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Original poster

My child never got a place in the school 11+

42 replies

wafflebrownie · 18/02/2022 12:48

I know I shouldn't feel disappointed but I am not in my child but I guess I just had hopes that he would get in.

I'm now thinking maybe we should have saved for tuition or something.i don't know. We're a low income family and can't really afford it. I did it myself - I'm not a tutor.

I haven't the heart to tell him yet. But I think he will be ok. He may get a place but I know he's definitely not got a bursary without which I know I will never be able to send him there.

The local comp he most likely will get a place in is dire and I know we will try and make the most of it.

Can you please cheer me up and tell me it will be ok!

OP posts:
Comedycook · 18/02/2022 12:51

Your post is really confusing. Do you mean he failed the 11plus exam?

Hoppinggreen · 18/02/2022 12:51

So he HAS got a place at a Private school but not the bursary you needed to help pay for it?
Don’t blame you for trying but it was a risky strategy to be honest.
Hopefully with involved parent/s behind him he will be ok at the Comp. I know a few kids at the local dire Comprehensive and they are doing well, largely down to having engaged parents I think.

LIZS · 18/02/2022 12:55

Is he on a waiting list if he may still get a place. Why enter him if you could not afford fees? It seems unfortunate that you have possibly raised his expectations only to be disappointed but that was a risk.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

11+ Exam General education
nicesausages · 18/02/2022 12:56

Please don't make him feel like a failure. A very academic school may not be the best environment for him anyway. And this may be a good thing to happen to him.
My two are attending the local comp and doing very nicely indeed with very good grades predicted.

Original poster
wafflebrownie · 18/02/2022 12:56

Sorry. Basically this week the school have made bursar appointments with parents who applied for bursaries.
We never got a call. So we have definitely not got a bursary.
He might get a place when offer letters are sent out next month. But it doesn't matter if he does as I can't send him as can't afford the fees.

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 18/02/2022 12:57

I’m confused by your post-round here, the 11+ is pass or fail-there is no situation where you ‘may’ still get a place. There is no bursary either as it’s a state school.

Is this a private school with its own entrance exam?

Original poster
wafflebrownie · 18/02/2022 12:58

I definitely will not be making him feel like a failure. All throughout the process I have always told him I'm so proud of him even if he doesn't get in. He knows that. I'll be treating him to something no matter what the outcome.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 18/02/2022 12:59

Ok, so your child will more than likely have to go to a state secondary like the vast majority of kids in this country. Worse things happen. I'm sure he will be fine...they don't all end up on the scrap heap Wink

Original poster
wafflebrownie · 18/02/2022 12:59

Howshouldibehave
Its a private school not for a grammar school.

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 18/02/2022 13:00

So, this is a private school you were hoping for a bursary for so you wouldn’t have to pay the fees and he hasn’t scored highly enough on their entrance exam?

I would imagine you already knew the chances of this were reasonably slim?

notacooldad · 18/02/2022 13:07

My kids went to a local comp school that hasn’t a brilliant reputation. One of them was very academic the other was cheer but not as much as the other child.
I kept a very close eye on what they were doing at school and kept in touch. If there was even the slightest bit of bad behaviour I supported the school. Both lads came away with great grades and now have good careers. They never went to uni but got on apprentiship scheme which led them to doing their degree.
Don’t right if the comp. It may be the best thing for your DS.

LIZS · 18/02/2022 13:17

Seems a very unusual admissions timetable for places to not yet have been offered. Did you also submit an application for state schools?

2bazookas · 18/02/2022 13:30

@wafflebrownie

Howshouldibehave Its a private school not for a grammar school.
Right. So nothing to do with the 11+, which is a state school exam for entry to a certain type of state school.

Sounds to me as if you've not done your homework.

Howshouldibehave · 18/02/2022 13:32

Yes, it sounds like your child hasn’t got a bursary for private school which is a difficult thing to get and whilst definitely disappointing/annoying, it’s probably no massive shock.

I’m presuming you have already filled in all the forms for your state school place?

Phormiumjester · 18/02/2022 13:34

Don't be upset you didn't pay a tutor. From my experience children who passed entrance exams because of huge tutor support struggled to keep up without it in school life.

Tigersonvaseline · 18/02/2022 13:55

Op can you try for 12 + 13 + When you get his actual results you will get a better idea how far off it he was.

Some very bright DC have been tutored for years And didn't really need it.
Some not so all around DC tutor And got in fine.
Managed fine then you do get the DC tutored who cant cope..

Clymene · 18/02/2022 13:58

Millions of children in the U.K. go to state schools and do fine.

Ilostit · 18/02/2022 13:58

I know two boys who got bursaries - low income families. But those boys really their parents pushed them in cricket, violin etc outside school and they were also tutored for the hilt.

You have to super super invest beforehand

AnotherNewt · 18/02/2022 13:58

Right. So nothing to do with the 11+, which is a state school exam for entry to a certain type of state school

Yes, this exam is also known as the 11+ and it's the only type of 11+ where results come out in the spring.

The state school version's results cone out in the autumn, in time for parents to know scores before applications deadline at the end of October

Tigersonvaseline · 18/02/2022 14:00

It depends on so many factors though doesn't it clymene I find the bar of what's fine quite low in the UK.

PacificState · 18/02/2022 15:34

OP comes asking for support after getting bad news and gets told all the ways she's in the wrong 🙄

It will be OK OP. My older son went to a truly dire secondary (one of the bottom 100 schools in England as measured by GCSE results) and for a couple of years I thought he was going to fail spectacularly. I was kicking myself for not putting him in for 11+ or exploring the possibility of bursaries etc. But he came out with decent GCSEs, moved elsewhere for sixth form and has absolutely smashed it since then.

It's a sad day for you and you're entitled to be upset about it but try to plaster on a brave face when talking to your son, and start planning how you're going to support and help motivate him. You never know, he might love it - my son didn't enjoy the academic experience at school at all but he made really good friends there who he's kept in contact with ever since.

Ducksurprise · 18/02/2022 15:36

@Ilostit

I know two boys who got bursaries - low income families. But those boys really their parents pushed them in cricket, violin etc outside school and they were also tutored for the hilt.

You have to super super invest beforehand

This isn't true. You can't be low income and do cricket, violin etc and tutor to the hilt.
CrimbleCrumble1 · 18/02/2022 15:50

This isn't true. You can't be low income and do cricket, violin etc and tutor to the hilt They could if for example grandparents paid.

ChiselandBits · 18/02/2022 16:05

2bazookas is trre really a need to be so sneery? Especially when you're wrong. Te independent school I work at has an entrance exam called the 11+ and we are this week in fact announcing the bursaries / scholarships etc. So maybe you could pipe down. OP, I can't afford to send my kids to the school I work at. They go to the local comp and I make up for any shortfalls caused simply by pupil / teacher ratio and lack of resources by close monitoring of their Teams and homework diaries, being annoyingly involved with what's going on and if necessary being 'that parent' who emails and asks for more detailed feedback occasionally. It's not the end of the world at all.

Clymene · 18/02/2022 16:48

@Tigersonvaseline

It depends on so many factors though doesn't it clymene I find the bar of what's fine quite low in the UK.
Well if we didn't have a two tier system where people will sell their granny to pay for private school, the situation wouldn't be quite so dire
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