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Original poster

How to respond this message from rude neighbour?

99 replies

Sashimai · 02/02/2022 18:35

We have barely had any dealings with neighbour of a house we rent out. I would say we are good landlord and get things sorted quickly.

Today we received a two mine message from neighbour - not sure how they have my email.

“The fence between our properties has finally fallen down. It is time it is replaced. [name of neighbour]”

Who talks like that??

OP posts:
SomethingSuss · 02/02/2022 21:44

@NothingIsWrong

There is also no obligation for you to replace it if you don't want to.

If they want their garden to be secure, they need to put up their own fence

I'm surprised it took so many replies to get this one. There is absolutely no obligation to put a fence up or repair a damaged one unless you require it to secure animals or children. If the neighbour needs it to confine their pets then they can have one erected at their own expense.
SomethingSuss · 02/02/2022 21:48

You do need to remove any fallen fence from their property however. If it's yours that is.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 02/02/2022 21:50

Is English their first language?

I work with an Eastern European lady who's messages and emails are very blunt and to the point but I know for a fact she doesn't mean for them to come across that way. It's just the translation.

Wonnle · 02/02/2022 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Why2why · 02/02/2022 22:42

What is the point of causing trouble between you and the neighbour by not repairing the fence?

Because a neighbour does not give insincere pleasantries and because they do not know their manners and their place to say ma’am and please-will-you as you think you are entitled to, you will not replace the fence?

I am always baffled by people who deliberately and intentionally create misery for their neighbours.

Why2why · 02/02/2022 22:44

I too wonder whether these neighbours are “different” to you in a way that you feel they should speak to you with a of deferential approach.

DreamTheMoors · 02/02/2022 23:54

I can’t tell if you’re offended or not. In case you are, the easiest way to make them mad in return is a simple “k” (as in the easiest form of ‘ok’) in return. k seems to piss people off where I live.
I wouldn’t be offended by the email, nor would I answer anything whatsoever back to the neighbors if indeed the fence was my responsibility.
I’d just go round and sort it out. And as other pp have said, I’d be embarrassed that the fence on my property got to the “falling down” state.
Stick up for yourself if it’s not your responsibility.

Original poster
Sashimai · 02/02/2022 23:59

Thanks for the feedback all.

Ok looks like it’s my issue.

I found it rude because I have never met this person and the only thing they have said to me is literally, cold opening “the fence needs to be replaced. It is time it is done. Your neighbour”

Just felt like they didn’t want to waste words and felt very Curt.

Obviously I responded straight away and said I would sort.

My issue is that I historically sort things quickly and always have - for myself, my tenant and bluntly for good neighbourly relations. I do find it rude to receive such a Curt message.

No I definitely do not expect them to be deferential - just to show some people skills! English definitely their first language.

OP posts:
twilightcustard · 03/02/2022 01:17

who dis?

LetsGoParty · 03/02/2022 01:28

It's good you've listened to posters saying it's not that bad. I think it's blunt but it's not that bad. I couldn't be arsed getting in a tiz over it.
I'd ignore it and fix the fence assuming it's yours to fix.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/02/2022 01:33

It's your fence, your responsibility. Fix the bloody thing.

SofiaAmes · 03/02/2022 01:35

Is it possible they are on the spectrum? Still not clear why you allowed the fence to be in disrepair for some time (or is that not actually the case). And also wondering why you are expected to repair the fence....sounds like that was something they expected you to know already. Are you sure that there haven't been previous conversations regarding the fence? With your tenants maybe?

jytdtysrht · 03/02/2022 01:41

It’s a rude message. I’m not sure why anyone is defending it. You learn in primary school to write:

“Dear Mrs X” or whatever.

Even if English was not their first language, most of the world do start written communications with some form of greeting.

On other MN threads, you will find people unwilling to freecycle things to people who have written to ask for them without any pleasantries.

jytdtysrht · 03/02/2022 01:42

Even being on the spectrum, people know this stuff! My ds is 15 with asd and knows you bloody well write Dear X

Brahumbug · 03/02/2022 06:49

If you want your garden to be secure, then you can replace it, nut you are under no obligation to do so. He can out his own fence up.

Persephonegoddess · 03/02/2022 06:57

It is not rude, it is factual and probably something that has annoyed them for a while, that you have not maintained.
It is your responsibility so own it, apologise and fix it.

RussianSpy101 · 03/02/2022 07:03

@jytdtysrht you start emails to everyone that way? That is not normal. Good morning, good afternoon, hello…

ElectraBlue · 03/02/2022 07:10

Have you maybe considered the fact that they might have a point rather than focus on the wording?

I don't see why they should send you a lengthy, flowery, communication, especially if they don't even know you well.

This is simply factual and you need to get on with the work if it is your responsibility or get back to them in an equally matter of fact way about sharing the costs if the fence is the responsibility of both parties.

If you have tenants it is also your duty to make sure the repair is done quickly for their sake. Not to mention the fact that you don't want any of them to get hurt if they try to move the fence, trip on it or whatever.

Brahumbug · 03/02/2022 08:10

@ElectraBlue
It isn't her responsibility. If she wishes to replace the fence then she can, but she is under no obligation to do so.

HPLikecraft · 03/02/2022 09:01

Can we PLEASE stop suggesting that every rude or bluntly mannered person is "on the spectrum"?

It is, at best, ignorant; at worst disabilist.
My daughter is autistic and manages not to be a mannerless wankshaft.

Rude and autistic are not synonymous.

WeatherwaxOn · 03/02/2022 09:17

@jytdtysrht

Even being on the spectrum, people know this stuff! My ds is 15 with asd and knows you bloody well write Dear X
Agree. Although I used to have a neighbour who communicated in a similar way- he was in his late 70s. If you were speaking to him on the phone he'd just hang up when he'd got to the part of the conversation where he had all the information he needed. For example: Phone rings and I pick up, "Hello?" Neighbour: "There's a car alarm going off outside." Me: "Oh, I can't hear it from here." Him:"Is it yours?" Me:"No, our car-" Him: puts phone down
thecatneuterer · 03/02/2022 09:48

@maximist

One word reply - "Noted".
Perfect!
PAFMO · 03/02/2022 09:50

@Sashimai

We have barely had any dealings with neighbour of a house we rent out. I would say we are good landlord and get things sorted quickly.

Today we received a two mine message from neighbour - not sure how they have my email.

“The fence between our properties has finally fallen down. It is time it is replaced. [name of neighbour]”

Who talks like that??

Nothing wrong with that. As a landlord you need to maintain the property. I'd write back and say "thanks for letting me know".
Cissyandflora · 03/02/2022 09:51

@twilightcustard

who dis?
Lols
Kshhuxnxk · 03/02/2022 10:18

I assume they're a bit fed up that you haven't sorted or replaced your fence which must be an eyesore if it's fallen down? They could obviously have put their own fence up but this doesn't occur to some.

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