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Original poster

Advice on breaking news to prickly neighbour

32 replies

Cameron2012 · 10/01/2022 16:27

I have lived in my house for about thirty years and have a good relationship with my neighbour.
She has always insisted that the boundary between our houses is hers, I have the deeds to my house and it’s mine.Its never been an issue she has had a fence up since before I moved here and when the panels have had to be replaced we have offered to pay and she has always said no.
She has a four ft fence up and we have flats that are able to overlook our garden,it has always irked me but now we have a conservatory it is more of an issue and I want to put in a five or six foot fence.
I have tried shielding with bamboo and a trellis but they just don’t work.
If you are still here Thankyou 😀
I don’t want to upset her and am willing to fit a fence next to hers, but then she will have two ft of fence sticking over the top, or pay for hers to be removed and made good.
But as I said she is going to be offended and I don’t know how to limit the damage.
I really want to keep a good relationship with her but I also want some privacy.
Advice on how to approach this would really be appreciated.

OP posts:
Billandben444 · 10/01/2022 16:35

I'd just give it to her straight and give her your reasons. Tell her you're happy to put an extra fence on your side (but you will lose a bit of garden doing this and reinforce her belief that it's her responsibility!) or replace hers - which would she prefer? Plain speaking so there's no misunderstanding.

trumpisagit · 10/01/2022 16:37

Trellis at the top of the fence?

Original poster
Cameron2012 · 10/01/2022 16:53

@trumpisagit

Trellis at the top of the fence?
That’s a no I’m afraid. I asked to paint it to match the rest of the fences in my garden once, it was a straight no, there is no touching her fence.
OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 10/01/2022 17:02

@Billandben444

I'd just give it to her straight and give her your reasons. Tell her you're happy to put an extra fence on your side (but you will lose a bit of garden doing this and reinforce her belief that it's her responsibility!) or replace hers - which would she prefer? Plain speaking so there's no misunderstanding.
This.

100% this.

And then put what you've agreed in writing and give her a copy of what was verbally agreed.

Leave her no wiggle room whatsoever.

DisforDarkChocolate · 10/01/2022 17:05

I thought that once she built a fence it was then hers to maintain. Also, if you build a new fence inside the boundary you are, in effect, making your garden smaller by giving them some land.

I'd get some legal advice before I did anything.

Original poster
Cameron2012 · 10/01/2022 17:34

@DisforDarkChocolate

I thought that once she built a fence it was then hers to maintain. Also, if you build a new fence inside the boundary you are, in effect, making your garden smaller by giving them some land.

I'd get some legal advice before I did anything.

She does maintain it, but we have always offered to pay for panels, she has always refused. Ironically we maintain the other fences in our garden as well, our other neighbours are lovely as well but havnt got much money so we put the fence up, there was never any issue with this, they were just glad to have a fence 😀
OP posts:
Profiterolla · 10/01/2022 17:39

Giving her the choice of having the fence replaced or an additional one going up on your side (thereby losing a strip of your garden when you don't have to) is extremely generous.

The way you've explained it above is polite and to the point - you make it clear you're not looking for a boundary dispute, but a 6-foot fence will be going up and it can either replace the current one or be visible over the top.

Even if it was her boundary, you are still entitled to put up your own fence on your side.

CheshireKitten123 · 10/01/2022 17:40

@DisforDarkChocolate

I thought that once she built a fence it was then hers to maintain. Also, if you build a new fence inside the boundary you are, in effect, making your garden smaller by giving them some land.

I'd get some legal advice before I did anything.

This ^
maddy68 · 10/01/2022 17:46

Really nicely, maybe write her a letter with the picture of the boundary being yours on it.

Say you have wanted to raise the height of the fence for added privacy
Say you have appreciated that she has maintained the fence despite your offers to pay and for that you thank her very much. So now it is time for us to repay the favour.

We wish to replace the fence with a higher one. And obviously we do not expect any money for this.

When we replace it would you like us to give you the removed fencing (perhaps you could sell it to recoup some costs?) Or would you like us to dispose of it

Please take your time to consider which you would prefer as we don't intend to replace the fencing until X date

Original poster
Cameron2012 · 10/01/2022 17:52

@maddy68

Really nicely, maybe write her a letter with the picture of the boundary being yours on it.

