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Original poster

Need to talk!

40 replies

Snoop85 · 21/01/2022 23:58

I know that he is awful to me but I need to know that someone else agrees.
Everyone we know thinks he is sweet and perfect

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 22/01/2022 00:01

Well they aren’t in an intimate relationship with him are they?

So who should know best - you, or them? They just see his curated, false self.

KitBiscuit · 22/01/2022 00:08

Clearly they don't know him the way you do. Also the key word is "think". They THINK he is sweet and perfect but, really, they have no way of knowing, do they?

Do you live together, OP?

Original poster
Snoop85 · 22/01/2022 00:12

He recently moved in but said he couldn’t help with any of the bills because he had stuff he needed to pay and sort.
He bought a new car behind my back 2 weeks ago and when he came home with it, he said he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want an argument over what he spent his money on

OP posts:
BluebellsGreenbells · 22/01/2022 00:18

Mug.

KitBiscuit · 22/01/2022 00:22

Gosh, I'm sorry OP! It's so typical though, saying they didn't tell you as they didn't want an argument - making it seem like it's somehow your fault. When in fact having an argument about it would be the normal reaction because HE BOUGHT A CAR WHILST FREELOADING.

Do you have any way of getting him out, or are you not quite there yet? I mean I'm not trying to say LTB as I am not going to pretend that it's always easy and straight forward to do.

Does he work? Are there kids involved?

Original poster
Snoop85 · 22/01/2022 00:34

Unfortunately he blames me for everything. He manages to twist everything so that I am to blame when I know that I’m not. If I say anything, he calls me crazy and tells people that.
I have 2 children but they aren’t his.
I don’t know why I didn’t just kick him out. I’ve now lent him so much money that I have had to beg him for some after paying for everything.
I no longer have a car because his friend wanted to buy it and he literally took it and gave it to him.
I’m a mug. As said above. A complete mug

OP posts:
Shapiro · 22/01/2022 00:37

Time to take control back of your life and show him the door.

Pantsomime · 22/01/2022 00:37

Ok So stop being a mug- if you can’t face him over getting money back just cut your losses and kick him out NOW, you know it’ll get worse

Sunbird24 · 22/01/2022 01:05

Oh he’s a financial vampire, and if you don’t get him out he will suck you dry and then merrily bugger off to his next victim without so much as a backward glance. Now that your eyes are open, keep reminding yourself that every extra penny he is costing you is a penny he’s taking away from your kids.

It’s not exactly going to be easy to get him out, but he has no rights to your property which helps. You tell him this relationship is not working for you and he needs to leave, then when he inevitably tries to gaslight you in response and make out like there’s something wrong with you for saying that, your natural comeback is along the lines of “then you’ll be as glad to end this as I am”. Set a deadline, change the locks. Doubt very much you’ll get back any money you’ve lent him, but you’ll be protecting whatever you’ve got left as well as your future income from him.

You’re not a mug, you’ve just been badly deceived, but now it’s time to do something about it. Cheering you on from over here!

Wafflesnsniffles · 22/01/2022 01:29

Id change the locks, pack his bags and boot him out. You absolutely dont need this guy in your life.

FreyaMaya · 22/01/2022 01:32

Find some strength and leave him! You and your children deserve better!

Original poster
Snoop85 · 22/01/2022 02:06

We do. We absolutely do

OP posts:
LiG123 · 22/01/2022 02:10

Get rid now before you lose more than you already have!

SmellyOldOwls · 22/01/2022 06:34

You cannot put your children through a life with this man in the house. Tell him this morning that he has to go.

Billybagpuss · 22/01/2022 07:14

You can do this, change the locks and pack his bags. He’s paid you nothing, you owe him nothing.

Billybagpuss · 22/01/2022 07:15

Did you sign over the car?

Original poster
Snoop85 · 22/01/2022 07:55

@Billybagpuss

Did you sign over the car?
I didn’t sign anything actually?
OP posts:
IAmSantaOhYesIAm · 22/01/2022 08:01

Todays the day to start anew.
Today you take control back of your life, for your sake and for your childrens.
You know you cannot carry on, you know it’s not right to be treated in this way.
The best thing you can do is tell him to go, today. Show your children that you deserve to be treated with respect - set them an example for their future relationships.
And keep posting here for advice because this forum is so so supportive.

rainbowstardrops · 22/01/2022 09:05

I agree, you need to take back control! I can't believe he bought a car behind your back and gave yours away!
Kick him out. This morning!

BluebellsGreenbells · 22/01/2022 09:35

If you haven’t signed the car over it’s still yours and registered to you as owner - did you cancel the insurance? Report it as theft.

Ovenaffray · 22/01/2022 09:37

Report the car as stolen.

How could he sell it without your signature?

Kick him out. Today.

Billybagpuss · 22/01/2022 10:18

So he’s either forged your signature which is fraud and you can report to the police or the car is still yours. Do you have the log book. Start by contacting dvla

Billybagpuss · 22/01/2022 10:20

Oh and if it’s still in your name any speeding tickets will come to you, you have to get this sorted before it gets messy.

AtrociousCircumstance · 22/01/2022 10:30

Get him out. You can do it. Protect yourself and your kids. Which is literally the most important job in your life. Fight for your own life fgs!

Original poster
Snoop85 · 05/02/2022 03:27

It’s all so much easier said than done

OP posts:
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