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Original poster

Colleague not speaking to me.

71 replies

LouLouLou37 · 18/02/2022 17:20

Myself and a colleague A have been complaining between each other about a new starter at work. We are nurses; our new colleague B, hasn't received her PIN, we have been delegating work for her and she won't do it because she feels she's a nurse and she should be helping with our work. The thing is the ward is so busy so we feel she should help out where needed and work with the HCAs. Anyhow one of our other colleagues (C) came in and my colleague A complained to colleague C that she (B) wasn't pulling her weight and that she had reported her to the manager etc.. C was really angry and shouted at A saying that she should be supporting her, as she is newly qualified. She was really angry with her. I didn't say anything, I kept quiet throughout the whole exchange.
My colleague A is now no longer speaking to me and feels like I should have said something to back her up.
Is she right? Should I have spoken up and backed her?

OP posts:
artificialhells · 18/02/2022 17:23

In your position, yes I would have backed up your colleague. You both need the situation to change and this was an opportunity to address it with a managers instead, you threw your colleague under a bus and made it much less likely that anything will change

DysmalRadius · 18/02/2022 17:23

Do you agree with what colleague A said? Was she just sharing the gripes that you two have been discussing about colleague B or was there other stuff she was complaining about?

Lou98 · 18/02/2022 17:24

I don't really know much about nursing from a personal point of view but I do think you and colleague A seem quite nasty. "Complaining amongst yourselves" about anybody, especially a newly qualified start is a really shitty thing to do.

Of course if there was issues with work that you felt needed reported then that should be dealt with by the relevant person and so speaking to manager is fine but bitching to eachother isn't.

I can see why Colleague A isn't talking to you - you were happy to join her in complaining about B but as soon as someone calls her out on it you say nothing?

artificialhells · 18/02/2022 17:24

Sorry for typos and bad grammar! Also realise you weren’t talking to a manager but a colleague. Even less reason not to speak up. Why didn’t you?

MagicMatilda · 18/02/2022 17:25

You 100% should of backed her up! Very poor show on your part to stand there and say nothing

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 18/02/2022 17:25

Yeah I’d probably think less of you in that situation tbh

Lou98 · 18/02/2022 17:26

Just to add though, that A shouldn't expect to bitch to any colleague and not get called out for it, she was obviously hoping that C would join in with the complaining and wasn't happy that it backfired on her

over2021 · 18/02/2022 17:26

YABU not to have backed your colleague up. If you were happy to bitch about the colleague with her you should have had the balls to speak up when she got called out on it.

Karwomannghia · 18/02/2022 17:27

Horses for courses!

TabithaHazel · 18/02/2022 17:33

Why didn’t you back her up OP, or are you the type of cowardly person who just likes to sow discontent behind the scenes?

Wartywart · 18/02/2022 17:33

C is right in that you should have been supporting B. You have also let down A by not standing up for her when she repeated to C the things that you and A had already been saying about B behind B's back. But you and A, as I said, should not have been talking like that in the first place.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 18/02/2022 17:33

As a fellow nurse this sounds like an awful work environment. The newly qualified nurse should be supernumerary and working alongside trained colleagues to learn the routine and policies.

What does your manager say? Are you delegating because you are in charge of the shift? If you have problems with a colleague you should talk to your manager. Your new nurse should have external preceptorship support. This is a prime example of why nurses leave. Please be kind. It is quite scary to be a newly qualified nurse and I am sure you, like must need all the nurses you can get.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 18/02/2022 17:37

Also I do know how hard it is on the wards and we all 'muck in '. I just feel new nurses need that protection from supernumerary status. Allow your manager to deal with it.n

MadMadMadamMim · 18/02/2022 17:37

I'd hate to work with either of you, personally. Toxic work environments are awful - and they are created by people like you and your colleague.

Maybe grow up and behave like adults? Instead of bitching about other people?

rwalker · 18/02/2022 17:43

TBH this all come about because new nurse won't do anything that she thinks is beneath her .

