Your Perfect (imagined) Life!

[Jitters22]

You have a blank piece of paper and a pen (or a post on Mumsnet) .... write down/describe your perfect life.

What would it be, where would you be living, in what part of the world or would you have homes in more than one place? Who would you be living with or would you prefer to be living alone?

What would your home look like, the rooms, the furnishings, the garden, the exterior? What would you be doing for a career or not, or would you prefer not to have to work?

Would you have loads of money, or be happier with just enough to get comfortable? Or would you prefer to live a more minimalist or even frugal lifestyle with very little in the way of possessions or wealth?

How would you spend your leisure time; would you like to be able to devote lots of time to a hobby or interest, and would you have any ambitions, or not?

It can be anything you like, anywhere you like, as much or as little as you like - but what would be your Perfect Life?

What a lovely thread.

I'd live in a detached house with no near neighbours with views over fields & backing onto woodland.

All the cats I've ever had would still be with me & I'd spend my days with them, pottering & watching the birds at my various bird feeders.

I'd be vegetarian & would grow all my own veg & be 2 stone lighter than I am now. My house would be light with lots of glass & wood burning stoves.

I'd have a huge garden with water & ponds filled with frogs & I'd paint and read. Occasionally I'd venture into town for a wander & I'd buy a plant or two at the local garden centre.

I'd mostly be alone but I'd have a partner who loved exactly the same things as me & we'd sit quietly together enjoying nature, good food & a glass of wine

Thank you to everyone who has posted on this thread.

Apart, that is, from the cynical nasties who posted immediately after my OP, and who seem to have not surprisingly disappeared entirely.

I am so grateful to those of you who ignored the negatively and posted here regardless.

I know I dream constantly about my perfect life (although my current life is good so I don't wish to come across as ungrateful).

I like my little house (apart from the shit bathroom and the horrible neighbour ) and I have wonderful kids and live in a nice seaside town.

It's just that I dream of a 'perfect life' which maybe wouldn't even be that perfect if I actually had it, but isn't that the beauty of dreams?

A very small house or cabin by the sea. I'd go for monthly visits to the local town for provisions and possibly do part time child care with a local nursery when they needed me. I would be alone most days and spend my time reading , watching the sea or walking on the shore.

I feel bad for writing that.

Van life
It would miraculously get transported to different continents, and I would miraculously be able to drive and not get the heebeejeebees at night at every little noise.
I would have to do nothing to earn the money to facilitate this.

@Stormyinacoffeemug

A very small house or cabin by the sea. I'd go for monthly visits to the local town for provisions and possibly do part time child care with a local nursery when they needed me. I would be alone most days and spend my time reading , watching the sea or walking on the shore.

I feel bad for writing that.

I've always said that wherever I lived I'd only go 'into town' once a month.

I'd have a big old chest freezer in an outhouse somewhere and batch cook meals.

You absolutely shouldn't feel 'bad' for longing to be alone. Look upthread. Loads of us feel the same way. Children, family and partners are wonderful but lots of us are most content by ourselves.

With solitude comes peace, reflection and calm. When family come to visit there is always joy in being in their company but then they go away again, back to their lives, and you return to yours.

@FindingMeno

Van life It would miraculously get transported to different continents, and I would miraculously be able to drive and not get the heebeejeebees at night at every little noise. I would have to do nothing to earn the money to facilitate this.

Van life I do find appealing in many respects.

The minimal way of living. The mobility, the fact that you can upticks and move on on a whim.

However ........ while I could live the van life for maybe four, or five moths from Spring to Summer, I'd need to have a home to go to.

With a soft bed, a warm fire, and bricks and mortar sheltering me from the cold.

This is a lovely thread.

I'd live in a really old, simple stone cottage that we renovate ourselves, but not 'cleaned it up' too much. In the middle of wild countryside, near the sea.

I'd live with my partner, and maybe 2 or 3 dogs - one is an Irish wolfhound, (I used to imagine he'd be called Emmanuel but I'm not sure now 😁) Some cats and other rescue animals who I go out and feed every morning.

I'd have my own little pottery studio in a stone built outbuilding.

There'd be plenty of space for any of our children to stay whenever they wanted (and to have their own space.) Maybe including other outbuildings.

I'd eat plants and veg and seeds and nuts and try to grow plenty of things myself. Along with a pretty and wild garden. I'd have enough money to feel comfortable and not have to worry about it.

I’d live in Jennifer Aniston’s house. With her. And go on those holidays to Cabo San Lucas...

With the children and my mum in tow - a luxurious log cabin in Montana, plenty of land, several dogs and horses, a husband who is very capable and pro-animals with some sort of useful conservationist/bears/wolves/wildlife job that I occasionally help him with when I am not bombing about in my lovely pick-up truck, being a valuable part of the small town community or reading lots of books in my swing seat on the porch. (I'm too lazy to do the conservation job full time, but it'd be fun to tag along with an expert and learn).

