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Original poster

Grammar school

50 replies

autumnkate · 21/02/2022 07:47

My son has a place to start year 7 at a grammar school in September.

We are considering moving across the country (better job options and nearer family) but I feel so guilty about his school!

Will I be doing him a massive disservice by moving him? The town we are considering has a good comp (62% get a 5 in english and maths at GCSE) but no grammar. I worry he won’t do as well.

Does anyone have any experience with moving children out of the grammar system? Would you? Thanks for any insights.

OP posts:
TeenPlusCat · 21/02/2022 08:07

No experience of grammars, but a comment.

Most areas of the country don't have grammar schools. The children in most of those areas are perfectly well educated. Good comps are capable of getting bright pupils to straight 7+ GCSE grades.

Your issue however may be that you can't get your school of choice initially as you will be applying 'in year'.

GeneLovesJezebel · 21/02/2022 08:10

He could do badly in a Grammar if he doesn’t like it/gets bullied/gets into drugs. I really wouldn’t base such a big move, with the opportunities, on Grammar versus comp.

Tigersonvaseline · 21/02/2022 08:18

How will the move benefit him?
Better money? Close to family that loves him?
What exactly is the local comp like?

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tinyperson · 21/02/2022 08:21

Consider how the move might help. I would research local schools and then decide.

TeenPlusCat · 21/02/2022 08:22

If you are moving 'across the country' from Kent to Hants, I'd say go for it.

Whitefire · 21/02/2022 08:36

Are you aware at how offensive your post come across? The vast majority of the UK do not have grammar schools yet us and our children do absolutely fine.

TeenPlusCat · 21/02/2022 08:41

@Whitefire

Are you aware at how offensive your post come across? The vast majority of the UK do not have grammar schools yet us and our children do absolutely fine.
I don't think it is offensive as such. I think people with bright children who have the misfortune to live in grammar areas tend to be very much in a bubble and just don't realise how many great comps there are out there. Especially if they went to comp 30 years ago and are judging on that rather than on how they are now.
AvocadoPlant · 21/02/2022 08:46

My DSs scored straight A/A*s in GCSEs and A Levels so I do understand your concern.

Oh wait, they went to the local comp.

Their cousins at a Birmingham super-selective grammar didn’t achieve so highly.

Just saying …….

GreenWheat · 21/02/2022 08:49

Slightly missing the point of the thread, but how do you have an offer before National Offer Day on 1st March?

AvonCallingBarksdale · 21/02/2022 08:56

I don't think it is offensive as such. I think people with bright children who have the misfortune to live in grammar areas tend to be very much in a bubble and just don't realise how many great comps there are out there

The “misfortune”?? What do you mean? We live in a grammar area - definitely not a misfortune. What an odd thing to say…

TeenPlusCat · 21/02/2022 08:59

re Misfortune - slightly tongue in cheek, I forgot the Wink , though some of the people who live in grammar areas whose children just miss out may agree with me...

AvonCallingBarksdale · 21/02/2022 08:59

Oh and I went to a fantastic comprehensive as did DH so I’m aware of the comp system and able to see outside of my “grammar bubble” 😂 Both DC are in fantastic grammars. Both those things can be great, they’re not mutually exclusive!

AvonCallingBarksdale · 21/02/2022 09:00

@TeenPlusCat fair point. I guess I feel a bit defensive - there tends to be a lot of hate for grammars on MN. For us it’s been great, but appreciate others may feel differently

TeenPlusCat · 21/02/2022 09:06

I think grammars can be great ... for the children in them.

I just don't really like the whole system. The pressure of doing the 11+, and all the tutoring that appears to go on with it. The fact that poorer or less organised families often can't 'compete'. The 'failing' at age 10. The fact/impression that the non-grammars in some areas seem to be poorer than the grammars, etc.

The OP seems worried about moving to non-grammar. If she is moving to an area with good schools, she needn't be.

Original poster
autumnkate · 21/02/2022 09:08

He isn’t keen about the idea of moving which probably doesn’t help my mixed feelings. And he worked hard at getting into the grammar.

The town we are thinking about is a nice market town and the school is a good comp. It is the only school in the town so it is properly comprehensive.

OP posts:
TeenPlusCat · 21/02/2022 09:21

When would you move? If you can move before he starts secondary it would be better than later.
And the work to 'get to grammar' won't be wasted. It will be good foundation for secondary, and it is likely that when they set he will be in top sets.

Whitefire · 21/02/2022 09:24

I think the grammar system is flawed, but I don't hate it. However I do not like the attitude the somehow those of us with children in the comprehensive system are failing them.

Though I wonder too how the OP knows he has a place already.

Original poster
autumnkate · 21/02/2022 09:38

I know because the grammar sends out a result letter in October and although I know it isn’t official yet, every child with this letter in previous years has got in.

OP posts:
Tyredofallthis1 · 21/02/2022 10:04

I think that there are grammars and grammars, if you see what I mean. Not all grammar schools are created equal and not every kid is suited to them.

My son goes to a state grammar. The three local comprehensives are absolutely dire and one has a semi-permanent police presence. The travel is tough and the uniform crazily expensive, but it's worked out fine for him. He's flourishing.

However many of the kids are under an insane amount of pressure academically. They have a teacher whose role is purely about pushing the exam grades up. Some of the kids come from twenty or thirty miles away. I keep hearing stories of 'x can't do anything this weekend as they didn't get a good enough grade' or 'friend is too busy with tutors' etc etc.

For me, the best part of the school is their pastoral care and the standard of behaviour. If the local schools have good support and good behaviour then that is as big a factor as exam results. Do you know any of the parents in the potential new area to ask about how happy the kids are at school? How about the kids at the local grammar?

You should also ask why your son is so keen on the grammar? Is it because he has friends there or has he heard about how important it is to get good grades?

How will staying where you are impact your ability to provide for your son?

Original poster
autumnkate · 21/02/2022 10:13

He isn’t bothered about the school so much as not wanting move away from our life here. He’s very settled. However he doesn’t know anyone going to the grammar.

I think I feel guilty because the reasons to move are mainly for me. I would be in the same town as my parents and career opportunities will be more varied and interesting although not necessarily better paid.

OP posts:
linmanuel · 21/02/2022 10:15

@GreenWheat

Slightly missing the point of the thread, but how do you have an offer before National Offer Day on 1st March?
Ooh good point
Topseyt · 21/02/2022 10:19

@Whitefire

Are you aware at how offensive your post come across? The vast majority of the UK do not have grammar schools yet us and our children do absolutely fine.
Why is it offensive?

I grew up in a non-grammar area but now live in one with grammars. All of my family have done perfectly well out of either.

Original poster
autumnkate · 21/02/2022 10:20

I’ve explained this. There’s no big mystery.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 21/02/2022 10:21

It just wouldn't occur to me to find that offensive. I'd have the same worries.

Original poster
autumnkate · 21/02/2022 10:24

Ok I guess my question is to those of you who have children at grammars.

Would you move them if you didn’t have to?

OP posts:
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