Going from part time to full time work when all kids at school

[OnceuponaRainbow18]

I currently have 1 kid in reception and 1 will start next sept, I work 3 days a week sometimes 4. I’ve always looked forward to both my kids being school and getting 9-3 to myself once or twice a week… I’ve mentioned this recently to a few friend IRL who said they will go back to work full time once their youngest is in reception.!!!!

What have others done? I feel potentially robbed of these wonderful days I’ve dreamt up, as if all my friends go back I may feel the peer pressure to 😂 I won’t need to go full time for money as will make more anyway with no nursery costs!

Stayed part time

Love
Love
Love it

I went full time, but it was hard work especially when they're still in primary school because there's a lot of juggling to do.
Now one is in secondary its much easier.
I wouldn't if you don't need to or really want to.

I'm still on 3 days with kids in y5, 8 and 10! Life doesn't get easier once kids are in school - in fact I found life became busier with homework and extracurricular activities etc taking up a lot of time. I use my days off to keep on top of things and help to have more enjoyable family weekends.
Do what is right for you.

I don't work full time but I work 5 days so I still don't get any time to myself!

You're an adult woman, there is no peer pressure surely? I think you should do whatever suits you and your family.

I plan on staying part time. Also wouldn’t mind partner dropping a day or two. It’s all about quality of life at the end of the day! If you don’t need to work full time I wouldn’t.

I would love to stay part time!

I’m not sure I will - depends if we go down independent school route or not.

Up to you, if you can afford to stay part time and want to then absolutely stay part time!

I went full time again recently thinking the same, that I should be doing more and it's been a nightmare. I'm failing in every way so have asked if I can reduce my hours. Never again, it's just too much juggling and rushing around. Im exhausted, and the kids are fed up and frustrated.

If you can afford it stay part time. It'd good to have a couple of days to catch up at home without the kids there.

Hi OP

I think mine was somewhat of an unusual set of circumstances that won't probably apply to anyone else. I had a serious accident in the early stages of my pregnancy with my DS. It was touch & go. Thankfully we both pulled through, but I would never be able to carry another pregnancy. I was signed off work for three years to get me through the surgeries I needed plus rehabilitation time, then I went back to work x2 full days per week.

My (now ex) DH was becoming increasingly abusive. I knew I had to make a plan which meant running a home & providing for DS by myself. I could only make the plan work if I went back full time, which I did when DS was in year 2 (7/8 years old). My employer was fantastic and very flexible, I was still able to attend sports day, Christmas/Easter plays etc. Most importantly, I was able to provide DS with security.

He's an adult now. We were reminiscing over Christmas and I asked DS if he would have preferred me to stay working part-time as he grew up. It's funny how the mind works. In my head, I missed the normal day-to-day stuff with DS. In his opinion, I was always there for the times that mattered most to him. I always made sure that DS was the full focus of my attention at home, no distraction with checking work emails etc.

No-one wants to think of their relationship going wrong. My advice to anyone would be to make sure that you are in a position to support yourself and your children without any input from your OH/their father, which may mean increasing your hours. You also need to think about retirement/your pension.

IMVHO, it's the quality of the time you spend with your child/children is vastly more important than the quantity.

Good luck with your decision

Mine are all in school and I have stayed PT.

It helps that I WFH and hours are flexible.

It means that whenever so something comes up, illness, Covid, holidays etc. DH doesn't have to think about it as I am the automatic cover.

When DS1 was born I was only able to take 10 weeks maternity leave so I also feel that it is good, particularly for him to have me very available for them now that we are able.

We are lucky that we can afford it, but I have no intention of going FT until I feel that my presence won't be beneficial.

@EnolaL

I'm still on 3 days with kids in y5, 8 and 10! Life doesn't get easier once kids are in school - in fact I found life became busier with homework and extracurricular activities etc taking up a lot of time. I use my days off to keep on top of things and help to have more enjoyable family weekends. Do what is right for you.

