DD is almost 11 and in year 6 at school. She got her first phone in September so she could walk safely home alone. The phone has been largely untouched until the past 2-3 weeks when she asked to contact her friends on WhatsApp. I naively thought this would be fine likening it to the many hours I spent chatting to my friends on the landline at her age! Obviously I was wrong and I have been way too trusting which I accept.
She was told off on Tuesday with another two girls for targeting a boy in their class during a WhatsApp group chat. The school didn’t inform me and still haven’t, DD told me that evening. We had a lengthy chat, I told her off and she’s lost privileges for the next week. She’s also no longer allowed to use WhatsApp and won’t until she’s mature enough to use it responsibly so not for the foreseeable. Coupled with the telling off at school, I personally thought this was sufficient.
It sounds like they were all playing a game during this chat which totally got out of hand. The boy involved (will call him A) decided to play a game called ‘A is - ‘ and the girls were invited to fill in the blanks so they all started saying things such as A is annoying, A is fat etc. Obviously not pleasant but the boy seemed to goad them into continuing by asking them to continue and also joined in at one stage calling himself a swear word. Just sounds like a stupid game that got out of hand. This is DD’s version of events anyway. I know the boy involved is not innocent because he was pushing DD around in the playground a few months ago and I had to inform the teacher. He recorded the chat anyway and showed his Mum who then contacted the school.
This is where I, personally, would have left it. I’d contact the school and let them deal with the perpetrators accordingly which they did. DD has been reprimanded both at school and home which I believe is sufficient and it’s ok to now draw a line in the sand and move on. His Mother clearly doesn’t agree and has been blowing DD’s phone up which I just think is completely inappropriate. We didn’t realise it was her initially because she used her son’s phone. She called about 5 times in a row on Tuesday night until we switched the phone off because DD was in bed and we were just sitting there with the phone buzzing incessantly. DD then told me an unknown number had been calling her yesterday on the way home from school and had left voicemails each time where they didn’t say anything. Obviously a bit weird so I just blocked the number. Anyway, this morning his Mum messaged DD saying ‘it’s A’s mum, I’ve been trying to call you. Can you let your parents know I want to speak to them please.’
I’m just unsure what she wants to speak to me about really. I don’t know who she is and don’t know who the boy is so totally uncomfortable with her blowing my 10 year old’s phone up like this! I’ve messaged the teacher to explain that DD has been reprimanded appropriately and I don’t really think it’s acceptable of his Mum to keep calling DD like this. DD has chosen a totally different group of friends this year for some reason and I don’t know who any of them are but I do know she’s never been in trouble before at school so I’m extremely disappointed it’s happening now.
Just wondering whether I should contact his Mum this evening as well or just leave the school to act as a mediator?