Say you have wanted to raise the height of the fence for added privacy
Say you have appreciated that she has maintained the fence despite your offers to pay and for that you thank her very much. So now it is time for us to repay the favour.

We wish to replace the fence with a higher one. And obviously we do not expect any money for this.

When we replace it would you like us to give you the removed fencing (perhaps you could sell it to recoup some costs?) Or would you like us to dispose of it

Please take your time to consider which you would prefer as we don't intend to replace the fencing until X date

Perfect
OP posts:
GinGenie · 10/01/2022 17:54

She didn't hesitate to be blunt and say no to you painting the trellis so I dont think you should worry too much about being blunt and putting up a fence of your own.

TheHoptimist · 10/01/2022 17:58

Have you looked at her deeds as well as yours?
Fences often show as belonging to more than 1 house- not always as straight forward as it seems

Somebodylikeyew · 10/01/2022 18:01

Just be aware her copy of the deeds might show the boundary as hers too; they are notoriously unreliable!

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 10/01/2022 18:02

Don't be daft with 2nd fences. Take evidence round that shows its your fence and tell her a new fence is going up. It isn't your problem that she is being prickly.

elaeocarpus · 10/01/2022 18:07

You need to get a copy of her deeds before you say or do anything to check what they say about the boundary. It's entirely possible they show she owns the boundary too or it is shared

Original poster
Cameron2012 · 10/01/2022 18:17

@TheHoptimist

Have you looked at her deeds as well as yours? Fences often show as belonging to more than 1 house- not always as straight forward as it seems
When she said about it she said they had bought the house with the knowledge that they owned all the boundaries, on our deeds it only shows 1 T on our side. I said to her at the time that I thought it was our side but she was insistent and it was only when I paid off the mortgage the Land Registry sent me the deeds. Tbh it’s never been a problem as it’s never been an issue before, I have felt that by offering to replace the panels I have morally fulfilled any obligations I have. Maybe it does belong to both of us, but I’m not going to ask to see her deeds, that may be a can of worms best left unopened!
OP posts:
Original poster
Cameron2012 · 10/01/2022 18:20

I’m going to tell her we are putting a fence up .
She mentioned last year that she was going to replace the panels in her fence so I will say that I didn’t want her to pay for panels when we are going to put up a new fence, and I will go from there.

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 10/01/2022 18:21

If you are happy to lose a little bit of garden, go ahead and put your own fence up. It does not need to involve her at all. You can always take it down if you want to sell so that it's clear you own the land right up to the original fence.

Rustichella · 10/01/2022 18:23

You don't need to ask to see her deeds, you just download them yourself from Land Registry. I think that would be a very wise first move, as it would inform how you would approach her.

dopenguinsdance · 10/01/2022 18:24

if you want to check the information on your neighbour's deeds, you can get a copy of their title plan from the land registry for £3.00 as a starting point. Make sure you go to the official site (gov.uk one), not one of the unofficial 'agencies' as they're all stupidly expensive

www.gov.uk/search-property-information-land-registry

elaeocarpus · 10/01/2022 18:29

Given your update about how adamant she is about owning the boundaries on purchase, i would definitely get a copy of her deeds. It could be both properties show ownership, whether in error or 'shated'. You just order them yourself, no need to ask her.

elaeocarpus · 10/01/2022 18:29

Shared, not shated ....

AuntyBumBum · 10/01/2022 18:31

On the subsidiary issue, I really doubt that the value of anyone's house went up or down by gaining or losing a few inches of garden (unless the garden is already tiny). In fact not having the burden of maintaining the fence might well be more attractive!

TheHoptimist · 10/01/2022 18:33

I paid off the mortgage the Land Registry sent me the deeds.

The land registry or the mortgage company?
They may not be the most up to date- you need to check online

Original poster
Cameron2012 · 10/01/2022 18:39

@TheHoptimist

I paid off the mortgage the Land Registry sent me the deeds.

The land registry or the mortgage company?
They may not be the most up to date- you need to check online

I’m pretty sure it was the Land registry, I seem to remember we had to pay a fee, I could be wrong. Thankyou for the heads up.
OP posts: