Page 2 | What time does your 15 year old have to be home in a weekend?

TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky · 2022-01-30T10:26:37+00:00

I'm really struggling to stay awake for how late this is getting. Sometimes I want to be in bed at 9/9.30 He's only going to get older and it's going to get later. 😭 On the other hand, I was clubbing and when I was 15. I don't know how I got away with that?

GattoFantastico · 31/01/2022 07:45

Yes it's going to get later but surely you can go to bed and he can let himself into the house? The fact you also have a toddler who wakes up at 5am isn't his fault: that's one of the downsides of having a huge age gap

onepieceoflollipop · 31/01/2022 08:05

Like a pp I also like having extra teens in the house - if they sleepover they know to keep the noise down after an agreed time otherwise the next sleepover is cancelled (only happened once)

I’m delighted that after the deprivations of the last 2 years they can now socialise properly - out for food, cinema, hanging out in houses.

I’ll admit (never thought I’d say this as it used to irritate me!) I missed the noise and the laughter.

crosbystillsandmash · 31/01/2022 08:14

@adulthumanfemalemum

I'm quite intrigued as to what all these 15 year olds are doing late at night unless they are hanging around in a park (deeply unsafe). It's not like they can go to a bar or club these days.

My 15 year old goes to friends houses but either stays over there, or I collect her. I've never known her ask to be collected as late as 10pm. Presumably if they are at a friend's house there is a parent around who doesn't want a load of teenagers there until late. I certainly wouldn't let her go "out" randomly wandering around in the evening. 15 is not an adult however much they think they are. Either I know exactly where she is and how she's getting home or she's at home if an evening.

It's not that she goes to bed early, she's up until midnight, and frequently babysits until late.

But being just "out" with me waiting for her to come home, that is not a thing in my house....

Ds is skateboarding, big skatepark, floodlit so they stay there until late. After 9 he knows I like him to keep in touch but his curfew is flexible as long as I know where he is! I worry because it's in a big city park but there's always a big group of them and they walk/skate home together and ds knows the rule is that I pick him up if nobody is walking back our way!

The exercise and friendships he gains are what I focus on, to distract me from worrying!

Inspectorslack · 31/01/2022 08:19

I didn’t really have a set curfew.

It depended what they were doing and whether or not they needed a lift.

This was the go to house for them and their mates to hang out at

My parents didn’t allow anyone in after 6pm (for me or my brother) so we were out and about and walking home in the dark from a young age. I didn’t want mine to be like that.

MichaelAndEagle · 31/01/2022 08:20

Out of interest, can under 18s get an uber unaccompanied? I read they weren't licensed or something? I put uber on DSs phone anyway but heard they might not pick up unaccompanied minor and I should use local taxi.
But the convenience of the app makes uber more appealing.
Haven't needed it yet, but as I don't drive I want to have something prepared for when I do need it.

Toanewstart22 · 31/01/2022 08:22

15?!
They don’t go “out out”.

They may go around to a friends but that’s rare as none are local
DD sees friends during the day… shopping / around their home and then maybe stays the night or come here
DD at boarding school and when home at weekends, he’s so exhausted from all the sports and matches… that weekends are mainly sleeping, homework and sprawls on sofa watching films

Classicblunder · 31/01/2022 08:23

I'm quite intrigued as to what all these 15 year olds are doing late at night unless they are hanging around in a park (deeply unsafe). It's not like they can go to a bar or club these days.

I don't have a 15 year old but when I was a 15 year old, I would hang out at friends' houses, including having (fairly tame) parties, cinema, go out for dinner, sometimes day trip to London and then be back on a lateish train.

Inspectorslack · 31/01/2022 08:25

At 15 mine went to

Parties at friends houses aka house parties

Parties at the beach aka beach parties

Cinema

Bowling

Ice skating

Out to local pizza place

cansu · 31/01/2022 08:27

15 year old should not be out clubbing till the early hours. I find it utterly ludicrous that parents are foolish enough to think their kids are mature enough to be safe and making decent decisions when they are pissed or doing god knows what for hours in end in clubs. On the one hand we are asking schools to safeguard teens and keep them away from adult harms and then parents abdicate their own responsibilities and let them out till all hours.

PugInTheHouse · 31/01/2022 08:30

@adulthumanfemalemum they are at each others houses, they are never out past 930ish,even prior to that they would be in a restaurant or cinema or something. They also do lots of organised sports. I was never allowed to just walk the streets as a teen and it never appealed to me either. We don't live in a particularly safe area so mine aren't allowed to.

@OddBoots that's basically what we do.

PugInTheHouse · 31/01/2022 08:32

@cansu I haven't seen any post on here where a parent has said they allow their teens to go clubbing at 15. Several of us said we were allowed to as teens. I think things were very different then though.

Luckily DS has a lovely group of mates, they are always together at each others houses and we know the parents so we know that's the case.

PugInTheHouse · 31/01/2022 08:36

@MichaelAndEagle weirdly I read this on MN recently but have used uber for the kids for years. Due to our specific circumstances our DCs have had to get occasional ubers at age 11ish and were never refused. They use them regularly now but were refused once. I was stuck in a work meeting, the weather was awful, they had no coats and school is a 45 min walk away so they ordered an uber. The driver refused them so they ordered another and it was fine.

