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Original poster

Thoughts - getting preg at 44

49 replies

Chrestomanciscat · 07/02/2022 13:07

Hello, any experiences or thoughts welcome. I have two children 6 and 7 am 44 and cannot stop thinking about a third child. Am I too old ? Please leave any thoughts or experiences. Thanks

OP posts:
emmathedilemma · 07/02/2022 13:13

According to my gynaecologist, no! Or at least that's what he kept telling me when I said there was no chance i was having kids at this age (i.e. wasn't fussed about treatment options potentially impacting this) and he said plenty of people do.
It might be harder to get pregnant and your risk of complications will be higher than it was when you were younger. Do you also want a big age gap between your kids when the first two are so close in age? You'll potentially have teenagers and a 6/7 year old which is not always easy to satisfy and if your kids go to uni they'll still be there as you head into retirement age so could impact the age at which you retire if you're financially supporting them.

FrankieBoyleSezLoveOneAnother · 07/02/2022 13:15

If you are up for it I don't think you are too old. I wouldn't do it myself - had 1 DC only at age 32 and felt very much in the prime of my life then, by 44 I felt knackered and old!

I know 2 women who had babies at age 45, 1 was a first-time mum who'd more or less given up after many years of trying, the other one was a 2nd-timer, both were fine although I think they'd acknowledge it's more tiring as you get a bit older.

emuloc · 07/02/2022 13:17

The way things are going at the moment. The last thing I would be doing is thinking about having a baby a third baby at 44years old. You have 2children already, I personally would just concentrate on them.

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Somethingsnappy · 07/02/2022 13:21

I had my 4th (surprise!) baby when I was nearly 44 OP. My experience was great. He was actually by far my easiest pregnancy. I was more comfortable, more active and gained very little weight. He's just turned 1 now x

ringoutthebells · 07/02/2022 13:21

The thing is, you could start trying now but how likely is it you would still be 44 by the time the baby came? I'm about to have my second, just after my 43rd bday and feel fine, but I'm not sure I'd push it much further, esp if I already had two close in age.

Original poster
Chrestomanciscat · 07/02/2022 13:21

Thanks for those two MSG's ladies- I really appreciate it. It's a lot to think about as I didn't find having young children easy (post natal dep etc) and I wonder if im feeling that 'last ditch' thing! Xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Chrestomanciscat · 07/02/2022 13:23

Congrats somethingsnappy! ♥️

OP posts:
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 07/02/2022 13:24

I had a ds at 43.2. Then 3 chemicals within 4 months and a mmc at 8 weeks days before I turned 45. I gave up.

Original poster
Chrestomanciscat · 07/02/2022 13:25

Ringoutthebells - that's it isn't it - it's not easy and now that I'm older! Prob be 45 before preg!

OP posts:
Roselilly36 · 07/02/2022 13:26

@Chrestomanciscat

Thanks for those two MSG's ladies- I really appreciate it. It's a lot to think about as I didn't find having young children easy (post natal dep etc) and I wonder if im feeling that 'last ditch' thing! Xx
I can empathise OP, I have never lost that broody feeling since having my two children (grown up now). We stuck with the two and looking back I am pleased we did, as they are more expensive the older they become. Good luck Flowers
Dinosauratemydaffodils · 07/02/2022 13:27

I don't think so. I had my last just before I turned 41. I dont feel old or particularly tired at all. I'm the same age as you and what puts me off another is the thought of trying to balance everyone's wishes re holidays, activities etc. My two are 6 and 3 and already like different things.
My mum's family are Catholic though and up until my generation multiple babies in your 40s was very much the norm. My grandmother, her sister, her mother in law, around six of my great aunts on my maternal grandfather's side and two of my aunts all produced healthy babies in their 40s.

