Aargh! Does anyone have male friends that don't want to get into your knickers?!!

[shilohh]

I know the answer is yes obviously! However, for me it's not happening and I don't understand why!

I have always had male friends though majority are female. But from the male ones I would say there's been a few whom I have been very close with, as much as my close female friends. All these male friends have tried to make a move on me, I tell them I'm not interested and then things just get weird and I lose the friendship.

This has happened 3 times now. Once in my twenties with a uni friend, one with a friend I made at work and then recently with a friend from a hobby I've been involved in. This one I'm the most upset about. I'm so annoyed at him. We are so good together and he just "gets" me. I'm so comfortable with him and love him to bits We see each other every week via hobby and text / call most days..that will be all gone. I feel I'm mourning a death. I feel so sad.

Its made me feel that it's no point in making friends with men anymore if all they want is sex / relationship etc. I just want their friendship without the other crap!

Yeah, gay ones 😅. I’ve never had a friendship with a straight male, not since primary school anyway. They always want something else.

In my late teens and twenties I really thought I did.

By my mid thirties I knew I didn’t. By that time every one of them either made a pass at me or a declaration of love. One person who I’d been friends with for nearly 20 years.

Looking back, really I think that the closest I came was a couple of work colleagues/contacts who were friendly probably for the purposes of making work easier rather than getting laid. Although there were ones who were definitely a bit of both.

However, to be fair I think the long term friends who at some point said “I’m in love with you” didn’t just want to get in my pants.

Genuinely I think that at some point in their early thirties their relationship priorities changed and suddenly “person I’m a bit attracted to, get on well with, have similar interests, have a laugh with and there’s a history of friendship” became more what they were looking for. I had a few friends from university who fell into that camp. They were just ready for something serious.

I think a lot of people aren’t ever friends with people who they don’t find at least a bit attractive. It’s just often about timing and opportunity.