but to really appreciate summer you can’t beat the North Circular past IKEA in August.
Pmen · 27/02/2022 12:53

Some not very nice replies on here to what seems to be a nice and reasonable question

SmudgeButt · 27/02/2022 12:55

Reminds me of the time a stranger heard my accent and asked me if there were roads in Canada.

merrymouse · 27/02/2022 12:57

The fear of cultural claustrophobia.

I can assure you this exists in London, as demonstrated on this thread.

DiamondBright · 27/02/2022 12:59

What I've noticed people do when they move out of London/SE into "the north" is they buy a house in a new(ish) build estate near the motorway junction so they can easily speed back down to visit relatives, and they then find they aren't in town, there's not much to do in the nearby villages (although they'll have all the usual play groups, pubs, brownies etc.) and they then have to drive everywhere.

If you want to be entertained with activities and events and you want your dc to take swimming and dance classes and you want to be able to walk there, if you want a regular bus service, you need to buy a house close to a town and not a village or a commuter estate near the motorway.

Like any house move you need to consider if the location meets your needs.

merrymouse · 27/02/2022 12:59

@Pmen

Some not very nice replies on here to what seems to be a nice and reasonable question
It’s not a reasonable question though, because the OP hasn’t explained what they value and prioritise.

Honestly, anyone who thinks London is one thing and the rest of the country is another really doesn’t know London well at all.

crispsinasandwich · 27/02/2022 13:00

@PriamFarrl

Exactly! Previously lived in London - moved out as I wanted children but still miss London! Saw a friend in London yesterday - London in the summer is gorgeous!

London might have a lot of things but it doesn’t have different seasons to the rest of us. It’s still winter there too.

It does - but in the summer it's gorgeous.

Lots of VERY defensive non Londoners on here. And I say that as a non- Londoner.

OP - you might want to stay in London - and I'll be jealous from afar Wink

crispsinasandwich · 27/02/2022 13:02

Meant to say - it does have winter - nobody is saying it doesn't.

This thread is a classic "mumsnetters deliberately misinterpreting OP just to show how clever they think they are".

cakeorwine · 27/02/2022 13:04

It does - but in the summer it's gorgeous

Lots of places are gorgeous in summer.

Have the tubes got air-con yet?

cakeorwine · 27/02/2022 13:05

@crispsinasandwich

Meant to say - it does have winter - nobody is saying it doesn't.

This thread is a classic "mumsnetters deliberately misinterpreting OP just to show how clever they think they are".

If someone asked about 'real life outside London', that is kind of asking for some comments about life and what it's like outside London.
merrymouse · 27/02/2022 13:06

This thread is a classic "mumsnetters deliberately misinterpreting OP just to show how clever they think they are".

But there is no way to answer the OP’s question honestly and helpfully without pointing out it’s flawed premise.

PriamFarrl · 27/02/2022 13:06

@crispsinasandwich

Meant to say - it does have winter - nobody is saying it doesn't.

This thread is a classic "mumsnetters deliberately misinterpreting OP just to show how clever they think they are".

Saw a friend in London yesterday - London in the summer is gorgeous!

That implies that yesterday in London it was summer. In London, like the rest of the country, it was winter. You could say London on a sunny day is gorgeous, as it was a sunny day yesterday.

Pluvia · 27/02/2022 13:08

@KalaniM

It’s about the loss of a sense of scope. The loss of a sense of endless possibilities. The fear of cultural claustrophobia.

It’s enriching to be in an environment where people are doing hugely diverse activities, and to be part of that creative movement, just by being there.

It isn’t really a London Bubble. It’s that one of the worlds premier capitals is a genuine buzz that is tough to match.

Honestly, people love to visit NY and Paris, etc… people don’t flock to Ohio or Nantes. Even though the quality of life there might be great.

Honestly, people love to visit NY and Paris,

Yup, we love to visit Paris and New York and London and enjoy the buzz and then return to our human-scale towns and cities and breathe a sigh of relief that we don't have to spend our lives on buses and tubes and stuck in traffic on the North Circular or dealing with the latest Hackney stabbing.

The 'we're part of the creative movement just by being there' bit is a massive giveaway, isn't it? 'We don't actually do anything creative or unusual, but we hang around in hip places and that makes us feel hip and cool.'

You'd be amazed, by the way, by the number of Mumsnetters who visit Paris and New York and hate them.