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Friends mum incredibly rude… WWYD

32 replies

1988TBT · 24/02/2022 12:22

I have a friend… he fell out with me about a year ago over something small and called me some pretty nasty things, we have since made it up… it’s not the same as before but it’s good enough, we weren’t absolute besties anyway so it’s no drama and I’m fine with the level the friendship is at. He has a male partner and they have children at the same school as mine, so before anyone asks it’s nothing relationship or sexual related that went on.

He txts me a fair amount, social checking in etc and sometimes arranging to meet up, both our lives have changed in different ways since covid and it’s not always possible, but it’s clear he would like to be more social etc,

However he had obviously told his mum about the ‘to do’ last year and his mum has I guess understandably sided with her son. I see his mum approx 3-4 times a week on the school run and we used to have a chat etc and at the very least always smile and wave.

Well now his mum literally completely looks me dead pan in the eye and blanks me or worse still gives me a dirty look. I find it so incredibly rude that I feel like telling the friend unless his mum changes her attitude then I’m not really interested in pursuing the friendship. It doesn’t intimidate me but I just cannot believe the rudeness of the mum.

What say you?

OP posts:
Susu49 · 24/02/2022 12:24

If that's what you want to do then you're within your rights to do so.

ThatsNotMyGolem · 24/02/2022 12:24

When you pass her, narrow your eyes, flick her the bird, and whisper "fuck you".

Eyeofthenorm · 24/02/2022 12:26

That's well rude. Be as rude as you like in return.

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AlternativePerspective · 24/02/2022 12:27

Hardly surprising this appears to be happening in the school playground. Hmm

Seriously, “my friend’s mum ignores me so I’m going to say to him that either his mum speaks to me or I don’t want to be friends.” Grow up.

If you want to be friends with the man, be friends with him. He’s an adult, and his mum is not obliged to speak to you just because you’re friends with her son.

You’re all supposed to be adults, act like them.

1988TBT · 24/02/2022 12:34

Dear ‘Alternative perspective’ thats a perfect name for an excuse to just be rude to others. Are you having a bad day?! 😂

OP posts:
Iamnotamermaid · 24/02/2022 12:34

Another option is to completely ignore it, go up to her face to face, all smiles, wish her good morning/afternoon etc and make her feel uncomfortable with her behaviour.

Don't stoop to her level of immaturity....your friendship is with her son, not her so not a bid deal. She is just rude - one on many.

1988TBT · 24/02/2022 12:36

@Iamnotamermaid yes thats the approach I’ve been taking thus far. Smiling regardless etc. i don’t think the son has any idea tbh and I think he’d be a little cross if he knew as he’s clearly working really hard to apologise/make amends etc x

OP posts:
Marmelace · 24/02/2022 12:39

Slay her with friendliness

LadyNell · 24/02/2022 12:41

Be overly nice that will piss her off

Gardeningdream · 24/02/2022 12:42

I’d really not blame the son for the mothers behaviour. Be friends with him or not, but the drama of he is responsible for his mothers behaviour would count me out personally.

ufucoffee · 24/02/2022 12:42

I'd be very friendly too. Say something like 'are you ok, you look absolutely shattered you poor old thing' Grin

2pinkginsplease · 24/02/2022 12:42

Why do you care what his mum thinks? She isnt your friend, ignore her !

ClariceQuiff · 24/02/2022 12:43

Your friend can't control how his mother behaves. If you want to end the friendship, of course you can do so for any reason, but it doesn't seem a valid one to end it because of his mum's behaviour.

PatchworkElmer · 24/02/2022 12:43

I wouldn’t end an (adult) friendship with someone because of their Mum, no.

NinjaQueen · 24/02/2022 12:46

Just ignore her. He's not the boss of his mum, what do you actually want him to do here?

Marmelace · 24/02/2022 12:49

Actually, do you think your friendship would survive you trying to cause trouble between him and his mum

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 24/02/2022 12:49

You can end a friendship for whatever reason you want. But your friend can’t control what his mother says or does.

EenieWeenie · 24/02/2022 12:55

Sorry if I've missed it but what exactly did you fall out over that he called you names???
It maybe small to you but perhaps its quite significant to him but he was prepared to swallow it because of your friendship but his mum disagrees?

Eightiesfan · 24/02/2022 13:02

She is not your friend so I wouldn’t worry, just smile at her and try and ignore her RBF, no need to confront or go tit-for-tat with her. However, I would mention this behaviour to my friend, he might have mentioned your disagreement but probably not mentioned you’ve moved past it.

JellybabyGina87 · 24/02/2022 13:08

Just ignore her. I wouldn't try to be friendly to her and make it look like you actually care. Don't even look at her. I'd cool off on the friend as well. It's no loss to you if he's not even that close a friend anyway.

AnnesBrokenSlate · 24/02/2022 13:15

You want to tell on her to her son so she'll play nice with you Grin Well, won't that just confirm everything she thinks about you.

Suck it up. She's an adult and it's the school run. She doesn't need to acknowledge you. You're trying to force a friendship level that she no longer wants with you. And, by doing so, you're trying to pretend that whatever happened last year has been wiped out. It hasn't in her eyes. And there's no need for her to forgive and forget just because her son has.

WizardOfAus · 24/02/2022 13:17

@ThatsNotMyGolem

When you pass her, narrow your eyes, flick her the bird, and whisper "fuck you".
I would definitely do this.
FlibbertyGiblets · 24/02/2022 13:24

I cant imagine wanting to control someone's mother so badly. V odd.

watcherintherye · 24/02/2022 13:37

What would be wrong with saying to the friend “I get the impression your Mum doesn’t realise we’ve moved on since last year!” and just leave it there. The friend can do what he wants with it, either ignore or tell his Mum that he and op are actually on friendly terms. What his Mum does is up to her.

nitsandwormsdodger · 24/02/2022 13:52

To mum “ good morning!!! is everything ok ? “

I would mention to him his mum seems down and quiet and is everything ok ? From a concerned angle

What on earth did you do that provokes that response ??