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Rules you had in your childhood that now seem bizarre?

999 replies

Tattted · 05/02/2022 17:20

As a child/teen living with my parents we were actively discouraged from showering/bathing everyday. It was really frowned upon and seen as unnecessary and probably a bit extravagant. I know probably as a young child I didn’t need to but as I got older and even after I turned 18 and was still living at home they would have been a bit annoyed about it if I wanted to shower everyday . I should say where we live has no water charges so it wasn’t about that. Now as an adult and a mother myself it seems so strange. I realise it’s probably because my parents both came from large families that had very little money and, back then, no hot running water. Even know my parents bath weekly but sink wash every day.

OP posts:
Juletide · 06/02/2022 22:57

Oh yes, I'm old now but I still don't sit on any toilet seat for a wee. The seat only goes down for the serious stuff and never away from home.

I had lots of brothers so perhaps not such a bad rule.

Catra · 06/02/2022 23:01

No watching Neighbours as it would make my brain rot.

Don't eat too much yoghurt or your hair will go curly (?!). I have the straightest hair imaginable and eat yoghurt most days.

Mumwithapub · 06/02/2022 23:20

No standing in front of the fire it will mockle your legs!
Never call ladies by first name always Mrs last name.
Keep curtains closed if someone died until they were buried. Sign of respect my mum said.

ilovepixie · 06/02/2022 23:30

@PuppyMonkey

My dad used to stop whatever he was doing at 4pm on a Sunday and make a boiled egg for himself and my eldest brother. The rule was my sisters and I were not allowed to have one, nor my younger brother. Just my dad and eldest brother. Even if we’d all had a big Sunday lunch around 1-ish.

Nobody ever questioned this.Grin

Did you ever ask why?
ilovepixie · 06/02/2022 23:31

@mizzo

If we were having soup we weren't allowed a drink, "the soup is the drink mizzo" Hmm Even now my Mum bristles if I take her out for lunch and order soup and a drink, which I do frequently to make up for all the times I thought I'd die of thirst because the soup is bloody well not the drink!

I wasn't allowed to shave my legs until my Mum deemed me old enough, I'm early 40's and she still hasn't officially told me I can! I've been happily shaving since 11.

We had the delay between opening presents at Christmas too although I loved it as a child and have repeated for my children.
Not a rule as such parents never got up on Christmas morning to see us opening Father Christmas presents. I find that bizarre as a parent.

I can't have a drink with soup. I have to eat the soup first then have a drink. It's tastes weird otherwise
frazzledfragglefromfragglerock · 06/02/2022 23:35

@Susu49

I think I'm too young for many of these although some of them remind me of my grandparents!

My granny used to wash our hair in the sink when we stayed with her, as still did her own hair that way until she could no longer bend over. Did no-one else do this when they were on limited baths/showers?

My parents used to wash our hair in the sink when very small (under 5) by wrapping us in a towel like a straight jacket, picking us up and putting us headfirst into the sink 🤣 seems completely mad to me now I've remember it!

Also had to have oilatum in our bath because if my sister's eczema, bloody stank!

thinking123 · 06/02/2022 23:45

@The2Omicronnies

It didn’t suffice to switch the socket for hair straighteners off at the wall, we had to physically unplug it.
That's a fairly sensible rule
Serrina · 06/02/2022 23:56

Not a "home" rule, but in infants school we were made to do PE in our vests and pants if we'd forgotten our PE kit, or if the teacher decided to have an impromptu PE lesson. This soon came to an end when I told my mum, who was absolutely horrified and went up the school to have a go at the teachers and told them in no uncertain terms, that this was never to happen again, under any circumstances

lborgia · 07/02/2022 00:00

I know I'm very late with this, but there are a lot of religions/ cultures where women are not allowed to wash during their period. I suppose once the science of germs etc became well known, that must've been the start of allowing some of us to wash?!

So many of these resonate with me, and I laugh now because I thought the BBC and BB2 were the only channels! We had such an old TV it had a dial, not buttons, so even when my mum was watching Corrie, I thought it was bbc2Grin

I don't think children asking to leave the table is old fashioned.. even if I have to go I'll say something. No one just wonders off!

No eating in public, no "anything to do with your person" in public, faffing with hair, filing a nail, adjusting clothes.. it was very difficult for a child/teen with (I now realise) sensory problems! I would end up miserable walking along with a scratchy waistband, or sagging sock... sounds small but it was horrible.

