Things that you learned the hard way

[FlyingSoda]

I learned that you shouldn't put bottles of Cola out in the garage to keep them cold, when it's one of the coldest Winters on record. They go off like a bomb. I could hear them from a street away and I'm amazed that no one called the police.

What have you learned the hard way?

That talking to people about my mental health didn’t give me support, it got me judged and avoided.

If you are paying money for something the seller will outright lie to you in order to get your money. Even if it’s a professional such as a dentist or cosmetic surgeon who you’d expect to be able to trust.

People will pretend to be your friend but they’re not. They will be friendly while it suits them then stab you in the back when it benefits them to do so.

Nobody really cares about your deepest feelings and private grief. Not your spouse, your kids, your parents. Nobody.

Ofsted ratings are a load of rubbish. Outstanding ratings are often achieved by bullshitting Ofsted and just pretending to be great while they’re watching.

I guess the common theme here is trust no-one because everyone lies.

@broccolibush you can get past this. I promise. But you genuinely need to learn to love yourself first. Even if this involves you doing things EVERY SINGLE DAY to prove them wrong (within your own head),

If someone fucks you over once, they will do it again so don't waste your time.

Oh and the most important one: Ignore people who tell you “you marry the person not the family”. You should absolutely run a mile from people with problem families. You will have to spend Christmas with them for the rest of your life and it will ruins your holidays forever. You’ll have to put up with them at your kids birthday parties and all other family occasions. They will inflict their shit on your kids. No matter how great the person is, if their family is a pain you should run away and marry someone else with a nice pleasant family.

Your petrol car will not get far if you fill it with diesel.

Buttercream is best made with sugar not salt.

My friend's cat will scratch me however nice I am to him.

Don’t marry a man you can’t really talk to.

Yes. It sounds obvious, but somehow I did it, anyway.

Check the age thingy on films before agreeing to let your 8 year old watch them 😕😕

Never buy cheap paint!
My mum told me this and I decided I knew better and bought B&Qs own emulsion for my walls... took 4 coats and still looked patchy :(
Valspar all the way.

as I pointed out to DH (twice) if the new hot tap says that the water is boiling don't put your finger under running water to check

You love your friends more than they love you. It’s not a bad thing.

Appreciate the good things in life when you have it cause you never know when they will be taken away

@grapewine

The words of bullies will never truly go away.

I think this quote from the Handmaids Tale applied here: Don't let the bastards grind you down.

If your toddler squirts a full bottle of washing up liquid on the floor don't try to clean it up with water..... Unless you want a foam party😂

If you spill fuel over your hand while refilling a lighter, wash it off before checking the lighter works again.

@cereallover

I haven't had friends since secondary school and I have aspergers so making friends is difficult. I did go twice and tried but people already have their own friends and no room for one more, despite what they say.

You need to give it more time. My son has ASD and also gets worried that he can't make friends if there isn't an instant connection. But people can take a while to get to know you. Keep going along and maybe try some other mum and baby groups - music or aquababies or baby yoga or story time at the library or church playgroups etc. It was at a church playgroup that I found some lovely mum friends. And local coffee mornings. Ask your health visitor or GP what is happening in your area.

That nobody givens a shit what you look like, I spent all my 20s stressing about getting it right and now in my 30s realise nobody cares and I love it

That no matter how little or hard I try I will never fit in with my family. I be invited to family occasions because they can’t just not invite me but when I’m there it’s like no one would notice if I left. No one invites me to be in photos, no one talks to me, no one responds if I say something in a group discussion. I’ve tried being the life and soul and i’ve tried acting disinterested and everything inbetween and it doesn’t matter what I do, I’m treated differently to my siblings. And it never hurts any less.

If you buy cheap, you pay twice.

Many people in this world are takers and not givers. Learn who does not have your back so you can get rid of any expectations.

However friendly they may seem, very few colleagues actually give a hoot about you.

The actions of many are a reflection of who they are, not who you are. This fact has consoled me at awful times in my life when I was wronged and convinced myself it was because I was somehow less of a person/unworthy of better treatment.

If you feel you are the one keeping a friendship going, stop calling/texting/arranging meet ups. If you no longer hear from 'friend' you were correct. It is always good to know where you stand with others.

Humans are selfish. At times I shudder at how selfish I can be. Acknowledging my selfishness helps to keep me in check.