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Rules you had in your childhood that now seem bizarre?

999 replies

Tattted · 05/02/2022 17:20

As a child/teen living with my parents we were actively discouraged from showering/bathing everyday. It was really frowned upon and seen as unnecessary and probably a bit extravagant. I know probably as a young child I didn’t need to but as I got older and even after I turned 18 and was still living at home they would have been a bit annoyed about it if I wanted to shower everyday . I should say where we live has no water charges so it wasn’t about that. Now as an adult and a mother myself it seems so strange. I realise it’s probably because my parents both came from large families that had very little money and, back then, no hot running water. Even know my parents bath weekly but sink wash every day.

OP posts:
ThePlumVan · 06/02/2022 21:53

@labsarelife what a lovely post !

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 06/02/2022 21:56

Had to wear petticoats under skirts. If your petticoat was showing you said 'Charlie's dead'!

AcrossthePond55 · 06/02/2022 21:57

I grew up on the US West Coast and some of the things others have posted have made my jaw drop. My 'reasonable rules' were in the 60s/70s.

Always wear Sunday/dressy clothes to go shopping in the 'Big City'. Mum wouldn't have dreamt of wearing her 'everyday' clothes!

No swimming in the sea for 30 minutes after eating. Going in our pool right away was fine, probably because mum was right there to pull us out should we be 'overtaken with cramp'.

No friends over on a Sunday and no going to a friend's house. It was a day of rest for all and sundry. Most of my friends parent's had the same rule. But oddly enough once we became teens (able to get ourselves around and 'hang out' unsupervised) that rule went away. Hmm

No telephoning before 9 am nor after 9 pm. No knocking on doors to play before 9 am or after 8pm or dark, whichever came first. Although I think that's still a pretty good rule.

'Single girls' did not use tampons. One of Mum's more 'sophisticated' friends finally made her see that using a tampon did not make one 'not a virgin'.

'Nice young girls' did not wear makeup or pierce their ears. Cue Mum's sophisticated friend again, God bless her. She had no children of her own but was a real champion on behalf of her many honorary nieces.

My dad's only 'unreasonable' rule was that I was not allowed to go on a date with anyone who drove up in a van. Apparently one couldn't get up to 'funny business' in a sedan. Only a van. Oh Dad, if you only knew!!

AcrossthePond55 · 06/02/2022 21:58

That should say "UNreasonable rules"

blyn72 · 06/02/2022 21:58

@billycat321

we had to eat a couple of slices of bread and butter before we could have our tinned fruit and Bird's custard
Why? I've never heard of that. Supposing you were almost full up from your dinner and didn't want bread? Weird.
Inspectorslack · 06/02/2022 22:01

@TakemedowntoPotatoCity

Had to wear petticoats under skirts. If your petticoat was showing you said 'Charlie's dead'!
Charlie’s dead and The curtains are drawn 😂😂 I’d forgotten that.
halulat · 06/02/2022 22:05

@WowIlikereallyhateyou

Only eat at the table No Tampax No ear piercing until 16+ On pancake day we had to have a big dinner and pancakes for pudding. I always longed for just pancakes, but that was forbidden!! No slip on school shoes Red clothes/shoes forbidden
All of these!!
justasking111 · 06/02/2022 22:07

@Holothane

Told until 17 when I finally got a pair 0f jeans I was too fat for them, was told I was big until I left at 22 to go to college. 35 years later I looked at some photos of me aged 19 I looked so thin, in fact I cried. The photos were destroyed.
So sorry my DM said much the same plus that I was not pretty. There's a few pictures of me with the kids. I was slim and pretty. OH didn't pay compliments either so I never knew. 😪
Shortkiwi · 06/02/2022 22:10

Very similar rules to others!
No ITV allowed, well definitely not the news! I still only watch BBC news.
Pillow cases for Father Christmas and he was never called Santa. (Presents unwrapped within pillowcase)
Pierced ears were considered common by my Mum but was allowed at 15.
Might have just been my Dad but definitely no sitting on the arm of the sofa, which was called settee, in case of weakening it. He also went ballistic if we slammed the car door.
We were from Liverpool and had stew each week, I only recently twigged it was ‘Scouse’ but we obviously never called it that, too common!
No elbows on the table or singing at the table. Knife and fork had to be held correctly.
Had to go to mass every Sunday until we left home.
House had to be tidied within an inch of it’s life before anyone visited. It was a disaster if anyone popped by unannounced. I’ve inherited this approach unfortunately!