Pocket money for sweets once a week, and nothing else.

Had to polish shoes every Sunday night.

No jeans until I had my own money at 15, awful clothes. Actually so awful that people pitied me rather than taking the piss.

I'm extremely lenient with my kids clothes now, although they're pretty easy for teenagers, I'd never stop them wearing what they want.

I had mummy friends who had big rules about no cartoons etc on clothes, when they were little, and I would've thought I'd be just the same, and I wasn't. It's taken 10 years to realise why! Thanks MN!

39hd93djdh · 07/02/2022 00:02

@user1471554720 a lot of that was familiar - we didn't get a phone until my mid teens, and if you made an outgoing call you were meant to put the money for it by the phone. OK fair enough maybe but ... Once my Dad rang me, and my stepfather didn't realize, thought I'd made an outgoing call - long-distance, too! - without paying, and took the phone away and hid it in the loft.

It wasn't quite as bad as your situation. We did have central heating, but it was before the days of decent insulation - we would get in trouble for having the gas fire on in the front room, so we had to time turning it off so it had cooled down before my stepfather got home. Otherwise, the loud clanking noises as the metal parts of the fire contracted would give the game away!

When I look back, most of the notable weirdness could be traced to the fact my stepfather didn't really want to be spending any money on us; my dad paid as little child maintenance as the courts would allow, Mum didn't have the best career because she got stuck between caring for us and for older relatives (and my stepdad was a bit "Don't want my wife to work"). And what spare money Mum did have went on our education. I had classmates whose parents whacked them with a belt, mind, so at the time I didn't bat an eye at all of this!

Before my Mum remarried we'd been living with our grandma (and then round the corner in a house Mum bought and renovated) and there was not a spare penny to be found during that period, but there wasn't really weird stuff then because we were all one family and pulled together.

In the end that marriage ended in divorce and everyone lived happily and warmly ever after!

I don't think he was a malign man, I expect he just thought he was keeping a firm grip on the household outgoings and making sure the kids weren't spoiled (etc etc). His own family fucked him up a bit and, well, insight and therapy just didn't exist then, so, a bit fucked up was how he stayed!

lborgia · 07/02/2022 00:05

Oh, and maybe voted least likely to happen now - sharing bath water!

My brother and I would have the bath first, shallow, barely over our bums. Then later at night, my mum would top up with lots of hot water, and have a lovely soak, and then my dad would have her bath.. 5 minutes scrubbing, then out!

Gill61 · 07/02/2022 00:14

Wasn’t allowed to cut toenails on a Sunday it was unlucky, Friday was abit iffy too
No bath when you had period as would send you mad
Not allowed to go to bed with wet hair you would catch a cold
Not allowed swimming or a bath until hour after a meal as you could drown
Not allowed to play out on a Sunday wore Sunday best to visit relations
If I left home I could never come back
Not locking bathroom door as could faint in bath then no one could get in
Just a few rules I could think of but I’m sure there’s more.

Nanalisa60 · 07/02/2022 00:19

Lookforwardtosummer

Eternal bow !! That was what I had on my wedding list in 1984 (first marriage) I had the whole set even had a kettle and toaster in it, I thought it was so posh!!

Also I’m laughing at the heating situation in a lot of peoples childhood homes, I think a lot of it was to do with the cost, I’m wondering if a lot more of us will be turning down the heat in our homes very soon for the same reason

Nanalisa60 · 07/02/2022 00:22

Forgot to say best one in our house had to ask to use the phone after six obviously, then my mum would put on the egg timer only three minutes then the call had to end.

toomuchlaundry · 07/02/2022 00:43

We were a non ITV family too

Sportslady44 · 07/02/2022 00:59

Was anyone else's parents funny about the phone ringing when you were having dinner. My dad used to hate it if anyone rung when we were having tea lol.

Houseofvelour · 07/02/2022 01:00

We weren't allowed to put our feet on the sofa because it would 'break the sofa' Hmm

Jux · 07/02/2022 01:49

The Prisoner was required viewing, even though it was shown well past our bedtimes. The parents would actually wake us to bring us downstairs to watch it, they thought it was that important. I kind of agree with them though I'm not sure I would have woken dd for similar.

