Talk to me about real life outside London

[Herewegoagain84]

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

Oh and while here in Zone 3 London I might be in walking distance to a swimming pool, cinema and a scout hut - I am not in walking distance of a decent large supermarket or shopping mall.

I see an exhibition about once a week or once a fortnight. Tomorrow I’m catching the Durer, next week I’m seeing the Raphael and there’s a new exhibition at the Barbican of modern British starting March 3. We go to the theatre once or twice a month. (Doesn’t have to be the west end, as there are many small theatres). Concerts the same, except that 2 local churches have weekly concerts from professional musicians and we sometimes go every week.

The OP hasn’t explained whether any of this is important to them. It would be helpful if they did, because then you could weigh up living in a place known for its culture with a good train link to London, but with slightly cheaper houses. With no idea of budget it’s impossible to say.

the idea you have to get on tube for everything is not how I think a lot of families experience living in London

Exactly. I lived in various parts of London including Wimbledon. I did have a car but got public transport free with my job so had a myriad options including an easy walk into Wimbledon village or town. I wouldn’t need to get on a tube for a swimming lesson or birthday party.

I don’t know why these threads have to descend to into such vitriol about other places - whether that be London or outside London. I now live in a town just on the outskirts of London and it has many failings but also many upsides. I would prefer that it had a bit more London to it to be honest but it was a pragmatic choice based on house prices, transportation links etc. I can be in Central London in 40 minutes. I think it’s reasonable for someone who has only ever lived in London to wonder what my life looks like now here versus my life in Wimbledon. Or to wonder what village life is like - it wouldn’t kill some people to actually provide some information.

Ok, there are lots of parks in London, that's true - but, they are full of PEOPLE.

Made us realise that we like going to our parks and woods and beaches and there being no one there. We live in a small city.

For Zone 3 you definitely need a car.

Same shit you are doing now but with much more disposable income.

Do make sure you spare a couple of hours for their coal mining/chimney sweep jobs on a weekend though. Very important up north.

And bring your big coats.

Crickey the jokes about working in t’pit and flat caps etc are getting a bit tedious. And I’m a northerner who’s lived up here all my life.

@vivariumvivariumsvivaria

Ok, there are lots of parks in London, that's true - but, they are full of PEOPLE.

Made us realise that we like going to our parks and woods and beaches and there being no one there. We live in a small city.

That’s only true of the central London parks.

@JaninaDuszejko

Londoners go on and on about not needing a car but personally I'd rather drive somewhere than take public transport. I suppose it's what you are used to but I really don't see why having to take the filthy tube for an hour to get anywhere is any better than a drive in a car. Life with children is busy and my relatives in London with DC aren't benefitting from all the world class culture, they are spending hours on the tube taking their DC to swimming classes, birthday parties in church halls, etc etc. I was doing the same activities in my bustling northern town but the difference was the swimming pool is a 2 min drive away and even going to the church hall on the other side of town is just a 10 min drive.

Where on earth do they live in London that they have to spend hours on a tube to get to a swimming pool?!

The reality is most people don’t spend hours ferrying their kids around by public transport because so much is within walking distance or a 10 minute trip on the bus. Today we will walk to tennis lessons, then it’s 10 minutes on the bus to football. Tomorrow swimming is a short walk away.

And if we do get the tube into town it’s the highlight of the kids week, they love it!

I think it’s reasonable for someone who has only ever lived in London to wonder what my life looks like now here versus my life in Wimbledon. Or to wonder what village life is like - it wouldn’t kill some people to actually provide some information.

But your life living in somewhere just outside London is only going to represent that place, and my life living in a village is not going to be the same as that of somebody living in a village 200 miles away.

I would say that my life now is similar to my life living in SW London, but that is because my life in SW London was always focused on things you could do on the Thames and in the parks and commons.

That is completely irrelevant to people who live in other parts of london or who enjoy different activities.

And let’s not forget a lot of northern towns are far from bustling. People banging on about how great the North is probably don’t live in the areas that MNetters warn us about lol They can afford to live in places like York and Harrogate, the dales, Knutsford, Chapel Allerton or wherever is a nice m/c enclave.

Tatiana Zone 3 probably doesn't need a car but I would probably save hours of time wasting if I had one. And I wouldn't have to put up with other people and their smelly food, loud gadgets and general annoyingness

The worst thing about London is there is only about 5 branches of B+M Store. You outside people don't know how lucky you are

Up to you but I need a car and I’m zone 2. London is massive.

