Emails ignored, is this bullying?

[LakesandSnow]

I work in an organisation of approx 200 people. My emails are often completely ignored by people men even when I have directly asked them (rather than, say, copying them in on something). Part of my job involves raising funds for the company, the people ignoring my emails could positively impact on this at no cost to themselves. (And arguably would benefit from it).
The big boss (female) who I report directly into has previously agreed it is really rude but not really done anything about it except make supportive noises.
I'm utterly fed up. I do a good job but I feel invisible, thwarted and really down.

Is it part of his job officially?
Are you asking him to mix his personal life and professional life?

If its something like asking him share something on his personal social media or get relatives to become clients I'd understand.

yeah. you need a comms strategy for your approach to your colleagues.

1. it's core to the job like business development, invoicing on time - you & senior people need to get together and work out the key messages to pass to everyone & you need support for making people do it & consequences if they don't. It's unfair for you to have to do it by sheer force of personality.

2. it's not core - like asking people to gift aid when they buy stuff, or raise money for stuff which you then match fund, or recommend a friend to work there and they get £50 or whatever. In that case you need to know why it's important that you chase it, and work with your manager to identify a reasonable return on your time - getting 50% response rate perhaps? Or identifying more incentives for people to do it, or getting team champions to chase for you, or crowd sourcing what would help people comply, or or whatever. A million ideas are possible.

What you shouldn’t do, is take it all personally. Belt up.

It’s not bullying, it’s a question of what those people have been told is their priority. The problem is your manager - tell her that emailing colleagues results in very low response rates, and ask her to discuss alternative ways to approach staff…

Op what you’re doing is called influencing without authority. You need to learn to build relationships, speak to people, understand their needs, what is feasible, how you can help each other.

Firing out emails is not the way to do it.

basically because your important is not their important. Simples.

No. I don't think I would bother replying either if it didn't really seem very important to me or I had dnough go do already. You need to think of a different strategy. E-mails aren't working.

It’s not bullying just rude , same where I am but there is so bloody many emails I’ve been guilty of it myself. I find when ignoring so I’m waiting for a answer I pick the phone up as it usually jolts them up . I’ll then follow up with a email as per our phone conversation . It’s tedious but in my job we need a email trail as pound to a penny weeks down the like it’s why did you do x .

What's the "small thing" you're asking them to do to draw in more clients?

Not bullying. Most likely they are snowed under and just deprioritised stuff. Are you in person at all? Can you give him a ring? Being friendly but persistent is usually effective.

I’m not sure it’s even rude as such, and think there’s an argument the ops approach is rude, as it fails to take into account the other persons work load.

Op, this is an ongoing problem, if I was your manager I’d be asking you why you weren’t booking in meetings, talking to people, and relying on an ineffective method you know doesn’t work. Emailing is the lazy answe.

This happened in my organisation and it was classed as bullying, although that was between two specific people rather than a general problem.

It still happens generally and is known that some male staff just don't like communicating with female staff. There are a couple that will always ignore my emails but will send their response to my male colleague instead. Totally bizarre and unacceptable.

It's not bullying but it's certainly rude, I get the same, just copy in their line manager, you need to be pushy and let them know you won't stand for it

Stakeholder engagement and relationship management are skills. If your role is to use those skills, then it isn't bullying if someone ignores you - it's life. Your job presumably involves convincing people not to ignore you and to believe what you are saying and doing is important. At the moment it sounds like this person may not believe it is. So figure out if he's important enough to your mission to bother spending time on, and if he is, what would work.

Nothing you have said suggests he is bullying you. Maybe he thinks your ideas aren't very good. Maybe he thinks they are brilliant but has no time to engage with you. Who knows. If it matters, find out which.

@Betty000

It's not bullying but it's certainly rude, I get the same, just copy in their line manager, you need to be pushy and let them know you won't stand for it

Don’t do this. Make an appt, go and see him. Talk about what’s required. How and when it can be done. Form relationships thay are mutually beneficial. Don’t try and bully him into it and damage your relationships.

Do you really want to be so very ineffective you need to always copy peoples managers in rather than work collaboratively?

I get so many emails that any I haven’t read in two weeks gets auto deleted. I know similar workers like me, middle management types who are working from home.

It’s really impossible to keep on top sometimes, especially with teams and zoom messages pinging at you all day long on top of emails.

I find picking up the phone the best way to get an answer from other busy people!

@Chestofdraws

I’m not sure it’s even rude as such, and think there’s an argument the ops approach is rude, as it fails to take into account the other persons work load.

Op, this is an ongoing problem, if I was your manager I’d be asking you why you weren’t booking in meetings, talking to people, and relying on an ineffective method you know doesn’t work. Emailing is the lazy answe.

I’d agree with this. You need to work on your influencing toolkit. Firing off emails may work with some people but they won’t with lots. I’d be one of them, however politely you worded the email it probably wouldn’t be a priority with me. Whereas talking to me would likely get a different result

But it's not misogyny here, I suspect. Having been on the end of something like this myself — constant nit-picking and unhelpful suggestions of how I might be able to squeeze a little more work out for them when I am already working overtime — I can completely understand why they don't open your emails.

You need to call people, OP, and have a conversation. Or arrange to go and meet them, take them a coffee and persuade them of the ways they can help the business. People hate change and hate changing the way they work and won't respond to email nagging — which is what it feels like.

Frankly if my business was relying on coaxing and cajoling me to work harder, or use my social media to promote the company, or trying to get them to rope in friends or family, I'd be looking for another job. That's desperate and the company will be going down before long.

But it's not misogyny here, I suspect. Having been on the end of something like this myself — constant nit-picking and unhelpful suggestions of how I might be able to squeeze a little more work out for them when I am already working overtime — I can completely understand why they don't open your emails.

I agree. Usually these get filed in the trash folder.

I cc senior managers in when I email their staff.

Do they know that it is actually your job to advise and guide them on this?

If not then start there. Explain your role and cc in their managers.

All you can do is your job. By emailing them you are doing that.

Keep records of response rates and give those reports to your manager and maybe ask for a meeting to discuss better / other ways to do your job if other staff are not responding to you

Are you also making it expressly clear that you are asking them in person to do a specific thing? Unless people are @ in three message with an action emails like yours tend to be ignored.

Do you have authority to be asking him too? And is it asking him to do something in his personal life or as part of his job?

Also, does it have to be an email at all? We have moved most things like this to Teams, cuts the clutter, is easier seen and tracked. And needs less time to write/respond to

I cc senior managers in when I email their staff

Do you not think senior managers have enough work of their own to do ? Usually with far too many e-mails that should be going to them to deal with ?

OP if your job is to get other employees to do something, and you are not getting the response or % return you are hoping for, then your job is to go and talk to them and find out how you can engage with them.

@LakesandSnow

It's not a sponsored walk type thing, it's more like "you doing this one small thing will pull us in new clients and keep us afloat". The particular man I'm thinking of literally has this in his job title?! He still hasn't replied and although not new to the organisation, he's been in this new role for a few months now so I would hope still at the "keen to impress" stage. I would even settle for a "sorry I'm too busy" response over none at all.

What is the thing?

No, it's not bullying. It might even be a sensible and strategic use of time, especially if they din't want to do the thing.

This is very far from bullying. If you think it is, you've probably never been seriously bullied at work.

I'm intrigued as to what it is! In normal times I'd be thinking it's having a stand at an expo or something?