Babyroobs · 18/02/2022 17:48

Yes it's awful when someone agrees with you to your face and then doesn't back you up in front of others. If you've been bitching about this person behind her back saying she's not pulling her weight, then when your colleague makes these allegations to someone else you say nothing so you don't get into trouble, that is really not on. I have just had a similar situation with an absolutely lazy colleague. I was the only one who had the guts to say anything to management even though everyone else was agreeing with me, and I've ended up looking like the nasty/ bitchy one and born the brunt of the managers disdain to the point I left the job.

Babyroobs · 18/02/2022 17:51

@Rupertpenrysmistress

As a fellow nurse this sounds like an awful work environment. The newly qualified nurse should be supernumerary and working alongside trained colleagues to learn the routine and policies.

What does your manager say? Are you delegating because you are in charge of the shift? If you have problems with a colleague you should talk to your manager. Your new nurse should have external preceptorship support. This is a prime example of why nurses leave. Please be kind. It is quite scary to be a newly qualified nurse and I am sure you, like must need all the nurses you can get.

But she hasn't got her PIN yet, therefore she cannot work as a qualified nurse yet. I agree she should be pulling her weight as an HCA for now as presumably that is what she is employed as until her PIN comes through and presumably because she is employed as an HCA she is being counted in the numbers to work as one unless I've misunderstood ?
negomi90 · 18/02/2022 17:51

C sounds good and supportive. You and A sound like the worst of nurses, and you added a bit of backstabbing letting A take the flack for something you were equally part of.
A newly qualified nurse waiting for her pin is not an HCA and shouldn't be doing HCA jobs. She should be doing nursing with support so that when she gets her pin she has the confidence to fly as a nurse.
I get that its frustrating sometimes working with junior staff who need a lot of support, it takes more initial work. But its also incredibly rewarding teaching people things, helping them learn and gain confidence so that they then go on to the things you've taught them.
Supporting junior colleagues is also basic human decency.
A newly qualified nurse isn't going to be doing the same volume of work as an experienced nurse, that's not possible. She needs time to gain experience before she gets good, that's how learning works.

unfortunateevents · 18/02/2022 17:52

TBH this all come about because new nurse won't do anything that she thinks is beneath her - and you know that how?

Babyroobs · 18/02/2022 17:54

@negomi90

C sounds good and supportive. You and A sound like the worst of nurses, and you added a bit of backstabbing letting A take the flack for something you were equally part of. A newly qualified nurse waiting for her pin is not an HCA and shouldn't be doing HCA jobs. She should be doing nursing with support so that when she gets her pin she has the confidence to fly as a nurse. I get that its frustrating sometimes working with junior staff who need a lot of support, it takes more initial work. But its also incredibly rewarding teaching people things, helping them learn and gain confidence so that they then go on to the things you've taught them. Supporting junior colleagues is also basic human decency. A newly qualified nurse isn't going to be doing the same volume of work as an experienced nurse, that's not possible. She needs time to gain experience before she gets good, that's how learning works.
Depends what she is currently being paid to work as surely ? Where I used to work if you were waiting for your PIN you would be paid as an HCA until the PIN came through ? Fully agree about newly qualified needing a lot of support though - we need to be looking after these Nurses.
NotNowBoris · 18/02/2022 17:54

I'm kind to shocked that your manager came in and shouted at B for raising an issue. Surely if she was mistaken she could have been informed of this in a professional manner. But yes, if you were present, it's a bit odd that you stood there and kept quiet instead of showing a bit of solidarity to your colleague whose concerns you shared.

KylieCharlene · 18/02/2022 17:57

'A' doesn't sound very nice.
You should be supporting your new colleague- not bitching.
Unfortunately you sound very much like 'A' - just a cowardly version.

drpet49 · 18/02/2022 17:59

* You 100% should of backed her up! Very poor show on your part to stand there and say nothing*

^This. You have shown your true colours OP.

WonderfulYou · 18/02/2022 18:04

Yes you should have absolutely backed her up if you’ve spent time agreeing with her.

However you are both in the wrong and sound very bitchy. I would hate to be a part of your team.

C is absolutely right that you should be supporting her.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 18/02/2022 18:11

The policy for newly qualified nurses is not to work as a HCA until they get their pin, it is to work alongside qualified nurses so , once they get their pin they can then take their own patients. Preceptorship is huge for new nurses now, we realise how important the initial support is
When I was newly qualified it was different but we are going back over 20 years.