Swimming pools and kids parties in London would be a walk away IME... that's what makes them local

My pool in my town is 15 minutes walk (just checked, BILs nearest pool in Wood Green is 35 mins walk or 10 min drive from their house and is not as big a pool as we have). I have 3 DC who all swim but are different levels so need to be at the pool at different times on the same day. 15 minutes walk each way is a pain to do multiple times in a day and so we do the 2 min drive. Feels easier and more local than BILs options.

Tatiana oh I would love a car. Unfortunately I can't afford one at the moment and foolishly never actually learned to drive.
When I am on the tube my brain sings along with the rhythm of it "I wish I had a car, I wish I had a car, I wish I had a car...."

I don't have a car or need one, and I'm zone 2

I think the advantages of living outside London for me would be that I could live near a beach or the countryside and take advantages of all that that offer. I would love to live (and did live) in a seaside town and one day, when my children have left home, and I don't need to work, I might look into getting a bolt hole by the sea again.

You can get a bigger house for your money, but for me that wasn't enough of an advantage on its own.

I think if I live in a city then it may as well be London with all the things it has to offer. (and for me I have little choice as my work is in London and commuting doesn't work for me).

@Legoisthebest

Tatiana oh I would love a car. Unfortunately I can't afford one at the moment and foolishly never actually learned to drive. When I am on the tube my brain sings along with the rhythm of it "I wish I had a car, I wish I had a car, I wish I had a car...."

And if you had one you'd be sitting in it cursing parking charges, congestion charge and traffic jams

MrsPelligrino that's is so true.... I probably would

We live on an estate on outskirts of a small town in the midlands .

We have good public transport and easy access to a large city. We also have very easy access to the countryside - the most local countryside is 15 mins drive and you could walk if you wanted a good long walk.

Within 20 mins drive we have 3 cinemas, 2 leisure centres, bowling alley, indoor mini golf.

Umpteen sporting opportunities - dance/gymnastics classes, 2 tennis clubs (or free courts in the park), 3 small cricket clubs with children's teams, weekend football teams on every piece of green grass in the area (there are a lot) plus 2 facilities with all weather pitches that youngsters can hire to play with their friends .

We still have public libraries - there used to be activities weekly for pre-schoolers but I don't know what happened about those during Covid. When DS was young there were also several soft play places and things like laser quest and the trampoline parks .

Decent schools plus several private nurseries .

If you want museums these are available in nearby large city (easy access)

Plenty of local parks and public transport so teens can be independent .

In surrounding country areas we have lots of lovely pubs (there are also some in the local town but not very nice), plus if you go nearer to the city there are more upmarket restaurants plus the usual chain ones .

@Herewegoagain84

There are a lot of useful replies on here - thank you! Of course I realise London is a ridiculous bubble, but it definitely makes you feel like you’re jumping off a ledge by leaving - even though I rationally know that won’t be the case. I guess the thread also highlights peoples’ hostility towards Londoners too perhaps! Our children are 2 and 5 (with one on the way) - I imagine moving out more rurally and having much more space, especially outdoors, but perhaps near enough to a town that it doesn’t feel entirely isolated. Any recommendations for family friendly areas (with all the activities mentioned and good schools) very welcome!

I don't think the thread highlights hostility towards Londoners so much as a defence against the way the OP was written suggesting everywhere outside of London was the same and that you didn't expect there to be anything for your family to do . You have to admit that the way it was written was rather goady- even if that wasn't your intention .

Stay in London. We have loads of southerners moving up here with their loads of money and it's pushing the house prices up. Thanks

I miss the intricacy of London and its diversity. DS2 lives there and when we visit he is always taking us off to tiny new restaurants he's discovered down narrow alleyways or in hidden away squares. Same with amazing cocktail bars, cafes, local clothes-makers and chocolatiers. He seems to know everyone starting up a small business in London. I miss the brilliant theatre and art too. We get good indie music locally but the theatre is a bit disappointing and world-class art shows come around only once every eight years or so. That's what I miss. The cultural buzz of London.

@ufucoffee

Stay in London. We have loads of southerners moving up here with their loads of money and it's pushing the house prices up. Thanks

Dear lord, I know. House prices are going mad - 25% of buyers are moving up here from the South East. I know in some northern cities it's even more.

I’m a Londoner but this is ridiculousness, and what gives us a bad name.