Old house owners being a pain

[Moaningturtle]

We completed on our house in mid November. It started in the day of completion when she was still in the house 3 hours after completing moving stuff out, and then left a load of stuff in the garden to come and collect another time. It was annoying, especially as the clutter in the garden made our moving in harder, but it we were accommodating and polite.

Then the packages started arriving all the way up to Xmas, including a few which we missed delivery of that weren’t named so we had to go to the collection office to get packages that turned out were not for us! This got a bit more annoying. Then her partner (who wasn’t even joint owner) messaged me informing me that UPS will be delivering a very important package that day and could I make sure I sign for it!! On that occasion I told him no, I was sleeping and can’t get up to answer deliveries (I work nights). It happened to come while I was awake though so I dutifully took it to a requested neighbours house.

Then he messaged me asking me to contact Virgin Media and take over his contract!! I said no thank you very much, we have our own broadband sorted. He seemed a bit miffed as I assume he now has to pay for the remainder of the contract.

All a bit annoying but we put up with it. But the latest instalment is that we’ve had Virgin media knocking on our door demanding we give back their equipment. Now, they did leave a router plugged into the wall which I assumed they didn’t want as why would they leave it in a house they had sold? So I put it straight in the garage….I think? It’s possible it went to the recycling centre with other electronics we were getting rid of. If it is in the garage it’s way way way back there behind all the stuff we haven’t yet unpacked/general garage crap. And now the previous owner is WhatsApp-ing me about finding it for her as I assume she’ll be charged.

I know it all seems like small stuff and I should probably just do it, but I work at night then sleep for 4 hours before picking the kids up from school and the whole clubs/dinner/homework/bath time/ bed time routine. Then I’m back at work!

At what point can I stop being obliging and just block them from my phone? Or am I being petty here?!

Why would anyone say it’s small stuff and you should just do it?
No longer at address, return to sender from now on.

@Tabbydancer

Ps I would ask the EA to send them a brief message explaining that yin are under no moral or legal obligation to help out and you will be returning to sender or redirecting all post

not sure it's anything to do with the EA - their duties ended when the house was sold.

FWIW I think they will make a fuss over this Virgin thing. Is there anyway you can dig it out and then tell them your leaving it on the front porch/by the door and they can come collect and deal with it? They will make a fuss and possibly cost you a lot more time on that. I'd also add, hereafter I don't expect to have any further communications with you. We won't be signing for any parcels, post etc. And on the basis I am taking the time to find and leave the Virgin equipment for you, please confirm that you will adhere to this.

@LondonSouth28

FWIW I think they will make a fuss over this Virgin thing. Is there anyway you can dig it out and then tell them your leaving it on the front porch/by the door and they can come collect and deal with it? They will make a fuss and possibly cost you a lot more time on that. I'd also add, hereafter I don't expect to have any further communications with you. We won't be signing for any parcels, post etc. And on the basis I am taking the time to find and leave the Virgin equipment for you, please confirm that you will adhere to this.

They can’t make a fuss if they are blocked.

If they come round just say it was binned. There is nothing they can do.

They sound like prize idiots who are wasting your time.

Why should she though? @LondonSouth28
None of this is OPs responsibility or issue, she has been extremely tolerant but the old owners are taking extreme advantage and it takes the piss.

They are fully responsible for their belongings/ ending contracts and providing companies with their equipment back and their post.

Op doesn’t have to do anything.

@Moaningturtle

I don’t know why I feel the need to always be nice and helpful, especially at my own detriment for complete strangers.

I’m 40 years old now and need to learn to say no. Is there some sort of assertiveness course I can go on?!

www.amazon.co.uk/Woman-Your-Own-Right-Assertiveness/dp/0704334208?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

i would tell them you chucked everything that was left inc the box as it wasnt yours it was techniquelly rubbish.

Curious as to who messaged you to put Virgin stuff in a bag? Surely not Virgin? They never seem to want old stuff.

@Staryflight445 and @MeridianB - I know and you're both right, I just guess they will come around and make a massive fuss which I would find worse than just finding the (bloody!) Virgin thing! Given how cheeky they are they won't let this Virgin thing go and it will take up even more time trying to keep deflecting them is my guess.

Mu ex left me with a shite load of debt he racked up in his name a few months later his mum rang looking for the virgin media box I honestly said I had no clue they tried to tell me that because my card had been used to pay the bill my card would be debited for the "debt" virgin media said that was untrue as the debt was his not mine and I could relax and let him pay for it

I threw it down the chute after he refused to pay the phone bill he racked up ringing another woman because he was cheating on me I didn't lie to his mother I genuinely didn't know where it was 🤣

Don't worry about...the menopause will hit in a few years time and the you'll take absolutely no shit from anybody

Isn’t that the absolute truth

OP why are you storing their stuff in your garage? I’d offer them a date (that suits you, they can take it or leave it) to come and get every last bit of their shit, the day after it all goes to the tip. Enough is enough. You can’t reason with CF.

