Advice on breaking news to prickly neighbour

[Cameron2012]

I have lived in my house for about thirty years and have a good relationship with my neighbour.
She has always insisted that the boundary between our houses is hers, I have the deeds to my house and it’s mine.Its never been an issue she has had a fence up since before I moved here and when the panels have had to be replaced we have offered to pay and she has always said no.
She has a four ft fence up and we have flats that are able to overlook our garden,it has always irked me but now we have a conservatory it is more of an issue and I want to put in a five or six foot fence.
I have tried shielding with bamboo and a trellis but they just don’t work.
If you are still here Thankyou 😀
I don’t want to upset her and am willing to fit a fence next to hers, but then she will have two ft of fence sticking over the top, or pay for hers to be removed and made good.
But as I said she is going to be offended and I don’t know how to limit the damage.
I really want to keep a good relationship with her but I also want some privacy.
Advice on how to approach this would really be appreciated.

@elaeocarpus

Given your update about how adamant she is about owning the boundaries on purchase, i would definitely get a copy of her deeds. It could be both properties show ownership, whether in error or 'shated'. You just order them yourself, no need to ask her.

Thankyou, I have ordered them.

But doesn’t responsibility change dependent on who has maintained the fencing? My deeds have no T marks.

It’s quite likely she’ll fall out with you over the new fence, if she’s been so possessive over it prior to this. This happened to a friend of mine who put up a higher fence, but it was worth it for the privacy!

We have a situation where the fence is ours, but the boundary belongs to ndn. When we moved it there was no boundary fence so we put one up. You can't add trellis or fix something to or tamper with someone else's fence, even if its your boundary. The safest is to put a new one up against hers.

Definitely don't put the fence inside, you will lose that bit of land then. You need to take hers down and put yours there .

My house deeds shows all the boundaries as shared though and both my neighbours are adamant it's the usual system of everyone owning the boundary to the left. Which is a lot easier than shared !! I moved recently and noticed this my neighbours have both lived here for decades so probably haven't looked at their deeds

If you feel awkward being honest suggest your insurers are pushing for more secure boundaries..
Ime fence wars are easily started...