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Original poster

Family - sneaky sister

39 replies

Silia · 10/01/2022 23:34

Not sure if I am unreasonable.
I have just found out my sister bought a house and knew nothing of it.
2 months ago I purchased my first house which needed work and I have builders presently there working. I received a phone call from my builder informing me that he has a meeting with my sister from some work she has for him. Since the meeting was taking place I my house where builders are I decided to go there. I was surprised to hear my sister talking about work she needs doing at her new house. I had no idea she bought a second house. I feel like if my builder did not call me I would have never known. I had no idea she took my builder's number last time she came to visit the work been done. Is it okay to feel annoyed about her behaviour? Should I confront her?

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 10/01/2022 23:45

Are you annoyed because she arranged a meeting with your builder at your home, while he was supposed to be working for you?

Or are you annoyed at something that has sod all to do with you? Because if it’s the latter, then perhaps your belief that you have something to ‘confront her’ about is the reason she chose not to tell you.

negomi90 · 10/01/2022 23:48

I'm not sure what she did that was so awful. She brought a house without telling you, which could have been mean or could have been that you don't talk often enough or that she didn't want to make you feel bad about the fact she was getting house 2 when you were getting house 1.
The builder she could have got from anywhere. She's not stealing him and its a weird thing for you to be worried about. If he does prioritise her over you, it says more about the builder's professionalism than her. I'd use a tradesman working for someone I knew, I'd assume that the tradesman wouldn't suddenly stop work on my friend's thing to do mine, and would do mine after.

PurpleMauve · 10/01/2022 23:50

It’s not really any of your business. It’s odd that your own Sister didn’t tell you, but I’m guessing she has a valid reason/s for not telling you if this is your line of thinking.

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Families
Havilland · 10/01/2022 23:53

Where were you lurking when you overheard your sister but she couldn’t see you?

That in itself is odd.

PinchOfVom · 10/01/2022 23:57

I’m planning on buying a holiday home and won’t be telling anybody - especially not my sister!!

Original poster
Silia · 10/01/2022 23:59

I am not concerned about her not telling me about the house, I just found it odd that if my builder did not call me to inform me of their meeting at my house and if I did not go my house I would have never known about all this.
I speak with my sister almost everyday. She is older than me by 9 years.

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Original poster
Silia · 11/01/2022 00:01

I was upstairs checking the work my builders were doing when I overheard her talking about her new house.
I am ot annoyed about her buying a house and not telling me.

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madisonbridges · 11/01/2022 00:03

So you're not bothered about her going to your house or talking yo the builder or ultimately using the builder. Nothing to do with the builder. In fact the builder is a red herring.

You're bothered that you talk every day and she didn't tell you she'd bought a second house. What reason did she give for not telling you?

Havilland · 11/01/2022 00:06

Does she know that she was overheard by you?

Have you spoken since and has she now mentioned it?

Original poster
Silia · 11/01/2022 00:10

The builders are great can't fault them. And I told my sister about them. I know whole house process can be stressful and don't have to tell everyone but at least when you already completed everything it would have been nice to hear it from her instead of the way I found out

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Keepitonthedownlow · 11/01/2022 00:15

Have you asked her why she didn't mention the house purchase?

madisonbridges · 11/01/2022 00:15

Yes but what reason did she give you for not telling you earlier?

Original poster
Silia · 11/01/2022 00:15

I came downstairs because I heard them talking about renovation. I was shocked had no words to say. I just kept quiet

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Original poster
Silia · 11/01/2022 00:17

I am yet to ask her

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madisonbridges · 11/01/2022 00:18

Really? I love my sister. Message each other several times a day. See each other a lot. If she bought a house without telling me, I'd have fallen down the stairs to get to her to demand an explanation as to why she hadn't told me. Followed immediately by a car journey to see said house.

Original poster
Silia · 11/01/2022 00:19

I am not sure if I should asked her or just go on with my business

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madisonbridges · 11/01/2022 00:20

I'd be hurt she hadn't told me. Are you not good friends if you speak every day?

RhubarbFairy · 11/01/2022 00:20

Just... ask her. Surely this hand wringing about being excluded is for teenagers?

irene9 · 11/01/2022 00:20

Maybe you've picked up what you heard wrong? Maybe it's her current house they are talking about.

Original poster
Silia · 11/01/2022 00:22

Not sure how to start, she has a way of talking rashly to me and my other sister and brother and has cut them off of her life when they tried to confront her about her behaviour.

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Original poster
Silia · 11/01/2022 00:23

Definitely not her old house since it is new build

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madisonbridges · 11/01/2022 00:24

This is how you start...
Hi Siliasister. Have you bought a new house?

SD1978 · 11/01/2022 00:25

You weren't just 'accidentally' there reviewing the work that had been done though- you deliberately attended to catch your sister out- you say as much in your first post. Maybe she is concerned that you may have an issue with them buying a second property? If it's a rental, maybe she juts didn't see it as important to bring up, or was concerned it would sound like bragging to you? She's clearly not hiding it completely if she's using your builder. Just not talking about it to you for some reason. Instead of lurking upstairs in your own home, ask her?

Original poster
Silia · 11/01/2022 00:29

I did not accidentally go there. I went there on purpose because it is my house and I have every right to.
If anyone is having a meeting at your house regardless of who it is would you not go there?
I was curious as to why she will go to my house when iam not around at 8.30 pm to speak with my builders

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Original poster
Silia · 11/01/2022 00:30

I am not currently living there , the house is in repairs and waiting for work to be completed before moving in.

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