Weepah · 06/02/2022 22:10

Funnily enough, as an adult I met someone whose grandmother received a mild shock from the TV during a lightning storm. she was sitting in her recliner quite close to the set when a bolt of lightening hit the house and a light shot out of the screen and zapped her. The whole family witnessed it. so maybe my Gran was on to something.

Shortkiwi · 06/02/2022 22:15

At my senior school everyone had to wear the same outdoor shoe from Clarks. Indoor shoes (Jesus sandals) had to be worn within school!

justasking111 · 06/02/2022 22:16

Lightning hit our house the TV sky box, computer and the Miele washing machine which had computer stuff in it all destroyed.

So yes I do unplug those things when we get a bad lightning storm now

Serrina · 06/02/2022 22:17

Wasn't allowed my ears pierced because "if God wanted us to have holes in our ears, he'd have made us that way" so I sneaked off and got them done. My mum wasn't best pleased!

Papergirl1968 · 06/02/2022 22:17

The saying around here was it's snowing in Paris if your petticoat was showing.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 06/02/2022 22:17

I've only just opened this thread so haven't read everything but as a 60s. child I completely understand having posh clothes for mass that I would never wear on any other occasion. I remember little crimplene dresses and jackets a la Chanel/Jackie O particularly.

On a day to day level I wasn't supposed to watch ITV (one of the 3 channels available back then) in case I picked up a regional accent! Although bizarrely my Irish granny was my primary carer and she was addicted to Crossroads and I watched it most days. So a Waterford or Brummy accent was Ok.

Wavingnotdowning · 06/02/2022 22:18

At 14 my father called me a prostitute and knocked me across the lounge because I had pink nail polish on my toe nails. To this day I have a pedicure every six weeks. I have only recently realised that I have been sticking two fingers up at him for years. He was a controlling bastard.

RosesAndHellebores · 06/02/2022 22:22

I wonder what will be the 2020's equivalent if this thread?

RosesAndHellebores · 06/02/2022 22:23

@wavingnotdowning that's horrific.

MaMaLa321 · 06/02/2022 22:33

never, ever sit on the toilet seat when you're away from home

looking back there was all sorts of weird physical stuff my mum used to do (control issues I guess). like, insist that she picked our blackheads or cut our (apparently) ingrowing toenails. Also, my voice was (she said) nasal so I had to lie on the floor and she put salt water in my nostrils. I couldn't move until I had sniffed it up.

Oh yes, my dead uncle's old brushed cotton nightshirts were torn up and given to me as sanitary towels.

It's surprising I'm pretty normal, considering, though I still have issues with my mum

Pliudev · 06/02/2022 22:35

My mother said that I 'would never be anything when I grew up' if I sat too close to the television. My father tried to persuade me not to go to art school because it would be bad for my eyes.

itchychin · 06/02/2022 22:35

I was also told having your back to the fire will make you sick 😳. At grandparent’s house in the 70s/80s I always seemed to be sat for meals with my back to the fire where they’d put a towel on the back of the chair to deflect the heat! I was terrified of being sick in general so this was not great, but what is this logic?!

Auntycorruption · 06/02/2022 22:40

@user1471554720

One bath a week with about 2 inches of water. When I was a teen and my hair got greasy, I boiled a kettle and washed it every 3 days. Immersion only put on once a week fir a bath. It was a big deal to get my mother to put it on. I would boil a kettle of water every morning for washing underarms.

We couldn't help ourselves to fresh knickers and socks every day. I used to change knickers every 3 days. After 2 days if knickers sweaty, I had to show my mother and ask her to give me fresh ones. My mother had the hot press organised with clothes aired well in one bundle, newly washed in another etc. My father was not even allowed help himself to anything out of the hot press.