Or, without children and mum, Cuba, old-world apartment, lots of linen and silk clothes, a Cuban Orson Welles for a husband, lots of literary and musical friends, spend my days at outdoor cafes, the beach, sailing and my nights at jazz bars.

Oh no, just read that CSL is no good for sea swimming... I’d persuade Jen to go back to her roots, and do a summer island-hopping the Cyclades.

@ElEmEnOhPee

I would keep the children I have I guess

You're far kinder than me. In my perfect life I've erased my DS, I love him and everything but I'd give anything for a bit of peace

I wouldn't erase my children, but right now in their mid 20s, earning well but still in extended education they are both still living at home.

I would like them to be visitors to my rural cottage paradise for Christmas, Easter, half terms and Summer holidays.

Welcome and loved, but equally happy to wave them off again.

Honestly I'd settle for pain free and good mental health. Everything else is not that important to me
But if I was pain free I'd be able to do more with my kids, I'd be able to walk without aids for the first time in years. I could sit on the floor and play barbies or push cars around the mat.
And if I had good MH I wouldnt suffer psychosis so I wouldn't be told I'm worthless constantly or to kill myself. I'd be happy.
Thats all I want from life. To be happy and pain free

Pretty much living it already (touch wood)

I'd love a small cottage with a big garden, on a small Scottish island or maybe on the mainland but very remote. I'd have four children and earn all my money from writing, but also somehow have enough time to be with the children and grow vegetables. DP would work at a nearby outdoor pursuits centre. We'd have lots of cats and a couple of dogs.

I have a less perfect version of this with only enough money to have two dc, and we live less remotely as I want our family to live in a community. My career whilst creative is too busy to home educate and therefore we need to be in a village at least, so that primary age dc can walk themselves to school. We do have lots of cats and two dogs though and will soon have a little cottage with a big vegetable garden, and DP does work in outdoor education.

I'm happy with the less perfect version but I do still daydream about being a little more remote.

@lovetobeatpeace

What a lovely thread.

I'd live in a detached house with no near neighbours with views over fields & backing onto woodland.

All the cats I've ever had would still be with me & I'd spend my days with them, pottering & watching the birds at my various bird feeders.

I'd be vegetarian & would grow all my own veg & be 2 stone lighter than I am now. My house would be light with lots of glass & wood burning stoves.

I'd have a huge garden with water & ponds filled with frogs & I'd paint and read. Occasionally I'd venture into town for a wander & I'd buy a plant or two at the local garden centre.

I'd mostly be alone but I'd have a partner who loved exactly the same things as me & we'd sit quietly together enjoying nature, good food & a glass of wine

Love your post

I’d like four children, and live in central London in a beautiful Georgian terrace. My husband and I would dote on them, and I would work in a full time job I love.

We would traipse through Hampstead Heath, gorge on the cultural offerings in the many museums and galleries. Have a local restaurant that we’d visit every Friday, cafe for Saturday brunch. Sit around a huge oak table in the kitchen doing schoolwork, artwork, office work, whilst piano/cello/guitar/drumming practice floated through the house.

There would be a few years of calm, my husband and I enjoying what we used to when the children moved away. Theatre, concerts, late night dinners, taking up our old instruments and playing and singing our old youthful songs. Card games, papers in bed, pottering in the garden.

Then our children would bring their families home to us. Big Christmases again, spoiling the grandchildren with love, food, presents, day trips. Christmas trees in every room, stockings for everyone hanging from the staircase.

Maybe one day!

Especially @lovetobeatpeace having all the cats you'd ever owned with you. That brought a tear to my eye.
I've had 5 cats in my life, four of them black and thinking of them all running around together is just gorgeous!

@HerRoyalHappiness

Honestly I'd settle for pain free and good mental health. Everything else is not that important to me But if I was pain free I'd be able to do more with my kids, I'd be able to walk without aids for the first time in years. I could sit on the floor and play barbies or push cars around the mat. And if I had good MH I wouldnt suffer psychosis so I wouldn't be told I'm worthless constantly or to kill myself. I'd be happy. Thats all I want from life. To be happy and pain free

I don't actually know how to respond to your post because everything I've written is based on me being hale, hearty and healthy and physically able to do the things I need to do in my (imaginary) peaceful rural cottage life and garden.

I suspect if I was suffering from physical or mental illness my rural idyll wouldn't be quite so idyllic.

I don't know what it's like to live with chronic physical pain. I've experienced pain of course and I've had my fair share of mental health issues but it's never been constant and relentless and I've been able to overcome both.

It's so humbling to read that your 'perfect life' is really just asking for you to be mentally and physically pain free.

x

What a gorgeous thread.
I'd keep my husband, children and dog 😂

We'd be financially free- own outright a beautiful Georgian property in a upmarket area of the town we already live in. Large, light rooms. Solid wood floors. Huge soft sofas. All decorated beautifully and with lots of colour.

