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Original poster

What time does your 15 year old have to be home in a weekend?

48 replies

TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky · 30/01/2022 10:26

I'm really struggling to stay awake for how late this is getting.
Sometimes I want to be in bed at 9/9.30

He's only going to get older and it's going to get later. 😭

On the other hand, I was clubbing and when I was 15. I don't know how I got away with that?

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 30/01/2022 10:37

Same. I was out clubbing at 15. I'd be home at 3am. If at all! Although if I stayed at a friends house then I had to tell my parents that was my plan (no mobiles back then!)

Honest, I have no advice but I also can't believe I was allowed to do that either.

PugInTheHouse · 30/01/2022 11:37

Are you having to pick him up? Of course it will get later. TBH 9/930 is early for a 15 yo IMO.

FWIW my DS 15 (in Y11) has to agree in advance what time he comes back. Usually 12-1am at a weekend, we have Uber here and they are mega cheap and easy to get so I don't always have to pick him up but when I do it's part and parcel of having a teen, I don't need lots of sleep though so it's not too bad for me. I am happy for him to stay out but again he has to agree it in advance so I am not waiting up for him. It's not even that I would wait up, it's just that I don't really relax till he's home.

I was also clubbing at 15, my mum used to pick me (and my friends) up at 145am as her rule was I could go but I wasn't allowed to wait in taxi queue.

Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2022 11:51

@DropYourSword

Same. I was out clubbing at 15. I'd be home at 3am. If at all! Although if I stayed at a friends house then I had to tell my parents that was my plan (no mobiles back then!)

Honest, I have no advice but I also can't believe I was allowed to do that either.

Me too. Clubbing at night then school the next day.

I think when they were 15 I didn't want the DS's home if I knew what they were doing, but they would often go out then crash at someone's house rather than come back at the weekend.

If they wanted a lift home that would have to be prearranged with me.

Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2022 11:53

But don't worry @TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky, in two year's time you can lie awake at night because they're out there driving about at the weekend. Sad Grin

topcat2014 · 30/01/2022 11:54

10 pm, with texts after 9pm to confirm where she is.

Chakraleaf · 30/01/2022 11:55

10pm unless pre agreed with a lift

AlexaShutUp · 30/01/2022 11:58

I will pick up at pretty much any time, but I'm not generally an early sleeper. If it's going to be after 12/12:30, dd would generally arrange to sleep over. DD is 16.

I would add that I always know exactly where she is, ie at a friend's house or at a specific destination like a restaurant, cinema, theatre etc. I always know how she is getting home (usually me or a friend's parent). And she stays in touch with me throughout the evening so that I know she is safe.

RedskyThisNight · 30/01/2022 12:01

11 if she was at a friend's house or specific place e.g cinema but I'd want to know how she was getting home.

9/9.30 is pretty early and will only get later. Can you pay for a taxi or get another parent to give her a lift home (with you doing the earlier evening lift) if you want to go to bed?

gogohm · 30/01/2022 12:02

No fixed time but they told me where they were and how they were getting home, I could veto! Dd2 pushed boundaries a bit more but (I thought) she was with her best friend and her mum was picking up... 3 years later it came out that they both had told us their respective parents the same thing Grin

jackstini · 30/01/2022 12:04

10-11ish as long as at a specific place & I know where - cinema/friends etc. I have done midnight for the odd party

She's not allowed to just hang out on the street/at park and has to be picked up or dropped off, no walking alone

LadyPropane · 30/01/2022 12:08

Yes, it's going to get much later BUT you might find it gets easier because they start driving, or getting taxis with friends.

Itstheprinciple · 30/01/2022 12:53

You can't put a 9:30 curfew on them. I know how you feel though as I'd happily be in bed at that time but luckily DH is a night owl so will stay up to do later lifts.
It depends what DD is doing really, she doesn't have a set time and often her boyfriend walks her home or she stays out at a friends so we aren't often required.

Original poster
TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky · 30/01/2022 13:50

I didn't say that he was home at 9/9:30, or that I expected him to be.

Just that I want to be in bed falling asleep at that time but I can't because he has a social life.

Gone is my early bed time.

This is what I get for having such large age gaps, the toddler wakes me at night at starts the day at 5something.

OP posts:
Original poster
TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky · 30/01/2022 13:50

So are Ubers cheaper than taxis then?

OP posts:
PugInTheHouse · 30/01/2022 15:39

I should have said 12/1 is for prearranged outings, he isn't allowed to just wander round anywhere at night.

@TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky they can be cheaper but also if you have a family account you can charge it to your card and also track the journey. I think more taxi companies have apps now so you can track.

MyDcAreMarvel · 30/01/2022 15:46

At 15 my 17 year old was home at 9 unless a fixed event like a birthday party I picked her up from. At 17 if she is at a friends house or cinema etc she would be home for 9 on a school night ( she is up at 6 for school so needs to be asleep by 10pm) Then 10/10.30 on a weekend and she would be picked up if coming home any later than about 9pm.
Obviously a specific event that had a fixed later time would be fine.
Some very irresponsible parents on this thread, but it seems like they learnt that from their own upbringing.

