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Rules you had in your childhood that now seem bizarre?

999 replies

Tattted · 05/02/2022 17:20

As a child/teen living with my parents we were actively discouraged from showering/bathing everyday. It was really frowned upon and seen as unnecessary and probably a bit extravagant. I know probably as a young child I didn’t need to but as I got older and even after I turned 18 and was still living at home they would have been a bit annoyed about it if I wanted to shower everyday . I should say where we live has no water charges so it wasn’t about that. Now as an adult and a mother myself it seems so strange. I realise it’s probably because my parents both came from large families that had very little money and, back then, no hot running water. Even know my parents bath weekly but sink wash every day.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 05/02/2022 23:56

DM obsessed with my virginity so no makeup, no tights, no trendy clothes or shoes until I became a teenager. Pierced ears banned. I had to wear socks over my tights when I was finally allowed them. Tampons never discussed too rude.

When I got a weekend job finally had money I bought some pretty clothes came home one day to find that she had ripped them all up and strewn them across my bedroom. I realized then she was nuts

justasking111 · 05/02/2022 23:59

It's no wonder we all left home at a young age, nowadays I can't get rid of mine probably because I was aware scared of turning into my mother so was more hands off parenting wise

strawberriesarenot · 05/02/2022 23:59

@justasking111

DM obsessed with my virginity so no makeup, no tights, no trendy clothes or shoes until I became a teenager. Pierced ears banned. I had to wear socks over my tights when I was finally allowed them. Tampons never discussed too rude.

When I got a weekend job finally had money I bought some pretty clothes came home one day to find that she had ripped them all up and strewn them across my bedroom. I realized then she was nuts

Oh, you poor thing. That is so sad.
FangsForTheMemory · 06/02/2022 00:01

Not allowed to mention wee or poo or any bodily function. I had no word for my vagina because until I was ten I didn't even know I had one. One biscuit only at a time. Two baths only a week including when my periods started, which was gross. As soon as I moved out I started to bathe daily.

Bumply · 06/02/2022 00:01

I remember watching Dr Who from behind the sofa as a young child, but apparently this was only in winter months, as the TV was hired (the done thing in those days) and sent back in summer so we'd play outside.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/02/2022 00:04

I forgot the dress standards.

No red at all, ever, anywhere. Fuschia pink was allowed from the age of 13 (why when it was such a hideous colour?), but never red.

Green was similarly banned.

Black was banned.

No yellow.

No grey.

No brown.

No white except a school shirt, socks (no stripes allowed, by the way) or underwear.

I think I spent the entire time in blue one way or another, as pastels really, really did not suit me at all.

No nail varnish of any type. In fact, no nail scissors or clippers, either - it was expected to bite off the fingernails to keep them short and to pick off the toenails.

Studs were acceptable, but creole earrings were absolutely not. No necklaces, no bracelets, no chains, no rings and absolutely nothing to adorn the feet, which had to be covered at all times other than in the bath, preferably with both socks and shoes.

The only time it was permitted to not wear socks or underwear was when in the bath once a week for one hour exactly from when the water was turned on.

Hair had to be permanently in a tight pony tail at the back of the head, secured with a rubber band and then scraped back with a needle sharp hairbrush dragged over the scalp and through the many tangles (as conditioner or shampoo suitable for hair was a profligate waste of money) as the old band was torn out of the rats nest and replaced the following morning. I think this one was something to do with headlice prevention, as it also included forbidding the sitting next to anybody close enough for heads to touch or ever using somebody else's hairbrush.

It was all a bit shit, really.

Shivvy1 · 06/02/2022 00:05

@BakedTattie

We were absolutely FORBIDDEN to touch the windows in our car when I was young. We weren’t allowed to eat in the car either. No way.

My dad now takes my children to mcdonalds drive through, they all come home happily eating their meals in the car. My kids are also allowed to breathe on the car windows and ‘draw’ with their finger in the condensation.

Talk about favouritism

Same lol. Dad was so particular about his cars, still is now but grandkids allowed to eat drink in car and we never were lol
RosesAndHellebores · 06/02/2022 00:06

I'd love to know how old everyone is. My mother was/is far from perfect and I was never pretty enough for her but thank goodness she taught me:

How to do my hair and to have it highlighted.
How to put on make-up
To shave legs and pits and always be squeaky clean
How to stand tall and own and work a room socially
How to hail a taxi
How to tip
How to sit gracefully and how to stand for a picture
The facts of life, how to say no, and where contraception came from - that nice girls certainly do so know how to keep out of "trouble"
How to keep safe when out and about
To keep my keys in my pocket not my bag.

