Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Neighbour bangs over every little noise

34 replies

Tilda456 · 18/01/2022 12:32

If I’m doing simple every day things like laundry, putting dishes away, mopping the floor my neighbour will bang on the wall with a hammer.
We ignored her and done those things a bit quieter but this gave her the green light to continue so if we’d walk around the house, laugh or close a door she would bang with the hammer. By this point we were living on egg shells trying to be as quiet as possible to avoid that dreaded sound. It caused me a lot of sleepless nights waiting for it to begin and eventually I decided I am not being silent in my own home and will live comfortably and within respectful reason.
The neighbour went berserk because I dared to have (quiet) music on the radio whilst cooking and playing twister with my nephews with a lot of laughter and collapsing on the laminate flooring. My partner thumped back on the wall when she hammered and since then she has upped her game and bangs repeatedly even when we’re silent or not home (ring door bell picks it up!) and now overnight which keeps us awake.
Obviously this has started a ‘war’ of sorts but I don’t know what to do now. I refuse to be silent when we aren’t anti social people but this intimidation needs to stop.
She is an older lady whom when she has her grandchildren over encourages them to be loud but it’s not ok for any children in my home to laugh or play. My partner knocked on her door once to try the ‘we heard a bang and wanted to make sure you were safe’ line but she told him to F off!
What do I do? I miss sleeping!

OP posts:
Nsky · 18/01/2022 12:46

Write a note, explain

Shapiro · 18/01/2022 12:49

If she has her grandchildren over can you speak to her son or daughter?

Shapiro · 18/01/2022 12:50

Ask the son or daughter to return and come to your house and witness for herself the old lady banging with the hammer over nothing.

AColdDuncanGoodhew · 18/01/2022 12:54

I'd contact the council, put in a noise complaint.

seekinglondonlife · 18/01/2022 12:56

Live your life normally and ignore her bangs. If she's a pensioner contact Help the Aged and say you are concerned about her.

AllotmentTime · 18/01/2022 12:59

I’d want to blast heavy metal for 10 mins every time she bangs. Train her out of it!!

I’m sure that’s probably a shit idea which would make her escalate, but tempting Grin

tocas · 18/01/2022 13:02

Sounds like she has mental health issues perhaps? If you can't have a reasonable conversation with her put formal complaint in to the council or call 101.
The keeping you awake thing in particular is? Harassment

ANameChangeAgain · 18/01/2022 13:02

Contact the police and council as this is starting to look like harassment. Absolutely don't retaliate by banging in return, as it will makes you look as bad as her in the eyes of the authorities.

User3579 · 18/01/2022 13:02

Have you spoken to her at all?

Qwertykeys · 18/01/2022 13:04

I would report her to the council. Maybe try to catch one of her children and explain she needs to stop the banging

GoodnightGrandma · 18/01/2022 13:05

Do you/ she own your homes ?

SituationCritical · 18/01/2022 13:13

Video evidence and keep a log of everything especially if she is doing in during the night. If she starts banging get your phone out and record. Report to the council.
While I'd be sorely tempted to blast music against her wall while I went out for hours it isn't going to solve anything other than being satisfying.

SituationCritical · 18/01/2022 13:17

To add, the banging when you are out is bizarre; I'd be questioning her mental health and would mention that to the council (not in a vindictive way, I genuinely do think that's a concerning way to act)

danni0509 · 18/01/2022 13:20

Oh I couldn't stand this, I would have to partake in war!!

You should never have to live in your own home treading on eggshells because of batshit neighbours.

My neighbours make loads of noise, I'd not dream of complaining, my ds makes loads too!

Riapia · 18/01/2022 13:22

When she next bangs on the wall take a hammer round and say.

“This has just come through the wall, I think it may be yours.”

MayThePawsBeWithYou · 18/01/2022 13:22

Keep a record of the banging, I would speak to her family if you can and express your concerns over her health as she even bangs when youre out and speak to the police about harrassment,

ivykaty44 · 18/01/2022 13:22

you have this banging on the walls recorded on ring doorbell, so I would report to council and ask them to mediate for this woman to stop this harassment

with the evidence you have against her it isn't going to look great that she is delibretly just randomly knocking on the walls. The NDN will also look pretty stupid when she finds out that she does it when you are out of the home..

Wootothewho · 18/01/2022 13:23

@AllotmentTime

I’d want to blast heavy metal for 10 mins every time she bangs. Train her out of it!!

I’m sure that’s probably a shit idea which would make her escalate, but tempting Grin

I would do this too
PeeAche · 18/01/2022 13:30

Oh no. I think you might live next to my mother. I'm so so sorry.

She also causes milk to sour and dogs to become inexplicably lame.

Try hanging a horseshoe on your door and leaving a pile of salt outside your bedroom. And pray.

MayThePawsBeWithYou · 18/01/2022 13:32

Would the police or her family pay her a visit during the night if she is banging on your walls, you might be worried she has had a fall and is trying to get your attention or is being attacked and needs help.

Knittedfairies · 18/01/2022 13:38

Perhaps you could invite the Environmental Health officer round for a cup of tea; she'll bang on the wall when you take the lid off the biscuit tin and he/she will see what you're having to deal with.

Escapetothecatshome · 18/01/2022 13:40

I would phone the police obviously the non urgent number and ask somebody to come to your house, so they can hear the banging for themselves then they can go straight round and give her the shock of her life - fairly sure that will knock some sense into her !

Gazelda · 18/01/2022 13:43

I think you should refrain from retaliating. But also you should feel free to make usual family noise.

Speak with one of her DC. Explain that the hammering happens when you are put, during the night etc. They might not be aware of her behaviour, or might just hear her complaints that you are unbearably noisy neighbours.

If that avenue doesn't work, speak with environmental at the council.

Gazelda · 18/01/2022 13:43

*out, not put

Woodlandarchitect · 18/01/2022 13:45

First of all it sounds like the sound insulation needs improving for both your sakes. Imagine if a family moved in her house - would you notice the noise?

Secondly, next time she bangs in the night. Phone the police / her family etc to do a “welfare check” on her. You can simply say “there was knocking on the wall and it sounded like she was in need of help”

The beauty of this is that you can simply say everyone was asleep and she woke you up. So people know you aren’t noisy, and that she disturbs you!

You have to act dumb but be nice - soon she’ll be regarded as a nuisance by everyone and they’ll have to talk to her about it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread