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Original poster

Paying to attend child's party?

550 replies

arachnidpearl · 01/02/2022 11:15

Would welcome views on this.

My DS has been invited to a child's party on Sunday. It's at an activity place with a climbing wall then food afterwards. Accepted invitation weeks ago, have bought card and gift etc.

We've been sent a message yesterday from birthday child's parent last night which says that all children under 8 must be supervised by an adult each, which is ok with me I don't mind staying (would rather not, but it's not the end of the world) but that in order to stay and supervise we have to buy a full price adults ticket, which costs £25!

Is this usual? It seems a bit of a cheek to me!

OP posts:
educatingrati · 01/02/2022 14:29

I wonder if the venue have recently changed their policy, it seems odd the parents weren't made aware of this when they booked, or maybe they didn't read the terms and conditions properly. I agree the venue clearly don't want parties of young children to use the facilities or they are going out of business and trying to make a quick quid. Not on though. Feel sorry for the birthday boy, whose suddenly going to be a 'No mates'.

DistrictCommissioner · 01/02/2022 14:29

That is absolutely bonkers. What a business model.

ISmellBurnings · 01/02/2022 14:30

That’s utterly ridiculous. Complete and totally bonkers.

And why £25? That’s such a random amount for you to essentially stand and watch your child. Batshit.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/02/2022 14:30

Wow!! (After phone call update) The climbing wall company are literally never going to have an under 8 climbing there. Maybe that's their plan, who knows.

I would pull out, or at least have a nice chat with the other parents first and party parents too. I think most will pull out. Maybe all 8 can still end up doing something. It's bonkers to pay an extra £200 to do it this year rather than next.

If I was the party parents I'd be saying 'so sorry darling, I've messed up, you can't have a wall party till you're 9. We'll have to do something else instead this year. What do you fancy?'

Pbbananabagel · 01/02/2022 14:31

Everyone saying this is outrageous of the venue - hold on. OP said this is a local family run business, they probably haven’t got the qualifications or insurance for supervising children under the age of 8 at a party and probably told the parents a certain number of parent supervisors would be required for an 8 year olds birthday party with the idea that other children would be over 8 years. Its not the venue’s fault that the other children are under 8 years old. They have a cap on the number of people they can have in there so if the birthday child’s parents haven’t paid for exclusive use they need every adult in there to be paying. The fault here is 100% on the birthday child’s parents for not checking all the rules prior to booking and inviting the kids.

WheresYourSnickers · 01/02/2022 14:31

@arachnidpearl

Ok so I've rung the venue.

I am not allowed to be a supervising adult on account of being pregnant, I am not allowed in the vicinity of the climbing wall at all, just the cafe etc. But, all children under 8 must be supervised 1-1 and to enter the climbing area all adults must have a ticket (which is £25!)

So I cannot take DS anyway, the only option I've got is if I can get a grandparent or my sister to take him. But I will have to pay £25 for them to do so!

I queried the cost for adults on account of it being a party and they said they offer the option where the party bookers can pay for the supervising adults... or not. So I assume these parents have decided not!!

I think parents of party child need to rethink the party venue if all/most of invitees are under 8. That's crazy!
dipdye · 01/02/2022 14:32

Makes no sense at all.

How does these places stay open?

Saz12 · 01/02/2022 14:35

I understand the venue needing parent/guardian type supervision. But ... 1-to-1 sounds excessive, and paying £25 for it is insane! I guess you have to phone the host and explain your DC can’t go.

ISmellBurnings · 01/02/2022 14:37

The fault here is 100% on the birthday child’s parents for not checking all the rules prior to booking and inviting the kids.

But surely the venue should have told them the rules on booking.

1FootInTheRave · 01/02/2022 14:38

Absolutely wouldn't go.

The party parents have fucked up and it's up to them to rectify it.

RockinHorseShit · 01/02/2022 14:40

I queried the cost for adults on account of it being a party and they said they offer the option where the party bookers can pay for the supervising adults... or not. So I assume these parents have decided not!!

The host parents are CFs who have gone for the cheapest option, expecting guests to pick up the tab. £25 is a ridiculous charge, but why book there if you can't afford it.

I've hosted parties like this in the past & have been to many. All were fully paid for by me or the other parents, though much cheaper at around £5 no way were guests expected to pay anything at all. Those that couldn't afford it had small tea parties at home, or a day out with a close friend or 2, nobody minded not going, but I sure as hell would have minded a £25 charge for a kids party, whether I could afford it or not.

