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Original poster

What do you wish your parents had taught you but didn’t?

92 replies

auberginefrog · 21/02/2022 12:49

Just curious/nosy. My dad is very handy - him and my grandpa could fix just about anything but somehow this was never passed onto me…

OP posts:
NaiceHamAndHugs · 24/02/2022 21:55

Confidence in myself and to be able to feel that it’s ok to show emotion.

PurpleSproutingSomething · 24/02/2022 21:57

How to drive.
How to tidy up after myself.
How to manage money.
How I could have done anything I wanted.

I guess it would have been nice just to be taught these things or encouraged a bit more. They would tell me that I was kind and a nice person, but I needed more than that.

SnoozeAllDay · 24/02/2022 22:04

That wearing a brace is only 18mo-2yr out of your long life and it’s something I’d regret for the rest of my life if I didn’t do it.

upinaballoon · 24/02/2022 22:15

how to do basic woodwork

how to cook an egg custard with pastry at the bottom and for it not to rise up through the custard

MintyGreenDream · 24/02/2022 22:17

To stand up to bullies rather than just tell a teacher

KirstenBlest · 24/02/2022 22:22

To be assertive

Kerrie21 · 24/02/2022 22:23

How to communicate with each other respectfully.

How to show emotions and know it's ok.

How to keep a secure bond between us siblings.

How I can tell them anything without fear of another strop from mom or dad cutting me off for months.

How to deal with their up/ down personalities.

How I am allowed to have a different view to them and be able to voice it.

How to compromise.

How gifts don't fix things.

How judging people is wrong. My mom still does this now and when I challenge she hates it but I'm so right.

They have still to this day got more bad points than good unfortunately.

Schoolsout78 · 24/02/2022 22:26

About money

MrsMillhouse · 24/02/2022 22:28

I don’t know... my parents weren’t perfect, but they did the absolute best they could. They couldn’t teach me what they didn’t know themselves

DramaAlpaca · 24/02/2022 22:29

Confidence. I didn't get that until I was well into adulthood.

I wish I'd been taught to play the piano. We had a piano but I was never encouraged to play it and there was no money for lessons.

HopingForMyRainbowBaby · 24/02/2022 22:31

Not my parents. But I wish I'd asked my Grandad to teach me his native language, Polish.

Lampface · 24/02/2022 22:32

Housework.

Safe alcohol use (she tried to get me drinking at 13, I've not touched the stuff since and it terrifies me).

Safe sex use. She used to encourage me to have sex when I was 13.

Basic hygiene and self care. Like the actual basics that somehow didn't occur to her.

BoredZelda · 24/02/2022 22:40

Sewing

I was going to say similar, but to be fair, my mum did try so it’s more the case that I should have paid more attention.

For me it’s more that I wish my parents were more active and that I’d grown up with exercise being a way of life. It wasn’t part of our life but I wish we had been a more sporty family.

godmum56 · 24/02/2022 23:02

I think my parents did an excellent job. My screw ups are my own.

Lndnmummy · 24/02/2022 23:09

I wish my mum had taught me what it feels like to be loved unconditionally.

FrecklesMalone · 24/02/2022 23:09

I hope you are all learning these things to make sure you teach them to your children otherwise you are just carrying on the cycle.
My parents taught me that it was my responsibility to learn shite
That the world is tough and that it is up to you to look after yourself and those around you
I do wish they had taught me woodwork better but tbf I probably was a shit pupil.

CourtRand · 24/02/2022 23:09

Another language. Had tutors for other subjects but never languages.

FrecklesMalone · 24/02/2022 23:10

Also I wish they had taught me better punctuation.

ThomasinaGallico · 24/02/2022 23:55

@HopingForMyRainbowBaby

Not my parents. But I wish I'd asked my Grandad to teach me his native language, Polish.
Likewise. My brothers learnt as they were around my GPs much more, but my parents moved out of my GPs’ house when I was a baby so I never got quite the same exposure to the language. I am also hearing impaired which slowed me down, so I have knowledge of a few basic phrases and that’s it. Oh, and weirdly if I see a sentence in Polish I have a pretty good idea how to pronounce it!

My parents did their best for me, but through no fault of their own, they couldn’t teach me how to navigate career choices (they assumed I’d find a profession and have a job for life, not scrabble for low grade part-time admin work amid job cuts and pervasive and insidious disability discrimination) and I’m amazed I ever learned to ride a bike. I’m still not confident on two wheels.

I also wish they’d had more of a clue about anxiety and how it can mess up your self-organisation. If you found it difficult to motivate yourself to do something their approach was a bit ‘run into the wall and hope it disappears/crumbles’, like you were heading for Platform 9 3/4. Or you got told off for being lazy. I don’t think they had a clue about organisational skills or time management as a concept.

middleager · 25/02/2022 00:02

The value of education
The importance of saving
Aspiration
Not to settle
Not to get too big a mortgage

IWishIWasABaller · 25/02/2022 00:03

How to drive and push me to get my driving license. Also the importance of money management and saving

LibrariesGiveUsPower · 25/02/2022 00:13

How to shave my legs. That was a painful experience and I had massive cuts on my legs in the middle of the summer.

Disfordragon · 25/02/2022 00:29

I think my mum did a bloody awesome job raising myself and siblings. She is a devout Christian and my only sadness is that she condoned their rigid teachings on relationships; one burns in hell for having sex out with marriage. The trauma this has caused. I used to expect to find my DD dead in her cot as punishment for having been found out.

PineappleHouseUnderTheSea · 25/02/2022 01:08

How to work out how many hours work I have to do for every £1 I spend (on useless tat & coffees) by the time deductions, PAYE, NI and tax is accounted for.

Pyewhacket · 25/02/2022 01:12

Other way round. I could have taught them a few home truths.