We didn't own dressing gowns, these were for wonen getting up at night feeding a baby. A few times when I was sick and couldn't get dressed, I put on my outdoor coat over my nightie.

Had to get dressed each morning straightaway, also had to put on full clothes after the once weekly bath, no louging around watching TV in a nightie of an evening.

Heating was sparse and I was always cool despite wearing lots of layers. When I was sick I went to school as it was warmer than at home. Got sent home a few times sick.

No inviting friends to ours or me going to sleepovers or birthday parties ever. I didn't go to friends houses as 'we would have to ask them to our house'. It felt very miserable as a teen, nothing to look forward to. As a teen, I asked my mother if I could arrange to meet a friend in town while she did the food shop. We were rural. She said no, as she didn't want to be stuck to a time and wanted the freedom to do a food shop at anytime Sat morning.

No going out for nights with anyone of either sex. An odd night out was arranged when I was late teen but it would be arranged for weeks in advance with a friend. If my friend pullef out, another night wouldn't happen for months again. I often cried when a friend said she 'didn't feel like going out'. I was rural and had to get driven by my parents so I didn't gave the luxury of choosing to go out or not just on a whim. I was in college at 18, staying with my granny in town. I mentioned to my mother about going on a date. She started saying 'I don't know, getting ready to stop me!!! I said I am not asking her, I am informing her that I am going.

No going out for meals on birthdays. No going for a cup of coffee if we were in town. Eat enough at home. No eating chips on the street in the town 10 miles away as people would think we didn't have a dinner at home. It was fine at the seaside 50 miles away. The first time I ate chips in the street as an adult after a night out I felt guilty.

We only had 2 channels of tv so not much fights about programmes.

No phone until I was 20. Once I answered it and my father thought i had made a call. I couldn't reason and he tried to stick me with the bill. From then on I never answered it. If my parents answered it and my friend was on they would call me to the phone. At least they would know I had not made a call. A few times I heard the phone ringing and went out to bring in clothes off the line, any excuse so I don't have to answer and be accused of making a call. I wouldn't call parents to the phone if it rang as I was bitter about being accused in the wrong.

How old are you? This is crossing the line from nostalgic onto abusive IMO
BabyDereksToes · 06/02/2022 22:49

Gosh,I think my family was a lot more normal than I'd realised. The only thing I can think of is that I had to have short hair, and when I got to about age 9 I had a perm without my consent! Apparently my hair is too straight and fine to be allowed any longer. When I got 13 I decided I was growing it and have had mostly long hair since then. I hated having short hair and have always let my kids have their hair however they want it. I think my mum was just too lazy to look after it.
We had no rules about food or TV. We could watch any channel. Bathe whenever we wanted, bathe more during period, if anything!

Suzanne999 · 06/02/2022 22:53

@LaQuern

No washing of hair or having a bath when you had your period. Tampons were only to be used by married women, likewise you could only get cystitis if you were married (and my mother was so convinced this was the truth that she read the leaflet in a box of Cymalon three times as she 'read it on it').

Luckily my relationship had deteriorated with her so much by my early teens that I just ignored her and her 'advice' for the bollocks that it was

Not just my barmy mother with the cystitis thing then! I can remember being in agony, crying that it hurt to wee. Parents refused to let me see a doctor as children couldn’t get cystitis and told me it was because I’d eaten too many biscuits…… Made to eat every bit of every meal and if I didn’t I got the remains for my next meal ( cold, of course). I remember being given liver for breakfast and as I refused to eat it , it reappeared at lunchtime.
2ndMrsdeWinter · 06/02/2022 22:54

So much absolute bollocks that I wouldn’t know where to even start.

I was only allowed to wear mascara and eyeshadow until I was 15 as face makeup was purely for adults. Even then, she only let me because I kicked up a stink over it.

Lots of other weird beauty/fashion/lifestyle rules she made me abide by. So strange!