I'd suggest you take the £25 & treat your DC to the cinema trip or something they want to do, so they don't feel left out & avoid the CFs party

Bypassed21 · 01/02/2022 14:41

@SummerInSun

I'd check with the venue if it really has to be one adult per child. If not, get the parents to team up, eg could one parent be responsible for two or three DC if they "get upset"?

But unless the money is a meaningful amount to you, please, please don't cancel. None of this is the birthday child's fault and it will be so upsetting for him/her if it was only a small party anyway and some kids don't show up because the parents want to make a point about cheekiness.

Sorry but I totally disagree with this. Yes - the kids will be disappointed - but isn't it part of our remit as parents to teach our children how to deal with life's disappointments? This wont be the only birthday party the host child has - nor will it be the only birthday party the guests will get invited too.

@arachnidpearl following your update it sounds like you have the perfect excuse to not attend - and at this kind of cost I think that's the right thing to do. Honestly if it were me - and even if I wasn't pregnant - I still wouldn't be prepared to pay this cost. I would explain to the host parent why and not blame them - it does sound like this additional cost has been sprung on them at the last minute. Perhaps the venue assumed ALL the children would be 8 at the time of booking and only now it's come to light that there are 7 years olds invited.

Graphista · 01/02/2022 14:43

Parents at it then and venue trying to be diplomatic.

Parents knew when they booked and thought people would feel too awkward to drop out after accepting initial invitation.

It's an extortionate amount regardless! Total piss take!

they probably haven’t got the qualifications or insurance for supervising children under the age of 8 at a party

Then they shouldn't have accepted the booking!

RosiePosieDozy · 01/02/2022 14:43

Never heard anything like it. If I was you, I wouldn't be arranging for someone else to take DS. He wouldn't be going. Take him some where else climbing soon so he doesn't miss out. Very cheeky of the climbing company to ask for £25 for someone to supervise who isn't even taking part and incredibly cheeky of the parents to ask for this money.

PaddleBoardingMomma · 01/02/2022 14:44

If I was paying £25 for a couple of hours I'd fully expect that to be for someone else to mind my child, not for me to have the privilege of paying to do it myself 🤣

Parents are CF for expecting the guests to pay, the climbing centre has also has a really poor business model.

20week · 01/02/2022 14:45

@ISmellBurnings I imagine party parents were told and didn't want to/couldn't pay the extra. Instead of choosing a different venue they've buried their heads in the sand and sprung it on op and other attendees last minute. Probably embarrassed at having to ask other parents for £25 to stand around doing nothing.

PragmaticWench · 01/02/2022 14:45

So any parent of an under 8 has to supervise their child....and pay £25 to do that?! The venue get £25 per child for doing nothing? Shock

You have the perfect get out in being pregnant but OP, will you say to party-parents that it's crazy?

poorbuthappy · 01/02/2022 14:45

Are they expecting you to shimmy up the wall if your kid gets stuck???

Batoutofhell70 · 01/02/2022 14:46

Bollocks to that. I'd be telling her no chance

Eddielzzard · 01/02/2022 14:47

You've dodged a bullet there... Disappointing for your DS but the venue is being utterly ridiculous.

Lockdownbear · 01/02/2022 14:47

@Starlightstarbright1

Gosh.. Yes you have a get out clause now.

I doubt you will be the only one to drop out..

unless you live in an affluent area £25 is a huge amount... This should also have been upfront.

Even in an affluent area £25 is a lot to take your kid to a party, plus gift and card means you'd be closer to £35

They are making a killing out of it 8 kids parents at £25 = £200 for nothing.

I think I'd decline the invite. I think a few people will develop a cough before it.

TatianaBis · 01/02/2022 14:48

Pregnancy is an excellent excuse to drop out.

MaggieFS · 01/02/2022 14:49

That's crazy.

I do feel a bit sorry if the organising family made the booking without realising the details, however incredibly CF to then ask you to pay the £25.

Lockdownbear · 01/02/2022 14:51

@Saz12

I understand the venue needing parent/guardian type supervision. But ... 1-to-1 sounds excessive, and paying £25 for it is insane! I guess you have to phone the host and explain your DC can’t go.
I think 1to1 for 7 year olds is excessive as well. Seems a heck of a jump to 8 year olds are fine alone.

Sounds like the climbing centre doesn't really want 7 year olds.

LeaveYourHatOn · 01/02/2022 14:51

I think I'd pay it because I'd want my dc to go and for their friend to have someone at their party, but yes, the policy is utterly bonkers and needs pointing out. Should really have been discussed when the parents were booking it!

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