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Original poster

Did you feel any different once you were married?

44 replies

ForeverQuery · 08/01/2022 15:20

Been with my OH for 12 years
3 children

Getting married next week, did you feel any different once you were married?

I'm really excited to be married and he's definitely the love of my life, couldn't imagine live without him etc.

OP posts:

Liverbird77 · 08/01/2022 15:21

Congratulations!
I suppose I felt a bit more secure.

Totalwasteofpaper · 08/01/2022 15:24

No/Not really in that it didn't change our relationship in any meaningful way.

But yes in that it meant we were legally/officially a family
I also love being married and being able to proudly say that's my husband!

firstimemamma · 08/01/2022 15:26

@Totalwasteofpaper I feel the same! Absolutely love being married. Have an amazing day op!

elelel · 08/01/2022 15:30

Yes I did, but we hadn't lived together for years or had DC when we got married. I suspect my experience of being first married will differ a lot form yours.

Wombat43 · 08/01/2022 15:33

Much as I argued it made no difference and struggled with the H word, I did feel more secure. I like being married. Now been married a long time.

Wombat43 · 08/01/2022 15:34

Enjoy!

My main regret is I was nervous on the day. Make the most of it as the people who love you change over the years & getting them together is nice, if only once in our case!

FinallyMrsE · 08/01/2022 15:34

I still love being married, I think it made our relationship better as we were both committed to the long haul, and made more effort, we were very happy and had a great relationship before but it does imo make a difference.

We’d been together 8 years and now we’ve been married 6 years and I still feel the same.

Have a wonderful wedding day and hope it’s all you wanted.

HobgoblinGold · 08/01/2022 15:37

IME being married gave me the strength and commitment to continue with the relationship when my husband and I went through a difficult patch after the birth of our first child. I remember citing my vows a few times. I like being married. I feel more secure being married.

meteoric · 08/01/2022 15:40

It felt like I belonged to someone and he belonged to me. Like we were properly entwined.

Which is nonsense of course, we're both free independent people, no ownership involved, and like any marriage it can be ended if either of us wanted to!

But that secure feeling felt (and still feels) really lovely.

Original poster

ForeverQuery · 08/01/2022 15:40

Aw, definitely the replies I was hoping for.

We have a great relationship already and are very much a team.

Already feeling the nerves and sorting out the last few bits, hoping I enjoy it and don't let the nerves take over.

OP posts:

furbabymama87 · 08/01/2022 15:41

Nothing really changed beyond the feeling of contentment that we were husband and wife, not just boyfriend and girlfriend.

Mumdiva99 · 08/01/2022 15:42

No and yes....similar timescale to you before.marraige and 3 kids. I went on about wanting their name....now I am married I'm not fussed.....so I guess I feel more secure with it in a way I didn't realise.
Also it's so much easier than talking about boyfriend/other half/fiance etc and having to explain "no - we aren't married. Yes - the kids are his we just aren't married."

elQuintoConyo · 08/01/2022 15:52

Got married after 12years, still married 12 years later. Didn't feel any different. Weirdly we don't remember our wedding anniversary easily, but the anniversary of our first date, yes!

Pegasussnail · 08/01/2022 15:58

In your case you are already are married and set up and have kids. In our case we lived in other ends of the country and had no kids and only met up on a Saturday night and holidays. So it was a huge change.

But I liked the idea of being married and legally too.

BogRollBOGOF · 08/01/2022 16:02

Yes, it felt more secure (and financially it was). It was good to officially be family.

It also qualified us to be granted use of MIL's spare double bed

Simonjt · 08/01/2022 16:08

Yes, I felt that I had become a part of him, have a really lovely day 🥰

Frenchfurze · 08/01/2022 16:08

I barely noticed! I didn’t want to, but DP was keen, so we just went down to the local register office with two friends as witnesses and no fuss. I remember the year, but not even sure of the month now, far less the actual date, though like a pp, I remember our first date. We were happy before we married, we continued happy afterwards.

An old friend said recently, ten years on, that she’d had no idea we got married.

PiddleOfPuppies · 08/01/2022 16:08

Yes. I can't put my finger on it, but it was a lovely feeling. We'd only been together for a year beforehand though (still married, almost 25 years on) but lived together. The first time I referred to him as "my husband" made my stomach flipflop.

Stellaris22 · 08/01/2022 16:10

We had been together for 8 years, so no, didn't feel hugely different after being married. We just wanted to be married so the ceremony was unimportant and I do feel happier in a sense.

JeSuis · 08/01/2022 16:12

No, not really. We met young, got married young. We had a big move after we got married and that was a much bigger change. I'm not terribly romantic though!

JeSuis · 08/01/2022 16:13

We're still together and married, have two dcs now. But can't say the actual marriage part made an enormous difference to us, emotionally

Trodonplug · 08/01/2022 16:14

Yes, since marriage I feel I have someone who would have my back no matter what.

Before marriage, I felt that if I did something stupid (where perhaps I was in the wrong, e.g. a mistake at work), my DP might take the other side, but once we were married, it was almost as if DH himself had done the stupid thing (since we were the one unit) so it went without saying he would have my back, and we would fix it together.

It's hard to explain without it making my DH sound like he was unsupportive when we weren't married and/or a pushover or enabler now we are married (neither of which are true) but I definitely feel that my problems are now our problems.

plinkplinkfizzer · 08/01/2022 16:15

Well I had never lived with my Husband until we married so yeah I felt different .

LadyCleathStuart · 08/01/2022 16:16

Nope but I don't have any romantic notions about marriage, I view it as a contractual agreement. DH and I don't even celebrate our wedding anniversary but the day of our first date when our relationship actually began. I also don't wear a wedding ring.

I realise I am probably not the norm with this right enough.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 08/01/2022 16:18

Yes,even though we'd been together 10 years. Been together for over 30 now

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