My husband and I would work in similar fields to the ones we already do, but earn more.

More free time to relax and feel at peace.

Be able to afford to travel as a family- I fantasise about taking my children swimming in sparkling Greek seas, and going off adventuring on skiiing holidays (never skiid in my life!). Devon is lovely, but it's all the travel they've ever known 😂

I'd also be free of chronic pain and anxiety, so I could truly enjoy all the above!

I've just got about halfway through this thread, started blubbing and had to bookmark it to read later. It's actually made me have a bit of an epiphany. That my life as it is (rural cosy cottage, nice garden, dog, cat, daughter and chickens, not having to panic about money most of the time, mostly having good health) is close to perfect. I spend so much time worrying that I'm not good enough, that I should be trying harder, rushing from one thing to the next, beating myself up for not getting through my massive To Do list. I MUST learn to genuinely appreciate what I've got. I hope we all can move closer to our ideal lives, and thank you for starting this lovely thread, which I will be coming back to over and over I think.

I would be living in my house without my DH.
It would be decorated all white with turquoise/blue accents, like a Greek villa.
And I’d have 3 dogs.
I love my job so I’ll stick with it, and I’ve lost my desire to travel now, so I’m happy at home/ shopping/ walking my dogs.

When parenting and life gets long, hard and relentless I often have this day dream to keep me going.

I'd wake up one morning , Shirley Valentine style and fly to this beautiful fishing village in gran Canaria, I'd live alone in a one bed apartment above one of the coffee shops adorned with bougainvillea. The mornings I'd awake to the rustle of palm trees swaying gently in the breeze, the pit pit pat of my dogs feet on the cool tiles, the buzz of a fan. My dog and I would walk across across the quiet harbour, I'd be dressed in a big Cardi the early morning air is nippy first thing. We'd sit on the beach, watching the waves crash and frolic eating a breakfast made of fresh fruit and pastries. As the sun rises and the town begins to bustle with elderly folk with their walking sticks, children with spades and buckets and the sound of chairs screeching on patios i 'd meander to the tavern where I work as a waitress serving coffee, cakes and sharing bits of stories to all kinds if holiday makers young and old. Just as the heat of the day breaks and the sun dips slightly behind the mountains I'd walk back to my apartment for a cool shower. Then I'd spend the evening, blanket wrapped around me, warm dog on my feet, sketching on the verandah listening to the evening chatter of diners, crickets in the distance and the lap of calm waves.

I'd like to live in a small cottage with a quirky layout, not deep in the country but on the outskirts of a town. I'd spend my days reading and pursuing creative projects (for personal enjoyment, not commercially). The cottage would have low ceilings, exposed beams and stonework and I'd enjoy looking for antiques, oddities and artwork to display. The garden/outdoor area would face west and be very low-maintenance - a patio, probably, rather than a full-on garden. A small lean-to conservatory would be nice.

Nice big victorian house with original fireplaces by the sea with dh and ds (and family have also relocated so are nearby!). There would be a library room. A holiday home in Budapest. Enough money not to have to work so I have a nice part time job in a teashop frequented by locals who come for a cosy cuppa and a book read. I'd have lots of land and chickens, a goat or two and cats. Lots of wildlife around for me to watch and feed - we would have ducks visit our pond.
I would go for a beach walk and stand in the sea for a bit every day. Otherwise I would bake and craft and read. I'd have a hammock in the garden to fall asleep in in the summer. And there'd be very little light pollution so I can watch the stars and planets with my telescope.

I'd be a writer, like every other MNer.
My eco-home would be very White Company... the scents, the plush bathrobes, the plush, overpriced, crisp, clean, warm everything about a White Company store. My own actual home is still stuck in the 90s! It hasn't seen a facelift since '96. I've said it before on MN but honestly, when you pull out the kitchen drawers, you'll either hear Blur tunes or the Gallagher brothers fighting. It's truly, deeply '90s.
DD and I stand around in our local White Company store just to pretend we live there and to 'get ideas' for a home I'll never have. It's all really pathetic and silly.
Anyway... back to fake house: Outside, the earth would be carpetted with brown pine needles fallen from the forest trees surrounding me. The scent of tree sap would permeate the crisp air. I think I'd live in Minnesota or Michigan, or somewhere woodsy in Poland... maybe near my dad's hometown at the foot of the Sudetes.

I have another life in Lagos, Nigeria where I'm married to my daughter's therapist (all really messed up, I know!), one in Cambodia where I wander Angkor Wat at sunrise, and then there's my ramshackle cabin filled with vodka and cured meat nesting on an icy shorline of Lake Baikal. I live in fur coats and holey woolen jumpers and have a lot of dogs and cats (in every fantasy). I look very haggard in that last one. It's got 'tough life' written all over it.

But here I am in fancy pants West London, in my '90s decor house with the plaster peeling from the walls and the years of footfall and unmoved furniture marking the floors and tearing up the carpet.