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Original poster

My neighbour recorded us during a dinner party

47 replies

MaternityNurse007 · 10/01/2022 19:42

I am 100% that our elderly neighbours recorded us during a dinner party. We are friendly but not good friends ( moved here a few years ago), don't know them too well and they invited a few other neighbours around for this dinner. Noone said anything and out of shock and respect we didn't say anything....
His phone was turned on,camera faced and placed outwards and placed around the rooms we used ( kitchen- diner and living). It was pretty obvious, first when i noticed i though i might be wrong but when his phone was placed in different rooms before we entered it was more than obvious. At the dinner table it was half way out of his front top pocket, again camera facing towards us, i am more than 100% he was recording. He is a bit of an old geek and has cctvs outside all over and showed us his ,,recording" room with multiple tv system...
Before i knew this , i have told them that we must invite them over for dinner too and show them our house we just finished renovating. But it was before we went over, i no longer feel comfortable or want them to come and record us in our own home. What would you do?
There is no way i want/can bring this up with them, they have been living on our street way before us and know everyone....

OP posts:
woulducouldushouldu · 10/01/2022 19:45

I would ask him. And tell him that he recorded you without your consent and should delete it.

Personally I would be livid and never let him over my threshold again

Havilland · 10/01/2022 19:51

How utterly ridiculous that you or anyone else didn’t say anything at the time!

Havilland · 10/01/2022 19:53

Out of shock and respect?!

What other things do you allow other people to do in your home?

Molest the dog? Helping themselves to the silver? ......

cushioncovers · 10/01/2022 19:59

Why didn't you say something at the table ?

greenlynx · 10/01/2022 20:04

Have you been to the bathroom ? Do you think he’s got camera there as well?

HeddaGarbled · 10/01/2022 20:05

Invite them round but don’t let him record the visit, if he tries. It’s odd behaviour, but it’s also odd not to have said something at the time. I bet his poor wife is as mortified as all get out. Don’t punish her because her husband’s eccentric.

Cattitudes · 10/01/2022 20:19

@HeddaGarbled

Invite them round but don’t let him record the visit, if he tries. It’s odd behaviour, but it’s also odd not to have said something at the time. I bet his poor wife is as mortified as all get out. Don’t punish her because her husband’s eccentric.
Yes don't forget to tell them you have a leave the phone at the door rule for dinner parties so you can all fully concentrate on the conversation, but as they only live next door they might just leave it at home.
Original poster
MaternityNurse007 · 10/01/2022 20:41

Hah i love the idea of the leave the phone at the phone rule.
But to be honest i would just skip it and never invite them back.

I didn't say anything as noone else did and the other guests were much older and good friends with them, so they might or might not noticed. I am a very vigilant person, used to cameras and CCTVs and took me 2 sec to figure out this....

I didn't tell them out of respect as we wasn't nacked ( talked about non important things), we were in their home, they are much older, and he woud probably just lie about it if asked anyway, with all his friends around him. Plus he is really good friends with the others, we were basically the new guys on the block and would of ended up as public enemy number 1. They are nosey people with lot of influence and high profile jobs, involved in local politic...

They want to come across as ,,nice" people but they are not.

I would not punish the wife, but i do think she knows as he even asked her to take his phone to one of the room before we went there ( i overheard...)

Dog abuse comment.... seriously?

OP posts:
Original poster
MaternityNurse007 · 10/01/2022 20:45

I haven't been to the bathroom as my first though was that if he is ,,sick" that would be the cherry on the cake thing....

And the worst thing is, i just found out that they do organise parties for neighbours regularly in the past 20 years .... they freak me out so much, just going to ignore them as much as i can

OP posts:
Walking4You · 10/01/2022 20:52

I think you have your answer.

Don’t invite them back.
If you are invited again, don’t go.
Ignore and keep a very safe (polite) distance from them.
There isn’t a lot you can do about the recording just now. But you can avoid any other recording to happen.

Btw you mention cctv etc… is it possible for his cctv to cover your house/entrance?

Original poster
MaternityNurse007 · 10/01/2022 20:57

Thanks Walking4you.
There CCTV ,,ofcourse" overlooking the road and pavement and other public areas around their house, but luckily we are a bit further, so they can't ,,monitor" us.

OP posts:
EishetChayil · 10/01/2022 21:05

Maybe he's a vlogger.

Walking4You · 10/01/2022 21:18

@MaternityNurse007

Thanks Walking4you. There CCTV ,,ofcourse" overlooking the road and pavement and other public areas around their house, but luckily we are a bit further, so they can't ,,monitor" us.
The thing is, that is illegal….
IWentAwayIStayedAway · 10/01/2022 21:18

Are you confident he didn't leave any cameras behind? That is not normal behaviour

Suzi888 · 10/01/2022 21:21

Just don’t invite again. You have no concrete evidence.

Original poster
MaternityNurse007 · 10/01/2022 21:38

I would not invite them back, we were at their house , they invited us on this one and first occasion. we moved to the area not long ago, so they decided to invite us for dinner with some other neighbours we haven't met before, to introduce us... so the whole situation about the recording was so unreal ...

I know the CCTV overlooking public area is illegal, i have made a jockey comment on it to him in the past, i am 100% he is aware of the illegallality of it, other neighbours knows as they are not hidden at all and very visible cameras.... the neighbours just don't care about these things it seems...

OP posts:
MamaGaia · 10/01/2022 22:05

Is it at all possible that he was recording simply for social reasons, ie it was a nice gathering so he wanted to make a memory of it?

Some of my mum’s friends do this when they come round - they record everyone, the food, etc and it’s for purely innocent reasons.

Original poster
MaternityNurse007 · 10/01/2022 22:31

MamaGaia, no , if it was the case he would of told us during/ before or should of shared his recordings with the guests i think.... ? and he was ,,hiding it" but not so well. Just weird, he seems to be a bit obsessed with his CCTVs too 😳

OP posts:
Original poster
MaternityNurse007 · 10/01/2022 22:37

But i get what you mean, friends are different, we do record during family / friends gatherings sometimes but we do hold phones out to do so or place the phone in the middle of table etc so it is obvious and spoken about and would not record those without consent who we don't know.... especially not neighbours.... i think they are just weard.

OP posts:
Original poster
MaternityNurse007 · 10/01/2022 22:38

,,Weird"

OP posts:
Mollypolly2610 · 10/01/2022 22:50

Had a huge party overseas. Next door neighbor was a policeman. British.

Was amazed when he brought through a recording of our party for us to look at. Just didn’t know what to say. Awkward.

Welldarn · 10/01/2022 22:58

It seems a bit strange that a neighbour with a room full of CCTV equipment, wouldn’t have hidden cameras to record you in his own home, rather than the really obvious phone?

LonginesPrime · 10/01/2022 23:15

Was it definitely a normal phone and not a radio receiver linked to a hearing aid?

Have you checked out whether he's on social media and, if so, what he shares there?

Original poster
MaternityNurse007 · 10/01/2022 23:19

Wow don't know what to say re the ex policeman's recording you....

His equipments were recording the outside (we have been told this....), have not seen the ,,hidden" cameras inside , he might has a few but probably doesn't record sound? This is so surreal, recording via mobile phone and trying to hide it is so childish from a 70' years old....we just joke about it now, but i think it is super weird ...

OP posts:
theNumbersStation · 10/01/2022 23:19

Nope. I wouldn’t be entertaining that.

Or be entertained by them.

Or entertain them.

Pure weird.