Neighbour bangs over every little noise

[Tilda456]

If I’m doing simple every day things like laundry, putting dishes away, mopping the floor my neighbour will bang on the wall with a hammer.
We ignored her and done those things a bit quieter but this gave her the green light to continue so if we’d walk around the house, laugh or close a door she would bang with the hammer. By this point we were living on egg shells trying to be as quiet as possible to avoid that dreaded sound. It caused me a lot of sleepless nights waiting for it to begin and eventually I decided I am not being silent in my own home and will live comfortably and within respectful reason.
The neighbour went berserk because I dared to have (quiet) music on the radio whilst cooking and playing twister with my nephews with a lot of laughter and collapsing on the laminate flooring. My partner thumped back on the wall when she hammered and since then she has upped her game and bangs repeatedly even when we’re silent or not home (ring door bell picks it up!) and now overnight which keeps us awake.
Obviously this has started a ‘war’ of sorts but I don’t know what to do now. I refuse to be silent when we aren’t anti social people but this intimidation needs to stop.
She is an older lady whom when she has her grandchildren over encourages them to be loud but it’s not ok for any children in my home to laugh or play. My partner knocked on her door once to try the ‘we heard a bang and wanted to make sure you were safe’ line but she told him to F off!
What do I do? I miss sleeping!

Just be aware, if you do file a complaint with the council, and at some point decide to sell your house, you have to disclose a neighbour dispute. My sister had similar issues, you have my sympathies

It isn’t normal to hear quiet / low music from next door.

So I’d worry that there was a party wall issue. Lack of insulation or a structural fault.

I just think she banging on the wall and because you have a busy household it's happening when slight noises are made in your house op. It's nothing to do with noise you are making I really don't think.
Report to council the police and possibly adult ss.

Well, maybe if you go round. Your DH may have put her into defemsive mode. Or wait to speak to her kids, when they drop off/pick up the GCs.

Chances are she is having other problems. They might be open to discussion.

But mostly go and talk to her and tell her that she is being utterly unreasonable to bang so loudly for so little.

@AllotmentTime

I’d want to blast heavy metal for 10 mins every time she bangs. Train her out of it!!

I’m sure that’s probably a shit idea which would make her escalate, but tempting

Ooh yeah this is a good idea

Once when I was a student my next door neighbour would play music all night long because she was awake and doing drugs. Then she'd sleep all day. There was a particular thin bit of wall ajpining her room and mine, i think it was a fire escape because my room exited into the kitchen.

Anyway, one night id had enough. I got up for a 9am lecture and taped my phone to the thin bit of wall and set a reminder alarm to go off every 5mins, loudly and on vibrate. I stayed out all morning. She didnt do it again

@Woodlandarchitect

First of all it sounds like the sound insulation needs improving for both your sakes. Imagine if a family moved in her house - would you notice the noise?

Secondly, next time she bangs in the night. Phone the police / her family etc to do a “welfare check” on her. You can simply say “there was knocking on the wall and it sounded like she was in need of help”

The beauty of this is that you can simply say everyone was asleep and she woke you up. So people know you aren’t noisy, and that she disturbs you!

You have to act dumb but be nice - soon she’ll be regarded as a nuisance by everyone and they’ll have to talk to her about it.

this is basically what i came on to write.

Be ridiculously pleasant and bland and offer faux concern.

@Munchies123

Just be aware, if you do file a complaint with the council, and at some point decide to sell your house, you have to disclose a neighbour dispute. My sister had similar issues, you have my sympathies

Not if the OP follows Woodlandarchitect suggestion.

I wonder if it is worth asking to go into her place and hearing what she hears? Woodlandarchitect's point about sound insulation is a really good one.