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Original poster

Need to talk!

40 replies

Snoop85 · 21/01/2022 23:58

I know that he is awful to me but I need to know that someone else agrees.
Everyone we know thinks he is sweet and perfect

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 05/02/2022 07:24

You need to confide in someone irl and let them know exactly what is happening. Do you have a close friend or relative who will believe you and help you get rid of him?

GeneLovesJezebel · 05/02/2022 07:27

Please move him out again.

Changedmane · 05/02/2022 07:49

Ask him to leave. You don’t need permission ir evidence of abuse. It’s enough that you aren’t happy. There are lots of reasons you could give but I would change the locks, give him a date to collect his things and tell him it’s not working out snd I don’t feel the same. Until the point gets understood

Changedmane · 05/02/2022 07:51

I would also tell him I am going to report him for theft if he does not leave. If not for you for your kids. He is cocklodging and cuckooung you. Ask the police or male relatives to be there when he collects his stuff but change the locks today.

doitwithlove · 05/02/2022 07:54

@Snoop85 WHY is it so much easier said than done?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/02/2022 09:19

@Snoop85

I know that he is awful to me but I need to know that someone else agrees. Everyone we know thinks he is sweet and perfect
You know what you know, OP.

A friend was married to someone like this - a man who’d been a friend of dh for decades. Everyone except the very very few, inc. me and dh, thought he was no end of a good bloke, life and soul, good old X, etc.

I should add that we didn’t witness the horrible behaviour until they’d been married for quite a while - until then he’d been meticulous about maintaining the facade.

The bloke is dead now, and I can’t say I’ve ever been sorry. Things that only came out after he’d died, and incidentally devastated his widow, made me realise that’d he’d been a classic narcissist.

Billybagpuss · 05/02/2022 14:47

Are you in the Uk @Snoop85 you were awake at silly o clock this morning, this situation is doing you no good.

Take baby steps one thing at a time.

I suggest you sort your car out first. You’ve not sold it, you’ve not signed anything have you received anything from dvla it’s still in your name which means you are responsible for anything wrong they do.
www.gov.uk/contact-the-dvla/y/vehicle-registration-and-v5c-certificates-log-books

These are the details you need. Phone them first thing Monday morning and tell them the truth of what has happened be honest.

Thing number 2 on your list should be getting in touch with womens aid.

Thingsdogetbetter · 05/02/2022 15:04

Easier to stay with a man who freeloads, steals your car and treats you like shit? Easier to stay with a man who is literally costing you money (increases bills and council tax, food, etc) that should be going on you and your dc? Easier to stay with long term pain of being treated badly than the short term pain of changing locks and telling him to fuck off???

And I guarantee not everyone thinks he's sweet and perfect - they may act like they do, but they don't! Standards for friends are much lower than standards for partners.

Original poster
Snoop85 · 13/02/2022 05:52

I want to thank you all for your advice and kindness.
It was, and still is hard but he’s gone. I’ve taken back control of my life and I’m now trying my best to put it back together and give my children the life they deserve.
I don’t have much support or friends to turn to so I am extremely grateful to have found this site and you ladies on here.
Thank you again

OP posts:
Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 13/02/2022 06:01

I've just started reading this thread, thanks insomnia - and I'm so glad to read your update! I hope you keep your strength and never see the git again. You sound like a lovely mum, all the very best to you Flowers

SusieSusieSoo · 13/02/2022 06:07

Well done you! Fantastic news. I wish you good luck for a safe and happy future. You've done brilliantly getting him out. I'm so sorry it's been such a difficult time for you. Xx

Bogeyes · 13/02/2022 06:15

Hooray. He's gone! Have a wonderful future.x

Billybagpuss · 13/02/2022 07:02

@Snoop85

I want to thank you all for your advice and kindness. It was, and still is hard but he’s gone. I’ve taken back control of my life and I’m now trying my best to put it back together and give my children the life they deserve. I don’t have much support or friends to turn to so I am extremely grateful to have found this site and you ladies on here. Thank you again
Well done @Snoop85

Did you get your car back?

rainbowstardrops · 13/02/2022 07:04

I'm pleased he's gone! Good luck Thanks

Sunbird24 · 13/02/2022 09:57

Well done @Snoop85, that must have been tough for you, so you should be really proud of yourself right now.

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