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Original poster

No response to DD’s party invitations?!

43 replies

ExhaustedMumma · 17/02/2022 21:28

DD is having a birthday party in just over 2 weeks time. As well as our friends and family, we’ve invited 10 children from her pre-school room at nursery. These are the kids who she’s attended with for the last few years and talks about all the time as friends. We couldn’t manage the whole of preschool but we checked with the nursery staff and they agreed this was the little group that played together. We don’t know parents really - our nursery is open 7am - 7pm so the range of drop off times is broad and we only know a couple to say hi to in passing.

It is a party in a hall with bouncy castle etc, parents to stay and will do food for kids (snack box) and something for adults too. The invites didn’t have loads of info (usual date, time, location etc) but I assumed I could pass on more if/when I got an RSVP text and check dietary requirements.

Nursery handed out the invites for us two weeks ago (apparently - but they have confirmed this).

The problem is we’ve only had one reply! I did see one of the parents in passing and she said she’s messaged me and they can make it, but I didn’t get the message. I’m sure she’s telling the truth but it’s a bit strange that nothing has come through.

Can it really be that no one is responding?

We went abroad the week after the invites went out and I didn’t really have my phone on. So now I’m wondering if messages just somehow didn’t get through because of that. Could that be possible?

No sure what to do now as I don’t have numbers for the parents. Apart from hoping to bump into the parents and asking the outright, I’m not sure what else I can do!

We still have a decent number of kids coming but I feel worried for DD that some of her best friends at nursery won’t be there, and that it will be guess work on catering. Due to allergies/covid I’m doing individual lunchboxes so could do with knowing numbers!

OP posts:

Comedycook · 17/02/2022 21:29

If you have two weeks to go I wouldn't worry just yet

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 17/02/2022 21:29

Is your number definitely correct? We recieved one once with a number missing from the phone number

Original poster

ExhaustedMumma · 17/02/2022 21:46

I hand-wrote the invites @Aroundtheworldin80moves so hopefully they are correct. At least one parent has managed to respond and my handwriting is legible I’m sure. I’ve had the same number for 23 years so I’d be surprised if I’d messed it up on 9/10 invites.

OP posts:

Original poster

ExhaustedMumma · 17/02/2022 21:47

Thanks @Comedycook - I guess it’s just that if it were me I would respond promptly. I like to know what I’m doing and plan ahead. I’m just not sure what the norm is - it’s the first kids party I’ve organised!

OP posts:

Comedycook · 17/02/2022 21:49

@ExhaustedMumma

Thanks *@Comedycook* - I guess it’s just that if it were me I would respond promptly. I like to know what I’m doing and plan ahead. I’m just not sure what the norm is - it’s the first kids party I’ve organised!

I would too but from my experience I predict you'll get a flurry of responses closer to the date. A lot of people don't like committing themselves too far in advance

PeacefulPrune · 17/02/2022 21:50

In my experience of inviting nursery friends and a whole school class, people are very late at responding and generally only response if they can come.

Hellocatshome · 17/02/2022 21:52

As someone who replies to invites straight away then writes it on the calendar so nothing else clashes arranging kids parties was a real eye opener! Lots of people seem to wait until the last minute incase a better offer comes along. Did you put a RSVP by date on the invite? Some people don't rsvp at all and just turn up, they are often the ones that also bring a hoard of siblings along as well!

honeybeesknees · 17/02/2022 21:55

I would just send out a note via nursery staff saying I have a feeling I might have put a digit wrong on my phone number, so here it is again, and could you let me know if your child can attend the party.

Middleagedfemaleangst · 17/02/2022 21:55

I think your problem is you don’t know the parents. Not many people love kids parties where they have to stay with the kids and don’t know any adults. It’s different when they get to school age as you’re going to spend all the school times with the mums. At this age I never did pre school nursery invites unless they were my mates with similar ages or one special friend from nursery and made an effort to chat to the parents at pick up etc. If they have older siblings they also have childcare issues.