Agree with this post. I do three long days and am off two days. Mine are in year 4 and year 6. I'm not changing for anyone. My two children do 10 extra curricula clubs a week. A lot of that is stacked on the days I don't work. They have had 2 years of no clubs so I'm letting them all bloom atm but that takes a lot of coordinating and effort. My DH does school runs and club runs but 100% of life / house admin falls to me. A lot of my 9-3 time has been doing substantial work on our house / sorting assessments for our children who have health needs/ etc.

It has also been a life saver when the children have been off school for Covid.Both of them have been off for months and months and I was able to ensure they had work / didn't fall behind on school work . I have an health issue which I look after during that time
BUT
I'm very senior at work. My salary is a good one and I have an excellent pension. I earn the same as my full time husband. Do not continue to stay part time unless you have a strong pension because you will be penalised later on

Have you considered your pension provision op? Thinking about the long term affordability of life as well as the short term is partly what drove me to go to 4 days a week (from two days) when my youngest was firmly happy at school

Ps I have always taken unpaid parental leave jn the summer holidays to be able to make the most of that tkme with them

I worked "school hours" while DD was at primary so that I could drop her off and pick her up. I hated it!

• Having to leave work in time to pick her up even if I was right in the middle of something that just needed about another 10 minutes to complete.
• Pretty much carrying a full time job role in 30 hours, with no acknowledgement that actually I was producing more output than everyone else while getting paid 20% less.
• being looked down on as "only" part time
• missing out on events at work or meetings that started before 9.30am or ended after 3pm
• feeling like I wasn't doing particularly well either at parenting or working.

On the plus side, going up to school every day meant keeping in touch with the teacher and other parents so that any issues could be dealt with straight away and not missing anything vital from school (like the note only on the classroom window that didn't get sent home). Also found that DD was in the right frame of mind to tell me about her day.

Went back to work full time when she started Year 7, with relief.

My youngest is in y1 and I've stayed on 4 days. Sometimes I clean and do laundry, sometimes I meet a friend for coffee. It also gives me a bit of flex to juggle around school assemblies etc. We can afford it and it's good for my wellbeing.

Do what's right for you, I agree having kids in school is still busy.
I worked 3 days a week then upped it to 4 days a week.
I struggle to get everything done in my one day "off" in fact it's actually impossible so chores take up weekend time too and I feel I don't have time to relax.
When DC were in primary school they often asked to do clubs or activities after school or have friends round and that's impossible if you are working full time and you end up to fitting it into the weekends which makes them full on.
If you do go full time consider getting a cleaner to make life more manageable .
I think work life balance with DC is better when working part time but the trade off can be career progression and financial independence.

@Thethingswedoforlove

Naively no I hadn’t, and is defo something I should think about. Thanks for raising this!

It's not necessarily that easy! Childcare can be a lot harder to find once they are school age. Around here unless you know your hours in May for the following September you won't get a place at the wrap around care so you'd be looking for a space with a childminder, which again you may need to start looking for a year in advance. Holiday clubs are great but many don't go much beyond school hours and you will probably struggle to find anything when they are in Year R as most start from age 6. I have upped my hours a little now both my kids are junior age, will not up them again much until both at secondary.

Stay part time @OnceuponaRainbow18

I'm on three days with two still in nursery and one at primary school.

When all are at school I will be keeping my three days! By that point I feel like I'll have earned a bit of breathing space and it makes covering the holidays easier. I don't care what anyone thinks about it to be honest.

I thought the same as your friend. Did it, for about one month then realised it wasn't achievable if you want any kind of quality of life. Went part time then, loved it and still do. If you can afford it, I've found about 15 hours per week work with school age dc is a nice balance.

I went ft. Just dropped to 3 with y1 and y3 dc. 5 days was hard work with dc afterschool clubs/activities and my job is long stressful hours.
My advice stay pt.
Financially not much difference as breakfast and afterschool clubs are extortionate.

I stayed part time until the youngest was in year 2 and tbh it was nice to settle them both into Primary but it then seemed financially foolish.

I was over 700 pounds a month worse off and it was hitting my pension by 300 so it didnt make sense to lose 1000 just soni could keep on top of things at home. We decided to get a cleaner and share household jobs out fairly between me and DH. However I don't work school holidays which is a real bonus.