SGBK4682 · 06/02/2022 00:08

Yes, no ITV as it was 'common'. I still associate The Golden Shot with being on my grandparent's (nasty, depressing) flat as that was the only time I saw ITV until we rebelled as teenagers.

We had to ask to 'get down' from the table too. Must have been a thing in the 1970s?

Also staying in bed when ill. I tried to get my kids to do it but they refused and dragged duvets down to the living room...and why not? Mind you, there was no daytime tv when I was little except for Watch with Mother so no particular point in being downstairs.

Having to wear your best clothes to visit or receive visits from relatives. Took me decades to drop that one. Having best clothes!

Nowayoutonlydown · 06/02/2022 00:14

We were never allowed out of our rooms unless the adults of the house were up.
I left home at 17 as a parent myself. Even during labour, and night feeds, I wasn't allowed out of my room despite my room being the dining room.
It's recently resurfaced in my mind as DD is 14, and I'll oftentimes hear her go downstairs for a drink in the middle of the night, or get up early in the morning and have breakfast before her alarm goes off and it just sits in mind hoe weird it was that we couldn't leave our rooms.

Oh and we weren't allowed to drink out of glasses. Just normal hi-ball glasses. They were for adults apparently.

All made even stranger by the fact that I was cooking dinner for the family by the ahe of 12. Pretty much given adult responsibilities, but had those weird rules to live by!

Marcipex · 06/02/2022 00:19

Periods were still coldly almost unmentionable, the swinging sixties etc had not touched our area. Awkward.

Tampax ONLY allowed. Although unmentionable. Awkward-see above.

Sanitary towels NOT allowed. (In case they blocked the drains, I think )
Bin in bathroom totally unthinkable (awkward)

Bathroom door didn’t lock-awkward.

So teenage life was …awkward.

SquirrelG · 06/02/2022 00:19

@mizzo I’m with your mum on the soup and drink, I can’t have both it’s just wrong Grin

Same here.

GrannytoaUnicorn · 06/02/2022 00:20

@Christmas1988

School uniform should be worn for two or three days without being washed, I’d hate my children to go to school without freshly washed and ironed shirts.
Hmm Don't be ridiculous! They don't need to have freshly washed uniform EVERY day! 🤣

Every two days unless any marks anywhere.

I have a feeling your children will be commenting on a thread like this in the future, followed by 🙄😆

FortunesFave · 06/02/2022 00:25

My Mum told me that if I slept around, it would "show on my face" and that people can always tell if a girl is promiscuous.

Taytocrisps · 06/02/2022 00:26

Lots of rules like these but mostly due to the cost of things. My Mam and Dad raised five kids on one very low wage.`

Baths every Saturday night (once a week) so we'd be clean for mass on Sunday morning. Using the immersion to heat water was very expensive. There was a shower in the bathroom but we couldn't use it because it leaked through to the kitchen underneath.

On Sunday mornings we could have a fry up or cereal for breakfast. But not both.

My friend (and her siblings) often had a bowl of cereal in the evening or before bed. When I suggested this, my Mam was horrified. Cereal was for mornings only. Anyway, we went through enough cereal as it was. Cereal was Weetabix only as it was considered to be cheaper than Cornflakes or Rice Krispies. If we went on holidays, Mam relented and we got to have Cornflakes or Rice Krispies - that was such a treat.

Mam was always talking about how expensive eggs were. Dad would have a boiled egg for his tea and we five kids would fight over who got the top of the egg.

Some of the rules were religious ones (Roman Catholic). So, we had to attend mass on Sundays and on holy days of obligation. We had to go to confession on Saturdays. No eating meat on Fridays. Good Friday was a day of fasting and abstinence. You weren't supposed to drink alcohol on Good Friday and the pubs were closed to enforce this. Restaurants weren't allowed to serve alcohol. The ban on selling alcohol on Good Friday was only lifted in 2018!

Like a previous poster, we had to call our parents' friends Auntie or Uncle. It was considered disrespectful to call them by their first name. Friends' parents were called Mrs. Murphy or Mr. O'Reilly. It was also considered rude or grasping to accept tea or food if you visited someone else so you'd have to play the Mrs. Doyle game of "Will you have a cup of tea?", "Ah no, I'm grand", before reluctantly accepting the tea/sandwich/biscuits.

Mam also warned us not to have baths when we were menstruating because she heard of some girl who had a haemorrhage in the bath and died. But we ignored that rule.