Original poster
Chrestomanciscat · 07/02/2022 13:28

I'm sorry to hear that Easter bunnyiswindowshopping ♥️ it; s a worry given my age and anyway I have two lovely healthy children already; anyway bet your ds is adorable! ♥️

OP posts:
AllAmericanGirl · 07/02/2022 13:30

I'm 36 and feel too old already so who can say? Everyone is different.

I wouldn't just factor in your age. I'd look at the impact on your children and how you essentially be starting right back at the beginning again. It might be hard to seize the moment and enjoy every minute with your older ones when looking after a newborn.

MintJulia · 07/02/2022 13:31

I did it. Was fit & well. Problem-free pregnancy. Ds is 13 now. Seems to have survived the ordealGrin

But he was my first so perhaps I had more energy to start with. Not sure how I would have coped with three.

GrandRapids · 07/02/2022 13:32

It's such a personal decision. You'll get split opinions here.

Personally if it were me, no, definitely not.

I had my one and only at 32. I'm now 39 and exhausted most of the time with various niggly health problems. However for every person like me there will be a dozen very spritely healthy 44 yr olds who would no doubt cope fine.

ehb102 · 07/02/2022 13:32

Nah, not too old. If I didn't have a chronic condition I didn't know about before number 1 I would have had another at that age. Women used to have babies into their 40s all the time before contraception became.more available.

Pixies74 · 07/02/2022 13:47

For me, I wouldn't want to go back to the start - I'm 39 and have a 5-year-old and 3-year-old - when I'm 44, they'll be nearly 11 and nearly 9 and hopefully a bit more independent. Also they get on so well and as fairly close in age they're into the same things.. Even now if we TTC we'd have a nearly 5 and 7 year age gap (DCs are nearly 4 and 6) and they would be at vastly different stages.

MyDcAreMarvel · 07/02/2022 13:51

It’s not too old, but you may struggle to get pregnant. If you really want another baby I would look into ivf if not pregnant within 6-9 months.

MissyB1 · 07/02/2022 13:57

It’s not the having a baby at 45, it’s having a 13 year old when you are late 50s. The child wouldn’t be leaving home until you were 63ish at the earliest.
I had my last at 41, he’s 13 now. He’s a lovely relatively easy kid, but bloody hell I’m knackered! People think it’s the baby stage that’s tiring, believe me the teen stage is far more exhausting.

MyDcAreMarvel · 07/02/2022 13:59

@MissyB1 It’s not the having a baby at 45, it’s having a 13 year old when you are late 50s. The child wouldn’t be leaving home until you were 63ish at the earliest. surely that’s a positive not a negative.

furballfun · 07/02/2022 14:03

Something you may want to consider is that about half of those who conceive at this age miscarry. There's also a higher chance of disabilities. Only you can decide how those affect your decision, but they are realities.

Tufty383 · 07/02/2022 14:49

I personally wouldn't especially if I had 2 dc already. I'd feel like I was pushing my luck a bit. I also couldn't imagine being 50 when my DC started school.

SmallThingsEverywhere · 07/02/2022 14:55

I personally wouldn’t. In my 40’s now and already have 2 kids. Having another now would be a backwards step for me.

SukiPook · 07/02/2022 16:13

I've had my first pregnancy at 45, am 47 now, she's nearly 2. My first consultant didn't think I had a hope but IVF with my own eggs and H's sperm it worked first go (once I eventually changed consultants and was let try it!). I wouldn't change a thing!

MissyB1 · 07/02/2022 17:21

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]**@MissyB1* It’s not the having a baby at 45, it’s having a 13 year old when you are late 50s. The child wouldn’t be leaving home until you were 63ish at the earliest.* surely that’s a positive not a negative.[/quote]
Well not everyone still wants teen kids at home when they could be enjoying a child free retirement. Actually no one is going to be retiring if you still have to support them through Uni.
My point was, it’s not just the baby and toddler stage you need to think of, it’s how old you will be by the time they are grown up.
Oh and menopause with a 10 year old could be tricky too!

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