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Original poster

Colleague not speaking to me.

71 replies

LouLouLou37 · 18/02/2022 17:20

Myself and a colleague A have been complaining between each other about a new starter at work. We are nurses; our new colleague B, hasn't received her PIN, we have been delegating work for her and she won't do it because she feels she's a nurse and she should be helping with our work. The thing is the ward is so busy so we feel she should help out where needed and work with the HCAs. Anyhow one of our other colleagues (C) came in and my colleague A complained to colleague C that she (B) wasn't pulling her weight and that she had reported her to the manager etc.. C was really angry and shouted at A saying that she should be supporting her, as she is newly qualified. She was really angry with her. I didn't say anything, I kept quiet throughout the whole exchange.
My colleague A is now no longer speaking to me and feels like I should have said something to back her up.
Is she right? Should I have spoken up and backed her?

OP posts:

Harrysutton · 19/02/2022 11:00

You both sound awful. Good on C.

Chestofdraws · 19/02/2022 11:05

I don’t really understand why is it you and your colleagues job to delegate your work to the nurse? Surely that’s whomevers in charges role. If the two of you can’t manage speak to your supervisor, don’t sit and bitch and try to delegate your work

I’d think less of the pair of you. It sounds like scummy bullying behaviour.

And as for you you were happy to bitch behind her back and try and get her to do your work for you but then refused to stand up and counted.

It’s all deeply unpleasant. In future speak to your supervisor if the pair of you can’t or won’t do your own work don’t try to offload it to the new person and bully them.

Bananarama21 · 19/02/2022 11:06

As a fellow nurse this sounds like an awful work environment. The newly qualified nurse should be supernumerary and working alongside trained colleagues to learn the routine and policies.

What does your manager say? Are you delegating because you are in charge of the shift? If you have problems with a colleague you should talk to your manager. Your new nurse should have external preceptorship support. This is a prime example of why nurses leave. Please be kind. It is quite scary to be a newly qualified nurse and I am sure you, like must need all the nurses you can get.

This she should be supported not bitched about it sounds a very toxic work environment.

Luredbyapomegranate · 19/02/2022 11:25

Yes of course you should have backed her up.

And the pair of you should have tackled the issue directly with the new nurse or your boss rather than bitching about it between yourselves

Luredbyapomegranate · 19/02/2022 11:26

It all sounds very toxic and unpleasant

gettingolderandgrumpy · 19/02/2022 11:51

[quote ineedsun]You’re out of order, a- for bossing the new person about, b- for seemingly giving her shit jobs rather than sharing it out equally and helping her learn, c- for bitching, d- for throwing your friend under the bus

ISmellBurnings · 19/02/2022 12:53

Sounds like an awful work environment, you all sound really unprofessional. No one should be shouting at each other or not talking.

In my trust newly qualifieds work as HCAs until they get their pin. You should still be supporting her, she’s new. Was she buddied up with someone or left to get on with it?

If you have problems with her attitude then you need to speak to your manager, whoever her preceptor is and your education team. Maybe no one has explained her job role to her while she waits for her pin?

Chestofdraws · 19/02/2022 12:57

Doesn’t a pin come through really quickly as in a week or two?

dapsnotplimsolls · 19/02/2022 14:04

What's the official policy in terms of what nurses should do before they get their pin?

BlanketsBanned · 19/02/2022 15:15

Its a fault of the nmc system that nurses cannot access their pin the day they finish their training and paid their fee, there should not be a wait. When i qualified we went directly to the ukcc to pay and that was it, that was before online registration and payment so it should be even easier now.

Original poster

LouLouLou37 · 19/02/2022 21:34

I delegate to her because usually when I am on shift I am the Nurse in charge. As I said before, I am also doing all the jobs the HCAs would do!
Anyway she has told me today she is leaving.

OP posts:

ineedsun · 19/02/2022 21:40

What are your thoughts about that?

Saltyquiche · 19/02/2022 21:50

As a newby nurse it’s natural to do the donkey work. It’s admirable that you pitch in too

Chestofdraws · 19/02/2022 21:56

Good for her getting out. What a horrible toxic work environment snd way to treat someone, good for the employee who called it out.

Please think next time how you treat someone.

Original poster

LouLouLou37 · 19/02/2022 22:20

@chestofdraws I haven't treated her badly, thankyou very much.
@ineedsunof I don't think much, she didn't want to stay when she first got to the ward, she had told management ages ago that she didn't want to take the job, but they persuaded her, because they are desperate.

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 19/02/2022 22:31

If either of you had issues with the new person you should have raised concerns in a professional way not by yelling at each other. You should have supported your colleague if there are problems. Pretty feeble not to.

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 19/02/2022 22:31

Sounds like bitching is the regular culture if A was so keen to bring C in about someone new. Pretty toxic in fact.

If B's expectations of her workload weren't aligned with what needed to be done, and she was pushing back then this should have been passed to management in a professional way, not used as gossip about someone new and probably nervous.

YABU in your approach but A can't really take the moral high ground here if all she was doing was spreading the gossip to an equal, rather than escalating the issue.

ineedsun · 20/02/2022 09:18

[quote LouLouLou37]@chestofdraws I haven't treated her badly, thankyou very much.
@ineedsunof I don't think much, she didn't want to stay when she first got to the ward, she had told management ages ago that she didn't want to take the job, but they persuaded her, because they are desperate.[/quote]
It’s interesting that in spite of (I think) everyone on here saying YABU, you’re taking no responsibility for her decision to leave. Did you learn about reflection when you trained?

I realise that there are staffing problems everywhere at the moment but have you considered that the toxic atmosphere may be compounding that?

What you describe in your OP sounds akin to bullying.

BlanketsBanned · 20/02/2022 10:51

Maybe it depends on what you were delegating her to do, did you say come and do meds in bay 1 with me then can you go and help with admission/discharge or were you just telling her to go and start washes with the hca. Did you ask her to do any staff nurse jobs at all.

DamnUserName21 · 20/02/2022 11:40

I agree this NQN should be pulling her weight (be it HCA work or whatever!) but you shouldn't be bitching about her to other staff. The ward manager or NIC should be addressing this.
Agree with PPs-toxic envt.

AledsiPad · 20/02/2022 11:49

This is why people leave nursing.

Vile.

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