Original poster

ExhaustedMumma · 17/02/2022 21:57

This is me @Hellocatshome. I’d respond promptly whether yes or no, and have a calendar with all our commitments. Generally say yes to everything we can make as we are sociable and always say thank you when invited to things.

No, no RSVP date. In hindsight probably should have done but then I’d worry it would seem a bit overly business-like for a casual party invite.

My problem is I want to appear relaxed, whilst also having everything under control and knowing exactly what I’m planning for!

It is all an eye-opener!

OP posts:

PoshWatchShitShoes · 17/02/2022 22:05

My little one received a party invite from nursery a few weeks ago and I haven't yet replied. The party is in 2 weeks. I feel bad now reading your post!!

Hope you gets answers soon. I'm going to reply tomorrow to ours

CrabbyCat · 17/02/2022 22:17

From DD's small reception class, I had to chase 5/15 parents 2 days before the party because they hadn't replied. All of them said they were coming, I think a lot of parents are juggling a lot of things and replying to party invites clearly gets forgotten quite a lot. It's harder if you don't have contact details to chase with though!

Rupertgrintismyguiltypleasure · 17/02/2022 22:21

In my experience you’ll get replies probably less than one week before, sometimes days before. Or like some of dd friends just turn up without letting you know.

Emmelina · 17/02/2022 22:27

It’s been my experience that people will tumble their responses in with less than a week to go. It’s VERY frustrating and stressful!

StressyWoman · 17/02/2022 22:31

Yes it’s likely some will let you know closer to the time and others will just turn up!

Katya213 · 17/02/2022 22:39

In my experience, people reply a week or a few days before and some who didnt bother to reply just turn up on the day, so always make sure you’ve got enough party bags etc.

CrackerGal · 18/02/2022 07:00

If she's at pre school at nursery I found parents seem to respond less at that age. Often if they're not coming they just don't respond at all. If there's 2 weeks to go though, I'd be very surprised if you don't get some replies in the days leading up to the party, or even just showing up on the day.
I'm with you though I always reply pretty much straight away whether we can go or not.

CrackerGal · 18/02/2022 07:01

Best of luck with the party! Sounds like it will be a lot of fun for your dd regardless!

CottonSock · 18/02/2022 07:04

I once went to a nursery party and we were the only guests and they booked a party room at a soft play. Poor parents. I only invited kids of my own friends until my kids were in school. I hope they do the polite thing and rsvp.

daretodenim · 18/02/2022 07:10

I didn't put RSVP on the invites to the first kids' party I organised. Only made that mistake once! There were still people who would reply after the RSVP to say they're coming, but most people managed to reply in time.

We now have WhatsApp groups for parties. It's great because once one parent replies, it nudges others to. Kids can still hand out invites if they want, but there's no problem with them getting lost either. Harder to get everyone's number in nursery, but once school starts, it's much easier - and worth it. Also as your child doesn't have a birthday right at the start of the year, by the time it arrives, you'll have most or all numbers you need!

Footballsundays6777 · 18/02/2022 07:12

Is there a FB group for your preschool? Could you put something on there? Or can you find the people on social
Media and just send a prompt message… ie haven’t heard back from you about Xs party, just checking if Y can make it.

pilates · 18/02/2022 07:16

I would leave it another week and then perhaps write reminder notes and ask for nursery to put in the childrens bags.

SamMil · 18/02/2022 07:36

Could you swap to buffet type foods (or snack box items that you can save if they don't get eaten) and cater for the additional people, just in case?

TeenPlusCat · 18/02/2022 07:45

No RSVP date? Rookie mistake
Second mistake was possibly sending out the invitations 4 weeks ahead, that is imo slightly too far away at that age.

If it is in 2 weeks they are possibly waiting until after half term to reply, especially as it is 'only' a nursery age party. Parents won't prioritise that in the same way they'd prioritise a bowling party for an 8 year old.

I would send out prompts with a let me know by xx message.

Toanewstart23 · 18/02/2022 07:52

Over 2 weeks until the party?

They’ve not left too late. Not been rude.
It was a week away - then yes, they should have replied

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