Kids and toilets opinions please

[lucillelarusso]

I'm really interested in opinions to gauge my own against....

If your child was away from home and made a mess of the toilet would you expect them to be discretely taken back to tidy up or the adult responsible for them to do it?

Had an accident or deliberately trashed a bathroom?

Yes. If you've made a mess in the bathroom regardless of where you are.. you'd clean it, surely?

Could be accident or intentional
Boy peeing all over the seat type mess

Child peeing on seat, in fact, both can be as guilty!

How old is this child? 4, I’d expect the adult to help them, 14 and I’d expect them to do it themselves

6-12 age group

That's too big of a range to tell.

Surely it depends how old the child is?

I took my nieces (5 and 3) to the toilet on holiday, after they'd finished I made sure their cubicle was clean. Picked up the tissue they'd dropped and wiped the seat. I'm not sure which one made the mess, most likely the 3 year old.

If it had been my nephew (8) or my teens I'd expect them to go back and clean it up.

I'd expect them to go back and clean it up. At the younger end of that age range I might supervise/help.

6 to 12 is a big age range. 6 year old I would accompany them and make sure they did it properly and washed their hands afterwards. From about 8 up I would tell them to do it and probably give them a bit of a talking to about how to behave.

As you’ve said they were discreetly taken upstairs I’m assuming that you’ve done this to a nephew/friend of your child’s and someone has criticised you for it?

As a one off (if it was someone who didn’t come over very often, like a school friend) then I’d deal with it so I didn’t upset them/incur the wrath of an angry parent. If it was a child who came over a lot and it was a regular occurrence then I would expect them to, within reason, clean up after themselves.

I’d expect the adult to discreetly sort it out - I wouldn’t want to embarrass the child if they were at someone’s house etc.

It's a childcare setting, sort of, the children who attend are there without parents. It's more of a point of principle debate between myself and a few other mums.

Mixed views here as well :)

When you say "childcare setting", what do you mean? That is a pretty large umbrella term.

6-12 is also a very large age range for the same expectations to be applied

6 year old - no. Especially not by a stranger.

12 year old - still no. They should know better, but for a stranger to pull them up on it would be mortifying. I'd expect the person who's house it is to judge silently and not invite them back.
Family member - could pull them up on it, friends parent shouldn't be.

But 6 is completely different to 12.
Grandparent is different to friend's parent.
A one off incident is different to doing it all the time in one place.
Still too many variables.

A 12 year old in a new place, may not know where the cleaning supplies are and may slink off in shame if they accidentally make a mess, rather than asking for help.
A 6 year old shouldn't be having unsupervised access to toilet cleaning chemicals.

So is it a boarding school?

It’s a difficult one as someone (child or parent) may take offence at their toilet cleanliness being pulled up on.

As a one off I’d probably let it slide for under 10’s but over that age, or regular offenders, should be spoken to very tactfully.

Having said that I have looked after my friend’s DD(7) many times, including three times overnight, and her toilet habits are awful. Go on the toilet after her and you will discover that she never flushes, wipes herself for either wee or poo as she doesn’t use toilet paper, and wees on the seat without fail. Also washes her hands so fast the water barely touches her. Every single time. Including when I have taken her to a public toilet and have checked the cubicle after she has used it. Friend keeps a very clean house so I have no idea how this doesn’t follow though to her DD’s toileting.

My DS(6) has had good toilet cleanliness habits instilled into him and rarely slips up.

The replies are mixed because you've been so vague in your posts OP.

A 12 year old in a new place, may not know where the cleaning supplies are and may slink off in shame if they accidentally make a mess, rather than asking for help. A 6 year old shouldn't be having unsupervised access to toilet cleaning chemicals.

Surely most toilet ‘messes’ can just be sorted out with a wad of toilet paper and then hands washed afterwards? I wouldn’t expect any child to properly clean the toilet but I’d hope they’d have the initiative to wipe their own wee off the toilet seat!

I agree there are too many variables though.

You need to give us the details and then you’ll get more specific replies!

Is it a childminder?

Just tell us the actual situation and people will be able to answer. It's far too vague.

You need to give the actual situation.

A 12 year old at a mate's house who pees on the seat should absolutely be called through and asked to clean it up (not asked infront of his friends).

A 6 year old at a childminder should be reminded about lifting the seat and wiping any mess but not sent back in to do it.

Ages in between vary, but from about 8, they should be quietly called back in and asked to please wipe the seat.

Also, can people please not share stories of their children or their children's friend's toilets habits.