My Mothers health worries

[52andblue]

I live 375m from my Mother.
This is not a coincidence.
She was neglectful when I was young.
However... she has told me she has some health concerns.

She is now 82, until recently in good health.
Some health anxiety re Covid but not apart from this.
(she is double jabbed & boosted but still disinfecting shopping)

She seems sharp enough mentally, a bit forgetful but age appropriate.
She has had 'some narrowing of hte back passage for a while but GP just tells me to use Seno-kot which I do but I only 'go' every 4/5 days so I am in quite a lot of pain, hurts to sit down etc'.
More worryingly she tells me she has lost 1-2st in the last few months and is permanantly thirsty. She is extremely tired. She only gets dressed once a week to go shopping with her H. She sits outside in the car whilst he gets a few bits in. Then she has to lie down for 2 days.
I have told her that sudden weight loss, extreme fatigue & unquenchable thirst should be investigated. She says GP's are not seeing people for months, anyway she''ll get passed to 'that foreign man' (oh, yes, did I mention she is racist?) who told me to take Senokot' so whats the point. She won't go to A&E as 'its not A&E matter'. She won't even go to ask at the Pharmacist in case she catches Covid.

I am a long way away. I could travel (not easy for me, I am a Carer for my 2 kids) but she probably wouldn't let me in as I will have been on dirty trains, so I think that's pointless.

Not sure what I am asking really sorry.
But would you be concerned about a 1+st weight loss, thirst & fatigue to this extent? I wondered about diabetes, or thyroid issues?

@52andblue So very sorry for all you have gone through. You have been a better daughter than your family deserve.
Truly hope you can find your peace 💐

Hello again,
I just wrote a long post but lost it (perhaps it was a hint to be more brief!)

Two things have happened since I last posted.

(I'd gone to London with both kids as Dd had asked to see her Grandmother. I had real misgivings, but she is ASD & has a heightened sense of fairness & her brother had just been taken down & I don't want to treat them differently - Ever.
By sheer chance I also had tickets, bought months ago, for a London based end of exams type 'treat' the next day which I'd thought we wouldn't now be able to attend but I had them on me so it wasn't all about Grandma for them & they had something nice & stress free to do too if the timings worked out...)

So, we'd just got off in London & were crossing to get the onward train when I got the text. I decided not to take the kids on down as the text said that Brother was taking Dad to his house (it appears Mums body was alone at the house until collection during the night?!) anway, nothing helpful for Dd would have come from being around that atmosphere. So I explained Grandma had died & we spent some time thinking of her & talking about it. We stayed over in London.

Later that evening I got a text from a Cousin. I've not seen him since he was a kid1998 (& in 2001 whole wider family rejected me after abuse claims) but we started to text 'merry christmas' each year a few years back as we now have something in common re our kids. Anyways... the text said how sorry he was to hear that my Mum died and he was there as an ear if I needed one. I think it was very genuine & a nice thing to receive as, although she was hugely damaged & damaging, she was the only 'receiving Mothering' experience I ever had. He also said that my Brother was kind enough to let Family know when to visit before Mum died. It turns out that Family visited over 2 days last week when I was trying to establish between hospital & Brother where she was & in what state. He reassured me that, 'although he understood I'd not been able to visit due to distance & family matters that she'd not been alone at the end'. I replied. I said that we'd visited 2 weeks ago, then exams / exH had Covid so couldnt 'cover', but we were again enroute when we got text. I said that it had been badly handled (she'd been brought back by Hosptial at 8pm, fell out of bed at 11pm, family called 111, she lay on the floor for 3 hours whilst awaiting ambulance - incredibly she'd been in a bed with no side rails & it had not been pushed against the wall...) & that Comms had been poor. I said I appreciated his text as I did. (but some of info contained was a bit of an unexpected sting in the tail)

2nd thing is:

When we attended our 'treat' thing the next day there was a nasty accident right in front of us & some people were badly injured. Because we were on the spot we were able to help (in a small way). It really made me look 'outwards' again. We are alive & well. I am so grateful to have my two children in my life.. Life is very challenging (now single, no money, they have ASD etc etc etc)
BUT.... we are alive. I love them. I think they love me. Certainly they know they can come & tell me if they are pissed off with me as well as 'life in general' & we will talk about it. I am learning, as they are ASD but are also now teens, to sometimes tell them if I need them to think about their behaviours too. It's a learning process & we'll get there, together hopefully.
Co incidentally' (or maybe not?) Ds was sad the other day (his best friend has a huge & warm family & Ds can't fail to observe the difference as his Father's family are distant too, although not in my family's league of craziness).
I told him that there is no link between the 'worthiness' of a young person and an absent / unkind family. It't 'them' not him, & they are the sadder for having missed out on watching & helping a young person grow up. He has SO much to offer. I wish someone had told me that. but at least I can 'tell' myself now.

I probably won't post again but I wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to people who have replied to me here and given me this space to work out how I feel about all this. It has made more of a difference & meant more than I can say.