When you buy a house unless something is specified as going with the vendors, it becomes the new owners as far as I know. It's like someone coming back after month and asking for a washing machine the y had left behind.

@Moaningturtle

Is there anyway that virgin can come after me for the equipment, as technically I do possibly have it, somewhere?!

Not a chance. Not your responsibility. Deny all knowledge of anything.

The people we bought our house from came back every weekend for the first 4 we were in with different “helpful” reasons. I was pregnant and unable to lift anything at all and my husband was still working the other end of the country so we had Sat/Sun to get everything done. Utterly awful. They stayed for HOURS each time.

I would message saying - it's been three months, you are no longer doing any admin for them, you haven't seen anything they have left behind, and you don't want to be contacted again.
And block.

Sorry but how do they even have your number? We've never swapped numbers with people we've bought/sold with

Honestly, I'd block them now and ignore any parcels that aren't for you. If you get caught out e.g. answer the door for a parcel that's not for you, say, "that person doesn't live here. Return to sender." Once you do that, they'll stop sending it to your address. That virgin media equipment is not your responsibility. Just tell virgin, you don't know what they're talking about, and to stop bothering you about it.

No. You may not have it. They abandoned it by forgetting it. It's not your responsibility or job.

@Moaningturtle

I don’t know why I feel the need to always be nice and helpful, especially at my own detriment for complete strangers.

I’m 40 years old now and need to learn to say no. Is there some sort of assertiveness course I can go on?!

The CFs/pig ignorant take us by surprise sometimes, op so stop blaming yourself. The majority of folks are lovely people just like you, op so don't go changing. Like a lot of us you just need to pop on MN occasionally for a quick lesson on how to tell arseholes, fuck off.

Just block!
It seems to be really common these days for sellers and vendors to exchange emails and phone numbers- I haven’t bought a house in years but it always used to be frowned on and I can see why!

Why are you even engaging with these people? You are not their parcel service and you are not responsible for sorting out their broadband package that they should’ve cancelled and sorted months ago.
Don’t look for the router, as someone else above said “not your circus, not your monkeys”. They will have to deal with virgin and pay the fine. I certainly wouldn’t be discussing with Virgin at all, you have no contract with them.
Don’t take in any packages and put up a sign so that none get left when you are out. It all sounds very dodgy what they are doing anyway.
Cheeky fuckers like this need to learn.

block & ignore from now on.

their circus - their monkeys

you can be nice without being a pushover

My experience is that they will continue to use you as long as you continue to do this stuff for them. I dutifully forwarded stuff when our previous owners didn't bother with mail forwarding. So much crap was arriving and after 18 months, some contact lenses arrived and I saw red. I returned that to sender and that must have caused quite a lot of bother for them because after that it stopped.

When you complete on a property you take ownership with vacant possession, "Vacant possession essentially means three things. At the point of sale...

The property must be free of people - whether they be the owners, tenants or squatters - with the new owners, legally and physically, able to move in.
The property must be free of chattels - such as furniture, personal items and yes, rubbish or items to throw away, too. Chattels are distinct from fixtures, although sometimes that distinction can be blurred. What remains in the home, needs to be pre-agreed and negotiated.
The new owner must have undisturbed enjoyment of the property - which means, to give one example, that it is not acceptable for the old owner to keep coming to the property to pick more personal items up after the sale has gone through. And to give another, more extreme, example, a property can not be considered to have been sold with vacant possession if there is a legal obstacle to the enjoyment of that property, such as an already-existing compulsory purchase order, from a local authority."

You've been more than accommodating. Send one final message telling them to leave you alone and block them.

@Moaningturtle I hope I don’t offend you with this comment, but I thought i’d add how I dealt with being ‘too nice’ - I realised when I was telling myself I was ‘too nice’ and that was getting me walked over, if I swapped it to saying ‘too weak to assert my boundaries’ it took away this little conditioning voice that told me it’s a good thing to be ‘nice’, especially as a woman.

Not saying you need to turn into an arsehole, but once I realised that part of me liked to conform to the pressure to ‘be nice’ and I switched it to a negative ‘weak-ass boundaries’ - it really switched my thinking up and helped me become much more assertive.

Now i’m no longer a people pleaser unless it’s people i’m really invested in pleasing! Everyone else gets basic respect and courtesy and shown the door if they try to take the piss.