Page 3 | How would you interpret this comment from a neighbour?

sadpapercourtesan · 2022-01-13T12:10:39+00:00

Invited for drinks by new neighbours. They're from South Africa, very cordial and friendly. There's a discussion (with other guests, also from SA) about how difficult things are in SA post-apartheid. Neighbour comments: "I'm not racist; I love white people" and people laugh. What would you make of that?

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 13/01/2022 13:13

I would assume they were trying to make a sarcastic point. Using a stupid but common term used by some white people "I'm not racist I love/have black friends"

Like the person who shouts All lives matter after hearing Black lives matter.

LondonMummer · 13/01/2022 13:18

@HopeYourHighHorseBucks

I would assume they were trying to make a sarcastic point. Using a stupid but common term used by some white people "I'm not racist I love/have black friends"

Like the person who shouts All lives matter after hearing Black lives matter.

Exactly this. I have family from SA but I don't even think that's relevant here. They are essentially turning a trope on its head. If anything trying to be a bit meta and anti racist by implying their primary allegiance is with non wights. Personally I wouldn't rush to label them as racist.

Zilla1 · 13/01/2022 13:21

On its own, I wouldn't interpret it much given the wide range of possibilities from Broderbund to ironic awareness of perception of white saffers. See how they treat people and perhaps think how every single statement you make might stand up to parsing.

ThePlantsitter · 13/01/2022 13:23

@gsaoej is right - falling out with your neighbours is unbelievably shit.

ItsDinah · 13/01/2022 13:33

Have you never heard the old line "i'm not racist,some of my best friends are black" ...as uttered by people who have no awareness of their racism? How many of your neighbours are black? Any white/white passing with a South African accent in the UK is likely to experience a fair amount of hostility simply on the grounds of that accent. I wonder if he was having a dig at those things.

Triffid1 · 13/01/2022 13:51

I am a white South African. That was a racist joke and you were absolutely 100% right to feel uncomfortable. It is a reference to the way whites are supposedly suffering in South Africa now (and they're in the minority there).

It's complete bollocks and I'm afraid that I have been involved in some awkward situations because I always always challenge white South Africans who say things like that. And then usually get a reputation for being "humourless" and "terribly PC" and all the rest of it. But, I don't care that much because South Africans like that are not people I want to be friends with.

Eustonhalf · 13/01/2022 13:55

White South Africans often have a victim mentality like you wouldn't believe. They perceive themselves as penalised for being white and a minority at that. They often believe they're a victim of racism.

This comment doesn't remotely surprise me.

I have lost count of the number of times I've heard a white person explain the problems with the work ethic of people living in the townships while their black cleaner hangs up their washing/scrubs the kitchen etc. It is a remarkable double think.

That said, I do feel sorry for those who are unable to access their chosen university course just because the allocation for white students is non existent.

Triffid1 · 13/01/2022 14:04

That said, I do feel sorry for those who are unable to access their chosen university course just because the allocation for white students is non existent.

I am not close enough to the situation in South Africa anymore to know the specifics of this, but the reality is that white south africans represent about 10% of the population. So, theoretically, this means about 10% of the university places. This is a huge difference vs the 90% of places going to university when I did, in the 90s.... So I get how frustrating it is, but not entirely sure that they really have anything to complain about. [and yes, I'm sure they'll tell you their white children get better marks than many of the other students etc etc, but like any system that has inbuilt privilege for years and years, it will take time to fix]

Triffid1 · 13/01/2022 14:05

90% of university places going to white students when I was at university is what I meant.

eagerlywaitingfor · 13/01/2022 14:22

I know some people from SA. One of them left there and came to the UK after her car was held up at gunpoint, she was thrown out and the car was hijacked with her baby in the back. Fortunately they did get reunited when the vehicle was abandoned. It was the last straw. The others, a couple, were given a fortnight to leave their home and business, or - well - they were basically told their property would be seized and their lives were at risk, so get out now. They grabbed what they could and left.

So before you pass any judgement on them, it might be worth finding out their circumstances and why they left first.

Triffid1 · 13/01/2022 14:55

@eagerlywaitingfor

I know some people from SA. One of them left there and came to the UK after her car was held up at gunpoint, she was thrown out and the car was hijacked with her baby in the back. Fortunately they did get reunited when the vehicle was abandoned. It was the last straw. The others, a couple, were given a fortnight to leave their home and business, or - well - they were basically told their property would be seized and their lives were at risk, so get out now. They grabbed what they could and left.

So before you pass any judgement on them, it might be worth finding out their circumstances and why they left first.

The problem with this is that it seems to suggest it's okay to be racist if you've been hurt by a black person? That makes absolutely no sense. How does that work in countries that also have terrible crime like Venezuela or Brazil?

If a white south african in England is unhappy about South Africa, negative about their experience etc, fair enough, of course. But racist jokes are racist jokes and are always not okay.

Branleuse · 13/01/2022 15:00

Some places its perfectly socially acceptable to be openly racist. My experience is that SA is one of those places unfortunately. Apartheid was so recent.

CatSpeakForDummies · 13/01/2022 16:37

I think it's a twist on the "I'm not racist.... something positive about black people" statement that is recognised as racist.
People laugh as they are relieved it's not that.

Triffid1 · 13/01/2022 16:47

@Branleuse

Some places its perfectly socially acceptable to be openly racist. My experience is that SA is one of those places unfortunately. Apartheid was so recent.

Well, not in any of the South African circles I move in. But yes, within some groups it is. And there is no doubt that racist south africans have an astonishing ability to believe that EVERYONE would feel the same way as them.

I had a very upsetting experience as a teenager in a bank where a white, middle aged woman who worked there attempted to get me, a 19 year old, to collude with her to be dismissive and rude to an elderly black man. It was awful. I was too young and lacking confidence to say anything, but as someone who'd been brought up to be respectful of old people no matter what, it was horrible. It doesn't sound like a big deal but it was such a clarifying moment for me. Unfortunately, that attitude still lurks at times.

Eustonhalf · 13/01/2022 18:41

Triffid

Yes I'm in agreement. In the big picture they don't have anything to complain about. This doesn't make me feel a little compassion for the kid who can't be a doctor (at least not through a direct route) because the colour of their skin is not right. They have no other home country.

But my sympathies are of course overwhelmingly with the real victims.