PugInTheHouse · 30/01/2022 22:40

How are any of the parents on this thread irresponsible? I can only assume because people have said their DCs stay out late you have decided that isn't the correct way? Apologies if I am wrong but reading back the thread not one poster has said they allow their DCs to go out and let them do as they please.

Everyone has said they insist on knowing where their DCs are and are not allowed to just go 'out'. Surely knowing where your DCs are and arranging for them to get home safely is the definition of responsible. My 15 yo DS is quite capable of knowing how much sleep he needs in order to function well at school, he doesn't stay out late on a week night and has never asked to. He has a very unusual job which means sometimes in the week he does not finish until 11pm but I am always with him on these occasions.

I can't ever imagine making a 17 yo come home at 10/1030 on a weekend night, they are nearly an adult. My parents were super strict until I was about 14 then I was allowed lots of freedom as long as I never broke their trust. I never lied about where I was unlike almost all my friends whose parents insisted they had to be home early.

At the end of the day everyone parents differently but ensuring your DCs are polite, hardworking, trustworthy and independent as teens and young adults is the aim, just because people do things differently to you doesn't mean they are wrong. We all know our own DCs and their limitations.

blyn72 · 30/01/2022 23:08

@TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky

I didn't say that he was home at 9/9:30, or that I expected him to be.

Just that I want to be in bed falling asleep at that time but I can't because he has a social life.

Gone is my early bed time.

This is what I get for having such large age gaps, the toddler wakes me at night at starts the day at 5something.

I don't get why you can't go to bed early while your son is out. Does he not have a key?
Chakraleaf · 31/01/2022 06:52

@TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky

I didn't say that he was home at 9/9:30, or that I expected him to be.

Just that I want to be in bed falling asleep at that time but I can't because he has a social life.

Gone is my early bed time.

This is what I get for having such large age gaps, the toddler wakes me at night at starts the day at 5something.

I have a similar age gap and even if it's unfair in their opinion, sometimes I do set an earlier curfew as I am tired. Its not unreasonable! My teenager is under my care and if I say they have to be in early because that suits the family best, then I do. Don't feel bad.
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 31/01/2022 07:03

It depended on what he was doing and if we were picking him up,he was walking home or getting a lift.

onepieceoflollipop · 31/01/2022 07:13

I also like early nights myself but accept with 2 teens that this doesn’t always work. (Plus when they are home late at night is often the only time they want to talk!)

We don’t have a set curfew as such but we always know where the younger one is (older one is an adult) and as a pp said they will be at a specific venue of event not just hanging around…

A practical tip: If I am very tired and need to sleep I make sure phone is on l so they can phone if needed and set an alarm for later to check they have returned. So this gives me the chance to rest whilst still being as accessible as I would be if still awake and dressed.

adulthumanfemalemum · 31/01/2022 07:29

I'm quite intrigued as to what all these 15 year olds are doing late at night unless they are hanging around in a park (deeply unsafe). It's not like they can go to a bar or club these days.

My 15 year old goes to friends houses but either stays over there, or I collect her. I've never known her ask to be collected as late as 10pm. Presumably if they are at a friend's house there is a parent around who doesn't want a load of teenagers there until late. I certainly wouldn't let her go "out" randomly wandering around in the evening. 15 is not an adult however much they think they are. Either I know exactly where she is and how she's getting home or she's at home if an evening.

It's not that she goes to bed early, she's up until midnight, and frequently babysits until late.

But being just "out" with me waiting for her to come home, that is not a thing in my house....

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 31/01/2022 07:35

I'm quite intrigued as to what all these 15 year olds are doing late at night unless they are hanging around in a park (deeply unsafe). It's not like they can go to a bar or club these days.

Cinema, bowling, restaurant, fast food place....

AlexaShutUp · 31/01/2022 07:38

@adulthumanfemalemum

I'm quite intrigued as to what all these 15 year olds are doing late at night unless they are hanging around in a park (deeply unsafe). It's not like they can go to a bar or club these days.

My 15 year old goes to friends houses but either stays over there, or I collect her. I've never known her ask to be collected as late as 10pm. Presumably if they are at a friend's house there is a parent around who doesn't want a load of teenagers there until late. I certainly wouldn't let her go "out" randomly wandering around in the evening. 15 is not an adult however much they think they are. Either I know exactly where she is and how she's getting home or she's at home if an evening.

It's not that she goes to bed early, she's up until midnight, and frequently babysits until late.

But being just "out" with me waiting for her to come home, that is not a thing in my house....

Mine is 16 now but mostly spends time at friends houses. It's quite normal in her circle for them to ask to be picked up at around midnight and has been for some time. None of the parents seem bothered about having teenagers in their house until that time. It doesn't bother me either, I'd far rather have them here and know that they're safe than have them wandering around outside!
OddBoots · 31/01/2022 07:41

I need my early nights to manage chronic pain so the system with my (now adult) children is:

-I have my phone near me in case they need to call me out (and they know that if they need me they can call any time).

-They tell me what time they expect to be in and they text if that changes.

-I leave the landing light on when I go to bed and they turn it off when they get in so I can see if they are home without getting out of bed.

On the very rare occasions I go out and they are home the same applies.