S0upertrooper · 07/02/2022 02:35

We weren't allowed to watch ITV (or STV in Scotland) only BBC. I'm not sure if it was because of the adverts or because my mum was a bit of a snob (2 bed corporation flat with 4 kids). Not sure how she managed to watch Coronation Street on BBC though 🙄

My DH wasn't allowed to watch Top of the Pops or TV on a Sunday. His DM wasn't "allowed" to hang washing out on a Sunday.

greengrassapreciationsociety · 07/02/2022 03:43

No gas fire unless it was after 7 pm- expected to work in garden to warm up. My father used to hide the knob from the gas fire so we could not have it on when he was at work. Remember having ice ready to cool the top of the gas fire at a time before he got home so he would not know we had found the knob. I am really liberal with heating today because of this micro control on the heat. No central heating of course.
No white socks- they were seen as common. No polyvester. No pierced ears- very common that one. No eating on the street. Radical control of mars bars that had to be sliced thinly and shared out...

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/02/2022 04:49

We had an odd mix of a lot of these rules..

Parents were born in 41 and 43...but fairly old when they had us (80/81)

No drinking with your meal or immediately before - you'd fill up on drink and not eat your food. This wasn't fabulous for me as I had/have a sliding hiatus hernia that was undiagnosed (and wouldn't be for another 38 years!) and really struggled to swallow anything remotely dry or claggy!

Eat what was on the plate or it would be served to you again next meal/or you weren't allowed to leave the table/didn't get any afters (this alternated but one of these always applied). See above - boy did I suffer!

Had to say 'please may I be excused from the table' before leaving the table. Unless we had guests in which case we weren't to ask we had to wait until we were excused. This led to some meals where my sister would fall asleep face down in her food if the guests were particularly interesting/wine flowing/late hour. I don't think I ever did but I've always been a night owl!

No eating whilst out in the street unless sat on a bench - eating whilst climbing a mountain, walking the hills or down a cave - A-OK.

Chocolate and sweets were either not a thing we were allowed at all OR if we were really good, Saturdays were the day. That promise could be removed for any infraction of the rules at any point during the week so effectively, the former applied most of the time.

Heating on from November to March, only if everyone was home, only if it was cold even if you had on several jumpers.

No sitting under a blanket on the sofa!

No eating in the living room/whilst watching TV/outside - except at weekends my father delighted in making himself bacon sandwiches and eating them outside in the garden or in winter, in front of the TV! But we weren't to do same (to be fair, her rule, not his, he really couldn't have cared less!)

Sundays were frankly, frigging horrible - doing chores for mother, which mostly involved being shouted at for not 'using my initiative' *(i now realise.. actually, mind-reading what she would want before she asked, beyond my skills at the ages of 4 upward). There was nothing on TV in the time frame we were permitted to watch it, we didn't go anywhere if we were at home (if we were away we'd be journeying home so that meant car sickness!), shops were all shut... misery!

Baths were shared, 3" deep max - initially the two of us shared a bath, then had our own bath but sharing the same water. Occasionally one (or both when v small) we'd get in the bath with my dad (IF he was in the mood to entertain this) which was A HUGE treat because he'd have the bathwater near overflowing the bath, he'd block the overflow and for a toddler that meant HOT water up to your NECK... omg the joy!!!

Baths were once a week, at the weekend at some point. Strip wash at your sink in your room the rest of the time (yes all the bedrooms had a sink).

ITV we did not watch. I don't recall why, probably avoiding us seeing advertising. BBC was the thing, but no Grange Hill (would turn me into a delinquent clutches pearls. If she'd ever clapped eyes on Byker Grove that would also have been banned, but she had no clue.

Most of it was about saving money tbh - some of it was about not looking common in front of people. Some of it was my mother being batshit.

namechangehistory · 07/02/2022 04:58

@OpheliaTrousersnake

No talking during Gardener's World.

That was the only rule.

Oh gosh this is my rule!
SquirrelG · 07/02/2022 05:53

The saying around here was it's snowing in Paris if your petticoat was showing.

The saying here was it's snowing down south!

Taranta · 07/02/2022 06:01

@WiddlinDiddlin yes I too wasn’t allowed to watch Grange Hill in case it turned me ‘common’!
And I wasn’t allowed to eat anything whilst walking along the road because that was vulgar, apparently.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 07/02/2022 06:39

@WiddlinDiddlin

Parents were born in 41 and 43...but fairly old when they had us (80/81)

Gosh that is really old, I can't image starting a family when you're in your eighties. That's quite impressive - in a number of ways!