3peassuit · 31/01/2022 08:45

I remember at 15 my girls were having sleepovers every other week. They had tight friendship groups and I always had the number of the parent whose house they were in. I don’t think teenagers would get away with clubbing these days, most places have a strict door policy and ask for Id.

ChevyCamaro · 31/01/2022 08:59

Mine can be out until 11 or 12 ish on the weekend but only if at a mates house and only if I can pick up in the car.
They don’t really go bowling or to the cinema, so any “ being out” other than that involves hanging around the rec or the basketball courts, maybe getting some chips or whatever and in that case it’s 9 LATEST. It’s not safe- too many dodgy lads around.
I always need to know where/ who with/ how they are getting home too. Lots of people seem to start letting their boys do whatever the hell they like after 13, and the consequences of that are not good imo.

MichaelAndEagle · 31/01/2022 09:16

[quote PugInTheHouse]@MichaelAndEagle weirdly I read this on MN recently but have used uber for the kids for years. Due to our specific circumstances our DCs have had to get occasional ubers at age 11ish and were never refused. They use them regularly now but were refused once. I was stuck in a work meeting, the weather was awful, they had no coats and school is a 45 min walk away so they ordered an uber. The driver refused them so they ordered another and it was fine.[/quote]
Thanks, that's good to know.
You don't have any safety concerns over them riding in a taxi alone?
I don't know how much to worry about this!! I can't give lifts and atm have gone to collect him.myself in a taxi but would be so much easier and cheaper if he can get in one alone.

PugInTheHouse · 31/01/2022 17:11

@MichaelAndEagle I don't worry about it any more that anything else when they are out. I am a complete worrier about everything so they know to message me regularly so I don't panic in general bless them. You can track the journey and it also gives you estimated ETA so I feel as comfortable as I ever will. I was way more nervous when DSs best friend (a girl who is 18 months older than him) had a boyfriend who was 18 and he'd drive them home.

@ChevyCamaro I never understand this re allowing boys any more freedom as there are dangers for both girls and boys. There have been so many incidents where small groups of boys have been jumped by other groups, one lad even had his trainers stolen off his feet. We live near the sea and there was a stabbing down there recently. Its so sad as we loved hanging out down there as kids. Now I won't let my boys there in the dark at all.

I am the same if the kids are not actually at someone's house. I insist on 9/930 home but mostly they aren't actually out out this late anyway, they would be somewhere specific if they were out in the dark, I still don't allow my 15 yo to just wonder or hang around in the park. I don't think he'll ever do this now anyway as he is like me and does activities rather than just hanging around. My 13 yo is not allowed out when it's dark after around 7pm- ish unless just popping to the corner shop with a friend.

PugInTheHouse · 31/01/2022 17:12

IME my friends have always been more lenient with their girls than I have with my boys, I wonder if girls want to go out more? I know I did in comparison to my brother, also harder for boys to get into pubs etc till they are 18 whereas we got in everywhere.

RedskyThisNight · 31/01/2022 17:28

@PugInTheHouse

IME my friends have always been more lenient with their girls than I have with my boys, I wonder if girls want to go out more? I know I did in comparison to my brother, also harder for boys to get into pubs etc till they are 18 whereas we got in everywhere.

That's interesting because I was going to say the opposite. I'm quite happy for my DS to walk between places, but I'd want DD to have lifts organised.

Kite22 · 31/01/2022 17:40

So are Ubers cheaper than taxis then?

Not necessarily but they sometimes are . They work on supply and demand rather than a fixed tariff.

Like pps, I never had a fixed time any of my teens had to be in by, it would depend on where they were, what they were doing and what time that 'thing' finished. They all had keys, and, depending where they were, might walk, might cycle, might get the bus or train, might get a lift from friend's parents, or might get a lift from either dh or I. Obviously when we picked them up, we would then drop friends home and therefore feel no angst about other parents then giving our dc lifts on other occasions.

Where is your dh / dp in this ? Does he retire mid evening as well ?

PugInTheHouse · 31/01/2022 21:30

@RedskyThisNight I think it's more that my friends allowed their younger DDs out later and with less restrictions than I would with DS, not necessarily that they would walk home alone. My DSs didn't really go out that much with friends until 12/13. They would obviously go to friends houses but not really out on their own at all.

Chakraleaf · 04/02/2022 22:43

@TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky

I didn't say that he was home at 9/9:30, or that I expected him to be.

Just that I want to be in bed falling asleep at that time but I can't because he has a social life.

Gone is my early bed time.

This is what I get for having such large age gaps, the toddler wakes me at night at starts the day at 5something.

It's not unfair. I refuse to pick dd up later than 10 as I have work Saturdays and my life doesn't revolve around her social life. 10pm is better than nothing.

GreyCarpet · 05/02/2022 05:09

I've never done curfews.

My eldest is 23 and never really went out as a teen. When he did start to, we had the home by midnight unless you text to say otherwise rule.

My youngest is 15 and a bit of a homebody so, if she sees her friends, they tend to sleep over at each other's houses - I'll happily have a 3 day sleepover and they also sleepover during the week and go to school from each other's houses.

On the occasions she does go out, it depends on where she is, what she's doing and who with.

Therealrealitystar · 05/02/2022 07:34

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