FortunesFave · 06/02/2022 00:27

@RosesAndHellebores

I'd love to know how old everyone is. My mother was/is far from perfect and I was never pretty enough for her but thank goodness she taught me:

How to do my hair and to have it highlighted.
How to put on make-up
To shave legs and pits and always be squeaky clean
How to stand tall and own and work a room socially
How to hail a taxi
How to tip
How to sit gracefully and how to stand for a picture
The facts of life, how to say no, and where contraception came from - that nice girls certainly do so know how to keep out of "trouble"
How to keep safe when out and about
To keep my keys in my pocket not my bag.

Yes, can you share any of the snippets she gave you about working a room socially? I'm terrible at that and feel quite bad that I can't teach my own children.
SquirrelG · 06/02/2022 00:29

I'm 62 and I don't remember any strange rules, other than the don't swallow your chewing gum one. I always used to swallow it - and still do. I did have friends whose mother would never let us go into their bedrooms when I was there, which I thought a bit odd.

GrannytoaUnicorn · 06/02/2022 00:31

@Benjispruce5

Re Santa presents. I had a pillowcase at the end of my bed and woke up to open it on Christmas Day with4 waking my parents. The gifts weren’t wrapped either-so much easier for them. We’d then t add me them in to show them what we got. 1970s.
Omg! You're the only other person I've ever come across who had a pillowcase for Santa presents! 🎅🏻
ponkydonkey · 06/02/2022 00:31

I'm 50 and I remember my mum telling me about all the ridiculous rules she had at home.
So she was the exact opposite,

I was allowed
All lights blazing
Bath whenever I wanted
Takeaways on Fridays
To eat chips in the street
Eat anything I liked when I got home
Had a tv in my room and a video player from age 10

My nan wouldn't even ask to use the neighbours phone to call an ambulance for me when I broke my arm in several places, and made me walk to the doctors! Gp was horrified

Scianel · 06/02/2022 00:33

Omg! You're the only other person I've ever come across who had a pillowcase for Santa presents!

I had one as well, on the foot of my bed.

Charlize43 · 06/02/2022 00:35

My mother had dozens of these rules.

No smoking while walking in the street as she considered it very unladylike. If you wanted a cigarette when outside you'd have to find a cafe to sit and smoke it or a park bench.

Absolutely no 'sportswear' to be worn at the dining table.

She always applied her lipstick immediately after eating or drinking. It was a kind of mania with her. She hated not wearing any.

Never run anywhere. I don't think I ever saw my mother rush for anything or anyone. Ever.

Weird stuff, like you'd never sleep in a room with a vase of flowers, it would have to be removed at night.

Pillows and cushions should never be put on the floor.

Not being allowed to be bare foot. We always had to wear slippers or shoes.

GrannytoaUnicorn · 06/02/2022 00:35

@Scianel

Omg! You're the only other person I've ever come across who had a pillowcase for Santa presents!

I had one as well, on the foot of my bed.

Smile
godmum56 · 06/02/2022 00:36

@Scianel

Omg! You're the only other person I've ever come across who had a pillowcase for Santa presents!

I had one as well, on the foot of my bed.

Yup, me too.
Wineisrequired · 06/02/2022 00:40

God some of these comments bring back some horrid memories, my stepdad was very strict and I left home at 18 to escape. We had some really odd rules .

Always had to have my long hair tied back when eating meals at the table.

Not allowed to get up until my mum and dad were up. No wandering around in nightwear.

No loud music to be played . I remember the electric being turned off in several occasions when my brother played iron maiden at full belt .

Sex and periods never discussed so I had to ask my auntie for any info or help. I remember the time my tampax were found in the bathroom and my stepdad went off on one .

My mum got a phone put in and it was moved into the shed as my stepdad hated our friends ringing . I lost my place at college as they kept trying to ring me but obviously I couldn’t answer the call.

I actually got called a slut for wearing a miniskirt.

A brand new huge lockup shed was put up in the garden but I wasn’t allowed to put my Vespa scooter in it . It had to stay outside under a makeshift cover .

I now look back and think my stepdad has serious mental health issues. So glad I got as far away from that as soon as I could . I now have an 18 year old son and I would never treat him like that .

RosesAndHellebores · 06/02/2022 00:42

@FortunesFave it's all about smiling, making eye contact, "how lovely to see you, how well you look, are you just back from......" "oh hello, did we meet last year at Glyndebourne perhaps, you look awfully familiar, oh my mistake I'm Roses Hellebores (tinkly laugh) so pleased to meet you John, how do you know Julian". Blah, blah, blah. I did once nearly come unstuck though when a tall, dark haired geezer looked familiar and I realised just in time he was Seb Coe".

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