How to ask for no presents for kids birthday

[Drbrowns]

If someone put ‘no presents, just your presence’ on a kids party invite would you think no presents at all or that they’re looking for cash/vouchers.? Have my kids party coming up, first once since covid and first one with school parents and don’t want them to think we’re trying to be grabby when really we just don’t want any presents as they’ve more then enough toys, and clothes, and everything else.

@Comedycook

If I saw that on an invitation, I'd still bring a gift...maybe something small like a book or a box of sweets

@Comedycook

Why?
Why would you do this?
What is so hard to understand about "no presents"?
It's only two words and they are quite clear.

@longestlurkerever

Bit unfair. I'm not sure any busy parent spends a long time choosing stuff for yet another child's party. So it does tend to be same old same old and "tat". Or too expensive for many.

I like the idea of £2 in a piggy bank so the child can choose.. Or gifting to a charity of the child's choice or the school.

Mind you I was brought up when birthday parties, let alone whole class birthday parties, weren't a thing. No party bags, nowt. We're being led by the nose by people who make money from these things. Not to mention Party Pieces.

It maybe is a bit unfair, and it's not particularly directed towards the OP who comes across as thoughtful and flexible, and on the whole I'm pro reducing waste and unnecessary gift giving, between adults in particular, but but there is an undercurrent of snobbery running through a lot of threads about kids' toys that just grates on me tbh, and the overuse of the word "tat" directed as all things not strictly vetted by the child's parents is part of that. I think it's because it's not really about whether the gift giver or gift recipient are happy with the exchange, but more about the parent weighing in and passing judgment that that particular gift is wasteful and annoying (while presumably at the same time enjoying bestowing/receiving gifts themselves).

Parties and presents are not a new thing and certainly not invented by Party Pieces. They feature heavily in the work of Shirley Hughes, for example!

Question for those who don’t like no gift parties: do you genuinely spend time choosing gifts for your DCs friends parties, or is it generally a regift/10 for £10 book/picked up in the supermarket item?

Does it bother you to think that your gift might end up donated/regifted?

It means what it says, no presents. Rude to ignore this and still take a gift.

In our school most classes do a “card party” so you officially only bring a card but usually you put £5 in it. It’s awkward initially but most classes have taken it on board and it’s a huge success. Kids love having 15 * £5 rather than 15 art sets.

I would take it to mean no gift, and I definitely wouldn't bring one anyway.

But if I were you, I wouldn't do this.

Charity donations are a good idea.

I learnt the hard way when everyone bought presents to DS's whole class party. For his younger sisters party I said no presents was fine, so much better.

@MotherWol

Question for those who don’t like no gift parties: do you genuinely spend time choosing gifts for your DCs friends parties, or is it generally a regift/10 for £10 book/picked up in the supermarket item?

Does it bother you to think that your gift might end up donated/regifted?

My children tend to pick something they think their friends will enjoy. When they were younger and didn't know everyone as well I usually gave a voucher for cinema/local soft play/science place/pottery painting etc.

I wouldn't be offended if things were regifted. That's not why I don't like the no gift requests. I just think in the majority of cases if you ask the child whose birthday it is if they'd like presents they'd say yes.

Thanks for everyone’s input. Of course dc will be getting presents from us, grandparents and aunts and uncles, so it’s not like they won’t be getting any presents. With regards party bags we are doing no plastic/low waste where everything can either be composted or recycled. It’s not a moral judgement on what other people do, and I definitely don’t care if other parents want to accept presents for their children, it’s just we are trying very hard to make cut backs on waste in all areas, and I feel it’s unnecessary for my dc to receive 28 different presents.

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@pompomsgalore

Surely a money whip around doesn’t come from the kids either though? Wouldn’t cross my 5 year olds mind![/quote]
No I don't mean in it in that way. I mean the sentiment of 'no presents' hasn't come from the birthday child. What child would choose to have nothing from their friend s instead of something nice to open?

Oh come on OP! Let your child have some bloody birthday presents! I wonder sometimes about people, I really do.

Perhaps suggest a fiver party. reducereuserenewblog.com/fiverparty/#:~:text=A%20fiver%20party%20is%20basically,%2C%20membership%2C%20experience%2C%20etc.

If you don't want to get loads of gifts, maybe only invite half a dozen kids? The main thing that's changed since I was a kid is this idea you have to invite the whole class!