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Original poster

How much allowance do you give your adult dc who are still in 6th form?

36 replies

Upyouranty · 04/02/2022 17:46

We’ve asked Dd to stop working in her job because she was doing far to many shifts. Dd wanted to stay and do the minimum 4 hours - but the pressure to just do Thursday etc would have resulted in us fighting with her for the remainder of the school year as she would have got dragged into extra hours and neglect her schoolwork.
How much money would you give your 18 yr old weekly for a few months until A levels are finished?

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 04/02/2022 17:47

I think they need a break from studying … whether that’s a part time job, a hobby.

Arghhconfused · 04/02/2022 17:48

If you made her quit her job then you should give her the same amount that she earned as a minimum. Such a shame you made her quit.

Imsittinginthekitchensink · 04/02/2022 17:49

How much is she losing by not working? I think you should giving her that at least seeing as you are stopping her working.
Mine is only in y11 and doesn't get much but due to various circumstance doesn't really need much.

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18 years old Families
ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 04/02/2022 17:50

Whatever she’s lost by quitting the job that she didn’t want to quit.

skippy67 · 04/02/2022 17:53

Whatever she was earning from the job I made her quit. Not that I would've done that in the first place...

DelurkingAJ · 04/02/2022 17:55

Work out a realistic budget with her. Excellent practice for when she’s out in the real world. Factor in any nice to haves that you can afford…so, will you cover her buying family birthday presents or friends as well.

Original poster
Upyouranty · 04/02/2022 17:56

@Arghhconfused

If you made her quit her job then you should give her the same amount that she earned as a minimum. Such a shame you made her quit.
We didn’t make her quit!! She has taken a couple of months off with support of her boss and will go back as soon as she’s finished her A levels. At one point she was doing 30 hours and attendance at 6 th form had dropped significantly.
OP posts:
HasaDigaEebowai · 04/02/2022 17:57

She’s not an adult in she’s still in 6th form

Svara · 04/02/2022 17:57

@BigSandyBalls2015

I think they need a break from studying … whether that’s a part time job, a hobby.
I agree. I was working 24 hours a week around sixth form, four hours two nights a week and both days weekends. That was too much but I wouldn't have a problem with an 18 year old doing four hours for a change from studying, some experience and spending money!
Original poster
Upyouranty · 04/02/2022 17:58

@DelurkingAJ

Work out a realistic budget with her. Excellent practice for when she’s out in the real world. Factor in any nice to haves that you can afford…so, will you cover her buying family birthday presents or friends as well.
This is good advice. Thank you
OP posts:
Kite22 · 04/02/2022 17:58

Well, I wouldn't make them leave their job.
Apart from the money, it adds a lot of other things to their locker.

If you are dictating that, then it would seem reasonable that you at least replace the money she was willing to go out and earn.

MyDcAreMarvel · 04/02/2022 18:00

My dd year 12 gets , £40 a week, bus/train pass, and her phone paid. I pay for her lunches also. She works for just one 90 mins job a week and gets paid £7.

Original poster
Upyouranty · 04/02/2022 18:01

@HasaDigaEebowai

She’s not an adult in she’s still in 6th form
DD’s 18 - but I know what you mean.
OP posts:
Original poster
Upyouranty · 04/02/2022 18:01

Thank you @MyDcAreMarvel

OP posts:
Metallicalover · 04/02/2022 18:03

I used to work around 12-15 hours per week when I was at 6th form. More in school holidays.
She's 18! She needs to learn to balance studies and education. If the attendance at school is reduced there's nothing you can do apart from have these 'fights'.What you going to do if she goes to uni?? At 6th form and college they treat them like adult learners.
Tbh I really disliked 6th form and wasn't very academic.

Hoppinggreen · 04/02/2022 18:04

17 year old DD get £20 pw for food and £10pw as an allowance plus incentive bonuses
She has no out goings as no bus fairs and we pay for her phone

Original poster
Upyouranty · 04/02/2022 18:14

@Metallicalover

I used to work around 12-15 hours per week when I was at 6th form. More in school holidays. She's 18! She needs to learn to balance studies and education. If the attendance at school is reduced there's nothing you can do apart from have these 'fights'.What you going to do if she goes to uni?? At 6th form and college they treat them like adult learners. Tbh I really disliked 6th form and wasn't very academic.
You make sense. I know exactly what you mean.

Dd likes working and does not like 6th form. She’s applied for a couple of apprenticeships because she doesn’t want to go to Uni- Dd is desperate to get in to the apprenticeship-
But she needs her a level results.

We did not ‘make’ Dd quit her job. When she approached us about her stress about getting into the apprenticeship and asked our opinion - we said we thought she was working to much and we would be happy to financially support her in the next few months until she finished if she stopped working so much.

I shouldn’t have said quit though tbh - she’s really taken a sabbatical with her bosses approval.

OP posts:
Original poster
Upyouranty · 04/02/2022 18:14

Thanks @Hoppinggreen

OP posts:
lljkk · 04/02/2022 18:20

Pocket money here stops at 17th birthday.
DS (17) doesn't study at all wouldn't study more if he wasn't working fewer hours.
DS has £7k in the bank (mostly his earnings).
We do pay for his phone & train pass.

Original poster
Upyouranty · 04/02/2022 18:22

7k 🤯 wow

Thanks @lljkk

OP posts:
lljkk · 04/02/2022 18:26

He doesn't like spending... so far!

Metallicalover · 04/02/2022 18:26

6th form isn't for a lot of people. I found it harder than at uni studying nursing. I'm more practical minded and apprenticeship would have been more suitable for me also.
A lot of 16-18 year olds I've noticed recently don't look for part time jobs as parents are paying for them and wanting to 'concentrate' on studying. I learnt a lot from working in a kitchen and waitressing from age 16-18. So I'm always a strong advocate for 16 year olds to work as well as study. I also couldn't believe what I used to do some weeks I would be at school all day, go to work 4 hours, go out for student night in town then go to school the next day fresh as a daisy! 🤣 couldn't do that now!
I've found a lot of nursing students who have came straight from school and haven't had a job before find it really hard to adjust to studying, placements and a job around that.

Ginandcrispsarebliss · 04/02/2022 18:35

My DD gets £100 a month from us and her phone paid. She has alot of studies but will help me at home, checking in on her Nan (MIL lives next door) she is very helpful and does knuckle down with school work.

Wandamakesporridge · 04/02/2022 18:36

OP I think it’s great you are offering to support her until she’s finished her studies. As you say she hasn’t quit, just taking a few months off until her A levels are finished which isn’t that far away.

At our 6th form we have some students who are working crazy long hours, come to school knackered and can’t concentrate. Unfortunately I think some employers take advantage of their age and inexperience and pressure them to do more hours / late shift etc. It’s easier for the students to skip school than say no to an employer. Some parents just aren’t that bothered about it - the kids are out of their hair so they don’t get involved.

I do completely agree that having a job is a great experience and gives good skills, but it does need to be balanced with studying, unless they aren’t that bothered about grades. I think your compromise of a sabbatical until after the exams is a good plan.

Bosephine · 04/02/2022 18:38

DS gets £200 a month, phone paid and we cover things like school uniform (well, suit for school) and sports kit.

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