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Original poster

Help it's a MIL one...

29 replies

mrsdaltongrant · 02/02/2022 20:06

Come ON MNers help me out.

Pre-covid MIL was childcare. Dropped in PJs ( i commuted to London) She'd get ready for school and drop and pick up and give dinner and drop to clubs!

During covid quite stressed as we were pulled apart same and everyone else.

Another baby later and MIL has resumed super nanny role and collects baby so I can cycle older kids to school. Helps with pickups when we have after school clubs at different times and will generally do ANYTHING asked of her as long as she is around...

I want to get something but maybe a regular something any ideas?

I was thinking flowers? Ahe does love a vase of flowers....any other better ideas?

Thanks x

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 02/02/2022 20:08

Flower box subscription?

Tiramysu · 02/02/2022 20:08

A vase for the flowers?

Isthisjustnormal · 02/02/2022 20:08

Ahhh, she sounds amazing!! How about a flower subscription so she gets seasonal flowers every month??

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Families
Tiramysu · 02/02/2022 20:09

@JohnLapsleyParlabane

Flower box subscription?
Yes this is a good idea. Bloom and Wild do a good one, you can choose each month what they get
Holly60 · 02/02/2022 20:11

Oh my goodness this is so refreshing to read and so lovely.

Just show her what you have written and she will be made up Grin.

You and your MIL sound equally lovely and I doubt she needs anything other than what she has in you and your children. The odd bottle of wine or box of chocs will be more than enough

ShirleyPhallus · 02/02/2022 20:14

I think the biggest gift you could give her is to gently double check she’s happy with the arrangement and doesn’t feel too exhausted or anything, absolutely nothing to suggest that’s the case but it’s always nice to check in with people like this in case they suddenly feel like the balance has tipped a little far

Otherwise, a flower subscription is a nice idea. Wine and gin subscriptions are also nice, or you could gift her something like a pamper box / voucher for a nice local restaurant / night away.

pussycatunpickingcrossesagain · 02/02/2022 20:17

Could you take her out for an evening meal - just you and her - or maybe a theatre trip?

ANameChangeAgain · 02/02/2022 20:19

After childcare my mil always has wine cracked open 🙃, what about a wine or gin subscription?

LittleLego · 02/02/2022 20:20

She sounds amazing, could I borrow her?

Flower / gin / beauty subscription if either are her thing. Or random spa hotel vouchers as and when just to say how much you appreciate her

RomeoMcFlourish · 02/02/2022 20:22

When I was doing some regular childcare for a relative she used to buy me some COOK vouchers. I refused when she offered me cash as I wasn’t doing it for financial gain, I’m not a drinker and don’t like cut flowers so wouldn’t have got much out of those personally, but loved the vouchers as it meant that sometimes after a busy day with her DC I could go home and just throw a decent meal together in just a few minutes.

fatshitcrazy · 02/02/2022 20:25

My friend has a Freddie's Flowers subscription and the flowers have been gorgeous every time

Jacaranda75 · 02/02/2022 20:25

Please tell her from me how amazing she is for doing all of this. You are very lucky, OP. As are your DC. My in-laws live 10 mins down the road and we NEVER see them. They just aren’t interested in us.

WashableVelvet · 02/02/2022 20:28

My mum has Freddie’s Flowers and they’re gorgeous - nicer than bloom and wild I think (probably more expensive too)

thistimelastweek · 02/02/2022 20:29

She totally needs a hug and thanks

Trust me, that's all us helping-out grannies want .

Aquamarine1029 · 02/02/2022 20:31

I hope you're paying her. Sorry, but some daft flowers won't cut it.

Layouthelpplease · 02/02/2022 20:32

Was definitely expecting that post to turn out differently! Lovely to read and so lovely she's appreciated.

Does she have any hobbies you could work around? Knitting, crochet, gin, cheese, make up? Magazine subscription, plant subscription, regular massages/nails/spa days? Membership to anywhere she'd enjoy? Cinema unlimited pass?

lololololollll · 02/02/2022 20:33

@Aquamarine1029

I hope you're paying her. Sorry, but some daft flowers won't cut it.
😂😂 here it is!
DepthOfTheAbyss · 02/02/2022 20:34

Spend time with her. Invite her over for her company, not for what she can do. Take her out somewhere nice, get her a massage or facial, get kids to make her cards and cakes.

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 02/02/2022 20:36

I'm not a MIL but I helped a close family member with childcare nearly everyday and would never have took a penny of them, they repeatedly offered to be fair.

Invite her out with you guys for a day trip to her favourite places. Flowers and a card went down nice, with a simple message inside telling her how much you appreciate her.

saraclara · 02/02/2022 20:45

I don' do anything like as much as that, and obviously wouldn't ever take a penny for what I do. But every so often my DD will just turn up with 'something she saw and knew I'd like'. Nothing huge- could just be a particular cake with a certain ingredient that I like, or a book about a favourite place that I've travelled to (maybe from a charity shop).

It's that these little gestures are thoughtful and personal (and absolutely randomly timed) that means a lot. And I can only imagine that from a DIL they'd mean even more, because of course you didn't grow up knowing about her favourite stuff. It would show that you know her and think about her when you're out and about shopping etc.

Original poster
mrsdaltongrant · 02/02/2022 20:46

Thanks for so many replies. I was thinking flower subscription already. Freddie's I see got a couple of votes!

Actually I don't often hug her. I probably should she had 3 boys and two of them probably never hug her (one is my husband!!)

She won't want cash and she won't accept it. She loves M&S but she always got a voucher knocking around and I feel its a bit too thoughtless.

Her hobbies are looking after the family. She is the pivotal role. She's not a drinker and chocolates would be ok but they're almost always shared out with all the kids anyway Grin.

I think vases are plentiful there...so might avoid that for now unless the baby nukes one!

In fact she is redoing her bathroom so maybe snazzy something for there once is done and I can spy the decor. Jo Malone candle or something.

@Aquamarine1029

Hahaha haha I'm sure payment of a non registered childminder is against MN rules. If she wanted paying I'd pay her....and I wouldn't be on here looking for suggestions... numpty comment!

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsdaltongrant · 02/02/2022 21:00

@saraclara also yes but she is so nice I don't think she'd ever say if she didn't like something....actually thinking about it she could probably do with updates grandchildren pictures...

It's sounds so one way but it isn't, but they really are kind lovely people just wanting to make all out lives as stress free as possible.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsdaltongrant · 02/02/2022 21:02

@HopeYourHighHorseBucks yes I'll look for a lovely card on etsy!

OP posts:
Talipesmum · 02/02/2022 21:07

I’d get the older kids to make her a picture or something with baby footprints on it, photos of them all with her, and get them to give it to her as a present.

Bonbon21 · 02/02/2022 21:08

Perhaps a random spa day with yourself.. or book a manicure or pedicure for her... take her out to lunch just the two of you..

But yes...definitely... give her a regular big hug!!! And tell her she is wonderful!!